ohhhhh now i get it. i just connected the fact that you had left them alone for a few minutes with the touching...
so no - there is no calll for grounding her. she IS a good kid and its great that she broke up with her previous bf over the 'pressuring'. its also a blessing in disguise, so to speak, that she knows first hand what CAN happen when you get pregnant at 14. my only concern in this particular case is that she is going thru *other* issues right now and i was concerned that she would just push herself into a sexual relationship because of the other stuff.
I am also in the same kind of situation with my 14, just (last week) turned 15 year old. She sounds in a way like yours- broke up with a guy because he was pushing her way too fast. Thank God when she told me she'd done that because I was really starting to get worried about how far things might end up going & wasn't sure what to do.
The one thing that really worried & upset me was that they are both on the HS ski team so have time together each day going up to the hill & then back on the bus every day. She let me know that something was going on but would never say how far & I was biting my fingernails that it was too far & way too fast. I talked to 1 of the coaches about it & was somewhat reassuredthat there was some supervision so I thought that perhaps she was just trying to scare me.
When it came time for them to go to their 1st ski meet- an overnight- I did sit down & talk to her about it all, most especially on the STD figuring that might scare her into holding off. Also, I brought up how wild most boys' hormones are at this age- even talked about wet dreams to make her say Gross! (since she's an only child there're no brothers around to let her know how "weird" some boys might be. Anyway, when I picked her up the next evening she broke into tears as soon as she got in the car because he was so uncaring & got mad when she said (came up with an excuse) that she wasn't feeling good. So Monday she dumped him, in front of a groups of other kids. I was proud of her but concerned that that sort of thing is even at all possible in the school bus. We just moved to this town so I'm not going to bring it up to the boy's mother. If I knew her better I think I would, mostly because I sure hope somebody would give me a head's up if it was my son (or daughter) pushing or going too fast.
Anyway I'm right there with you & hope that somebody out there has more experience or ideas on how to best deal with this!
Wow! Right at the moment my DD is skiiing w/ her ski club that BF also belongs to. However, we live in the adirondacks and the mountain is 13 minutes from my house and I am picking her up (she's doesn't ride the bus home). My DH and I have talked and feel that we just need to provide ADULT SUPERVISION AT ALL TIMES. Our concerns lie in the fact that both DD and this boy seem totally obssessed with each other and have for some time. My Dh thinks that my older sons are intimidating to this boy and he wouldn't dare. Well, let me just say, there is "heat" from dd and this guy and I think he is being naive. Sharon
I guess I'm confused. You returned after leaving dd and bf at your home and said I hope you behaved yourselves. Dd then confesses to a touching episode with a former bf?
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ohhhhh now i get it. i just connected the fact that you had left them alone for a few minutes with the touching...
so no - there is no calll for grounding her. she IS a good kid and its great that she broke up with her previous bf over the 'pressuring'. its also a blessing in disguise, so to speak, that she knows first hand what CAN happen when you get pregnant at 14. my only concern in this particular case is that she is going thru *other* issues right now and i was concerned that she would just push herself into a sexual relationship because of the other stuff.
hang in there!!
I am also in the same kind of situation with my 14, just (last week) turned 15 year old. She sounds in a way like yours- broke up with a guy because he was pushing her way too fast. Thank God when she told me she'd done that because I was really starting to get worried about how far things might end up going & wasn't sure what to do.
The one thing that really worried & upset me was that they are both on the HS ski team so have time together each day going up to the hill & then back on the bus every day. She let me know that something was going on but would never say how far & I was biting my fingernails that it was too far & way too fast. I talked to 1 of the coaches about it & was somewhat reassuredthat there was some supervision so I thought that perhaps she was just trying to scare me.
When it came time for them to go to their 1st ski meet- an overnight- I did sit down & talk to her about it all, most especially on the STD figuring that might scare her into holding off. Also, I brought up how wild most boys' hormones are at this age- even talked about wet dreams to make her say Gross! (since she's an only child there're no brothers around to let her know how "weird" some boys might be. Anyway, when I picked her up the next evening she broke into tears as soon as she got in the car because he was so uncaring & got mad when she said (came up with an excuse) that she wasn't feeling good. So Monday she dumped him, in front of a groups of other kids. I was proud of her but concerned that that sort of thing is even at all possible in the school bus.
We just moved to this town so I'm not going to bring it up to the boy's mother. If I knew her better I think I would, mostly because I sure hope somebody would give me a head's up if it was my son (or daughter) pushing or going too fast.
Anyway I'm right there with you & hope that somebody out there has more experience or ideas on how to best deal with this!
Sharon
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