Not sure what to do.....advice please?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Not sure what to do.....advice please?
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 11:25am

I know I don't post on this board much but I'm in need of some advice concerning my 17 year old daughter.

She's a very outgoing, loves to be around her friends, texting/computer, drawing type of kid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 1:00pm

Death is for old folks, like grandparents,great aunts, or when you are are like us over forty, parents sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 7:39pm

I am convinced there's no such thing as a right way to grieve. A lot of people want to be with the friends they had in common with the deceased; others want to process it alone for a while. I think Mahopac is right on the money about healthy and unhealthy grieving. It's important to recognize the difference between grief and despair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 6:07pm

My DSs 26 lost a very good friend in a car accident the middle of their senior year of high school, and they were pretty out of sorts for a month or two afterward.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 2:03pm

I am sure she wants to be with her friends and process it with her friends.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 12:18pm
Hi Kelly, I am sorry to hear of the loss. I agree with musiclover, I think that she will probably be out of sorts for a while, and even for a while afterwards, even if she seems fine for a while, may have a bit of a relapse depending on how well they knew each other, certain things that may remind her of that person, etc. I had a very good friend of mine die in a car crash when I was 20, we hadn't spoken in a while, but we had been very close through high school and during my pregnancy with ODD. It was very hard for a while, and even now there are things that pop up that remind me of her 13 years later. Give her some time, and you guys are pretty close and open with each other, I think she'll come to you and talk if she needs to, and of course definitely remind her that you are there anytime she needs to talk. You can also always suggest talking to a counselor, even the school counselors once school gets back in session. Hugs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 11:45am

I can certainly imagine that she will be out of sorts.