ok ds wants his lip pierced ..arhhhhhhhh

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
ok ds wants his lip pierced ..arhhhhhhhh
19
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:51am
Now what!!!??? ok, he is a challenging child, must admit he has been pretty good w/school and not getting into too much trouble and for his age, he prefers to stay home and play games w/friends on the comp or go to his friend's house and play games on comp. anyway, the last two weeks he's been mentioning that he wants his lip pierced.and his friend(the one he skipped with) wants his eyebrow pierced. we ofcourse told him NO. he has such nice skin and nice lips...i told him i didi not want him to put a hole in his face. he is arguing w/us saying he listens to us all the time and now he wants to do this cuz it's something he really wants. alot of the kids in his school are having this done and i think he want to "fit in" and the girls are telling him to do it. my son really never had a girlfriend but was always the girls good friend. anyway he may be doing this to impress. we told him no. i think he is laying a guilt trip on me and is saying that he really wants me there when he has it done. i told him he can't w/o my consent. says he'll find a way and have an 18 yr old go w/him. my husband told him that if he did this, he would never see his computer again and my son's response was "you'll never see me again." .... omg. he says he's doing it tomorrow. so now what?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 12:23pm

First of all, threatening "you'll never ..." is no way to handle anything. Very little in life is worth a "never". This needs to be discussed calmly and rationally. I would sit down with him and ask him why this is so important to him. Really listen to him and if he says something like b/c so and so has one or b/c it's cool - accept that as his reason b/c to a teen being cool or being like so and so is very important. I wouldn't try to old jumping off a bridge argument. Explain to him any possible medical implications (I had a student once with an infected tattoo - really gross). Also explain to him that others will perceive him differently (right or wrong - that's how it is). It could affect his ability to obtain work (literally, some companies have bans against piercings, tattoos, etc). Costco actually had a worker file suit against them for this.

How old is he? If he is a few months from 18, please ask him to wait until then and then you will pay for it maybe. This will give him time to cool off and think this through. But if you make this deal with him be prepared to pay. Also remember that a piercing is not the end of his life. The ring can be removed later in life. Yes there may be a small scar but who among us doesn't scars either inside or outside that shows we've learned a few lessons the hard way.

Good Luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 1:31pm

Oh boy.

Avatar for scoutnut
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 1:41pm

Tell him that he can have as many 18 yo's as he want go with him, but he still can not have a body piercing done in your state without a parent or legal guardian giving their consent, IN PERSON, at the time of the piercing.


Let him know

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 3:45pm
No, i know he's serious and not just trying to get me going. he was asking about his cartledge pierced a while ago and we said "no" and now i would rather the cartledge than the lip....he just called and he passed his driver's test and i think he wants to go w/one of the girls at school to get this done..he said his one friend freed up her schedule to go w/him...I do not want him to do it..not only the appearance thing or the way people will look at him for that matter but for medical reasons mostly..infections, you never know what is possible. he said in two years he will probably remove it after the thrill is gone but wants to get it done for now....he also informed me last week in confidence that he has been smoking...arrrrrr...said it's been since about 2 yrs ago but off and on not every day. so two nights ago, he tells me he quit. ok good but that's not to inspire me into a yes. I do not want him to do this....i Know it's not the end of the world and it's nothing that can't be taken out, it's not perminent but i just don't want him to do it. arrrrrrrrrrrrrr ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 4:25pm
I say let him pierce his lip. It's a generational thing, and in the end, it's still

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 4:40pm
I'm with most of the others - I'd make him wait til he's 18 and then have him pay for it in addition to any medical bills he may get from it.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 7:30pm

Of course you should say absolutely no if you cannot live with the piercing. But it is going to be hard to stop him if he is determined. There are ways to get around everything -- even the 18 and over rules. You and I both know that when a kid really wants to do something they will find a way even against our wishes. Personally I think face piercings are not very attractive and if you get one you have to be very careful with the hygiene component because they can get infected. I don't know about this "pleasing the girls" stuff because what's so pleasing about kissing a guy with a lip ring? Ewww.

Now if he does go ahead without your consent, I'd be pretty pissed off of course but look at it this way -- he could be doing a whole lot worse. I remember when my sister was a teen she had this tendency to get the craziest, nuttiest haircuts in the world. I'm talking spikes and shaved sides and weird colours etc. When we went to family weddings there were always alot of awkward comments about how "interesting" her hair was. And that carried to the outfits too -- crazy styles, combat boots. And she had pierced ears like most girls but her thing was to wear ONE earring only. There would always be comments on how she'd lost an earring somewhere. Now I'm sure my mum would have preferred that she was a little more mainstream in her appearance. But my mum never fought her on it. She had excellent grades and caused very little problems, really so my mum let it go. She figured that at least she wasn't doing drugs and running around with guys. If all that she did was cut her hair weird my mum could live with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 8:57pm

Wolverine,

What did you end up getting your mother for Christmas? You got lots of great ideas and suggestions, as I recall. And did she love it? whatever it was?

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 4:05am
I ended up getting her a couple books about serial killers (she has some weird obsession with that sort of stuff), a box of Godiva chocolate, and a sweater from Coldwater Creek. She loved all of it.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 8:35am
I know how you are feeling. Although my ds waited until he was 18 and at college to get the piercing. I will say this, I was better able to handle the piercing than the tattoos. I feel as though the piercing is temporary, when they are tired of it, it will heal and be gone. As far as the piercing goes, I would rather have the lip then cartilege, although the lip is more noticeable, it also heals much quicker. If they remove the piercing for even a few hours it starts to heal over. So if something comes up and he needs to remove the piercing, it is gone unless he wants to pay to get it repierced. Not sure how old you son is but if you are really against it make him wait until he is 18, but if this is a way to rebel and try toestablish a separate indentity from his parents, I would almost say let him do it rather than something else that is permanent. The stigma attached to piercings and tattoos that was around when I was younger is really not present today, (such as only motorcycle gang members had them), If he runs into an employer who makes him remove it, it won't be you telling him, it will be an outsider and may have more impact. I agree with the person who stated that you have to pick your battles. That is how I viewed it when my son did his, it was not the end of the world, and it was temporary. He is a great kid and a good student. His rationale, you can only do it when you are young, and I had to agree with him.
Good luck whatever you decide.

Pages