Not Nagging, Not Nagging, Not ...
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| Sat, 03-18-2006 - 12:08pm |
Aaaacckk! I'm venting here because I'm not nagging! DD has several huge projects for school coming down the pipe this week and she's downstairs reading! She accused me of nagging her last week. I prefer to think I'm offering little helpful reminders, but she chose to intepret my comments a little differently.
The biggie is this: DD is a delegate in her school's Model United Nations Program. Months ago, she was one of two students selected to represent her school at at two-day conference -- it's next weekend. The weekend and conference is being sponsored by a local Rotary club that is footing the bill for the entire weekend. Hotel rooms, meals, conference fees, etc. DD went to preliminary training for this weekend in January. She's know for some time what country she will represent and what issues she must speak on. She is supposed to deliver her speech at the Rotary Club luncheon Thursday and she hasn't even started it! This isn't something she can just waltz in on and fly by the seat of her pants and do well. I am a firm believer in the suffering of consequences and dealing with the repercussions of our actions, or lack thereof, in this case, but I'm having a hard time biting my tongue. If she goes in to the Rotary Club lunch next week unprepared, not only will she look bad herself, but it will reflect poorly on the school as well.
This is on top of usual weekend homework and two major projects due next week for other homework!
Last night, I said something like "I know you've got a bunch of stuff you need to get done, and dad is going out of town on Sunday, so I've deliberately not planned anything for the weekend so you can really focus on getting your projects out of the way." Thought I was being sneaky in my nagging.
Looks like it fell on deaf ears. I couldn't help myself! I had to say something about reading vs. homework already this morning. If looks could kill, I wouldn't be sitting here right now.
Okay ... breathe ... not nagging, not nagging, keeping my mouth shut ...
Jules

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I tend to agree with Rose - she is young and she may need help setting a schedule and sticking to it. I went through a similar thing with my DD and finally I laid out the consequences for her. If the homework wasn't done or if the grades weren't what I felt they should be, then she wouldn't go out on the weekend until she made up that work. It didn't matter if the teacher accepted it or not - it had to pass my test. I stressed that she had to learn the material either during the week or on the weekend. It worked. She is now a senior and has pulled up those grades so that she's 12th in a class of over 300 students (even with her poor freshmen and sophomore year grades). There was no nagging involved. I told her the consequences and I stuck with them. It only took her a few weekends and she got the message loud and clear.
Find your DD's "carrott" and dangle away. Set the consequences high enough for her and she will respond. You can offer to reward her for getting the work done in advance or take away privileges - whatever works for her.
BTW, I am a huge procrastinator. I didn't learn time management until my senior year of college. I was working 3 P-T jobs, had a baby at home, a DH that didn't know the meaning of help, and a full class load. Nothing got put off to the last minute b/c that last minute never seemed to be available. I left my books open on the couch when I went to bed. When I got for a mid-night feeding, the baby and I would study together. Baby and bottle in one hand and book on the couch beside me. I never wasted a minute. My grades improved tremendously that semester.
Good Luck & I hope she is learns this lesson a little earlier than I did!
I love the scrapbook page! You have the coolest ideas for your photos. If I ever get organized with my albums, I may steal some of your ideas. I have sorta been wondering what happened to the winter formal pics ...
At DD's school, it's actually the shoes that are the wildest, since there are no official school shoes on normal uniform days. There are some rules (no flip-flops for instance, and shoes have to have backs or straps) and I have seem some very creative choices in shoes and socks on campus. My favorite was the boy in orange Van's slip-ons and neon green and white checked socks. The girls go all out on their shoes. The wilder and more colorful, the better, it seems. That's the California edge, I guess.
Dress days are something different though. DD said that at orientation day, one of the teachers stood up and said "obviously, some of you don't know what dress shoes are ..." I thought that was pretty funny.
Thanks! Steal away - I do it all the time. This is one of the things I do to keep my sanity ...
Oh - and this was a dress day - the shirtail haning out is strictly illegal (as is the gum). I did cheat, though - the photo was taken in my kitchen and I montaged the lockers in. Dd puts up with a lot of posing - and probably wouldn't flinch too very much about posing at school for me, but this was just plain easier.
.... and I wouldn't mind if they could wear fun shoes ... . I just didn't like that some kids could get away with pink shoes and others were sent to the office. I don't think they give detentions for uniform things unless the person is a repeat offender.
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