Not Really a Parent, but ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Not Really a Parent, but ...
1
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 11:14am
Hoping you can find a place for me at this board. My husband is 18 years older than his younger sister (different fathers). His mother is the worst excuse for a parent I have ever met. She is the most selfish self-centered person in the world. I could write a book about the many ways I can't stand her. My husband was mostly raised by his grandmother, but more or less raised himself. Amazingly, he turned out fine - total opposite of both of his parents (thankfully!). Anyway, later in life with his little sister, his mother repeated her past mistakes, remained selfish and didn't know the meaning of taking care of your child. To make a very, very long-story short, my sister-in-law has been living with my husband and I for two years now + we raise her as if she were our own daughter. We are the ones who pay for everything, go to school events, help with homework, help with school projects, pay for field trips, movies, etc., gives allowances, and basically are there for anything + everything. His mother does NOTHING yet she thinks she is a "good mother" and that she "does the best" she can!!! This annoys me to no end! I could tell myself that it shouldn't be my responsibility to raise someone else's child, especially when the biological parent is someone I absolutely despise, but in the end, his sister would be the one to suffer if we didn't take her + she is very appreciative to us and wishes we were her biological parents. Her thankfulness + her growing up to be a good person will be the reward for our sacrifice. It just annoys me to no end sometimes because my husband's mother will go out to concerts, treat herself to facials, manicures + the rest of it and then complain to him that she is in debt and she does what she can for my sister-in-law (which amounts to a few small gifts (and I do mean small) during holidays and nothing more). UGH!!!!!!!! Well, I'm not exactly a parent or a step-parent, but I sure feel like one + thanks for letting me vent!



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 1:24pm
Hi, welcome to the board and there is always room for those with teenagers in their lives, parents, guardians or not. ;-)

There's not much that can be done with mom unless she wants to change herself, which is evident she doesn't. Your husband and you are doing a wonderful thing raising his sister. She has two people in her life who do care and that's what counts.