ok ds wants his lip pierced ..arhhhhhhhh
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ok ds wants his lip pierced ..arhhhhhhhh
| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:51am |
Now what!!!??? ok, he is a challenging child, must admit he has been pretty good w/school and not getting into too much trouble and for his age, he prefers to stay home and play games w/friends on the comp or go to his friend's house and play games on comp. anyway, the last two weeks he's been mentioning that he wants his lip pierced.and his friend(the one he skipped with) wants his eyebrow pierced. we ofcourse told him NO. he has such nice skin and nice lips...i told him i didi not want him to put a hole in his face. he is arguing w/us saying he listens to us all the time and now he wants to do this cuz it's something he really wants. alot of the kids in his school are having this done and i think he want to "fit in" and the girls are telling him to do it. my son really never had a girlfriend but was always the girls good friend. anyway he may be doing this to impress. we told him no. i think he is laying a guilt trip on me and is saying that he really wants me there when he has it done. i told him he can't w/o my consent. says he'll find a way and have an 18 yr old go w/him. my husband told him that if he did this, he would never see his computer again and my son's response was "you'll never see me again." .... omg. he says he's doing it tomorrow. so now what?

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First of all, threatening "you'll never ..." is no way to handle anything. Very little in life is worth a "never". This needs to be discussed calmly and rationally. I would sit down with him and ask him why this is so important to him. Really listen to him and if he says something like b/c so and so has one or b/c it's cool - accept that as his reason b/c to a teen being cool or being like so and so is very important. I wouldn't try to old jumping off a bridge argument. Explain to him any possible medical implications (I had a student once with an infected tattoo - really gross). Also explain to him that others will perceive him differently (right or wrong - that's how it is). It could affect his ability to obtain work (literally, some companies have bans against piercings, tattoos, etc). Costco actually had a worker file suit against them for this.
How old is he? If he is a few months from 18, please ask him to wait until then and then you will pay for it maybe. This will give him time to cool off and think this through. But if you make this deal with him be prepared to pay. Also remember that a piercing is not the end of his life. The ring can be removed later in life. Yes there may be a small scar but who among us doesn't scars either inside or outside that shows we've learned a few lessons the hard way.
Good Luck!!
Oh boy.
Tell him that he can have as many 18 yo's as he want go with him, but he still can not have a body piercing done in your state without a parent or legal guardian giving their consent, IN PERSON, at the time of the piercing.
Let him know
Of course you should say absolutely no if you cannot live with the piercing. But it is going to be hard to stop him if he is determined. There are ways to get around everything -- even the 18 and over rules. You and I both know that when a kid really wants to do something they will find a way even against our wishes. Personally I think face piercings are not very attractive and if you get one you have to be very careful with the hygiene component because they can get infected. I don't know about this "pleasing the girls" stuff because what's so pleasing about kissing a guy with a lip ring? Ewww.
Now if he does go ahead without your consent, I'd be pretty pissed off of course but look at it this way -- he could be doing a whole lot worse. I remember when my sister was a teen she had this tendency to get the craziest, nuttiest haircuts in the world. I'm talking spikes and shaved sides and weird colours etc. When we went to family weddings there were always alot of awkward comments about how "interesting" her hair was. And that carried to the outfits too -- crazy styles, combat boots. And she had pierced ears like most girls but her thing was to wear ONE earring only. There would always be comments on how she'd lost an earring somewhere. Now I'm sure my mum would have preferred that she was a little more mainstream in her appearance. But my mum never fought her on it. She had excellent grades and caused very little problems, really so my mum let it go. She figured that at least she wasn't doing drugs and running around with guys. If all that she did was cut her hair weird my mum could live with it.
Wolverine,
What did you end up getting your mother for Christmas? You got lots of great ideas and suggestions, as I recall. And did she love it? whatever it was?
Julie
Good luck whatever you decide.
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