Not a reg but need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Not a reg but need advice
1
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 12:00pm
This is mostly a vent but I'm also looking for a bit of advice.

balloon2.png picture by flower81596 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 12:08pm
sorry you are having trouble! I'm guessing that it must be harder to 'parent' a sibling, since it is such a change in relationship, and you may not be all that much older than her. Maybe she's having a hard time taking you seriously, which is a real shame! My best suggestion is to have really clear consequences, and make sure you enforce them religiously. I'd even say you could sit her down for a family meeting and explain that you need to change a few things because it hasn't been working well, and lay out exactly what the consequences will be - ie., you can't go ANYWHERE until your chores are done, or whatever. One question about your bedtime rule, though ....what is it exactly? She has to be int he house, or in her room, or actually lights out? I have a problem with bedtime rules for several reasons - one is that teens are on a different biological clock and just often CAN'T get to sleep any earlier. The other is that you can't enforce it, unless YOU want to stay up all night to make sure she isn't. So my rule with my 15 year old is that he has to be in his room and quiet after 11:00. He suffers from an anxiety disorder and is often awake for HOURS after that, but making him turn the light out would just mean that he's wide awake in the dark, worrying about things ;-)