Not sure how to handle daughter

Avatar for brwnid_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Not sure how to handle daughter
16
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 10:05am

My 15 yr old daughter is a bright loving child.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2011
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 12:22am
Just wanted to say, I read your original post and the comments to follow. In my opinion you do not come across as a bad parent and frankly, your theory on raising your kid is your business and your business only. Your purpose of posting was for ideas on how to help your daughter be all the she can be. You shared a concern for her quitting a team, for not participating. Unfortunately on a public forum people will read into a situation and assume you are doing this or that. You know in your heart what your intention was in coming to this board with your question and that's that.
I understand being a mother of a teenage daughter, wanting her to be all she can be, not taking the easy way out, sticking with what she committed to. I get it.
I'm sorry you felt attacked or judged. That's not a fun feeling.
The fact that you found this board and asked for opinions shows how caring you are.
Hang in there.
<3
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 10:47pm

Just to clarify, no I don't think you are a bad parent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 7:05pm
You're not coming across as a bad parent at all. It sounds like you and your kids have overcome a lot. All family dynamics are different and what works for one family may not work for another. Heck - what works for one kid may not work for another kid in the same family! You know your dd best and I can understand your concern if you feel she is developing bad habits/traits/etc. Hang in there - if you can get some useful advice or information here take it and leave the rest!
Pam
Avatar for brwnid_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 6:37pm

I'm starting to get the impression that I'm coming across as a bad parent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 4:03pm

I don't think I would discount her being hurt.

Avatar for brwnid_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 2:23pm

Thank you!

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 1:40pm

I think your 3 options are just fine. If she's not truely injured, she needs to be practicing. If she's got an injury that pulls her out of practice for 2 weeks, she should absolutely be seen by a doctor. If she's not going to practice and won't be seen by a doctor, then really, she shouldn't be on the team. You are giving her very fair options in my opinion.

At this age, kids are starting to look more realistically at where they are abilty wise and it's normal for some refocusing to happen. It may be that she does enjoy the sport but perhaps she's not really fitting on this competitive team. She may go back to it more recreationally later.

If this were a serial problem, I might think differently but it's OK to switch gears once in awhile. I'd still want her to do "something" but it doesn't have to be basketball.

Avatar for brwnid_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 12:58pm
Again, please do not respond your advice is unwanted.

Thank you
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 12:41pm

I only know what you have said, and here it is.

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Avatar for brwnid_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 12:18pm

Yes, my dd is very interested in other activities such as art music an writing.

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