ok ds wants his lip pierced ..arhhhhhhhh
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ok ds wants his lip pierced ..arhhhhhhhh
| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:51am |
Now what!!!??? ok, he is a challenging child, must admit he has been pretty good w/school and not getting into too much trouble and for his age, he prefers to stay home and play games w/friends on the comp or go to his friend's house and play games on comp. anyway, the last two weeks he's been mentioning that he wants his lip pierced.and his friend(the one he skipped with) wants his eyebrow pierced. we ofcourse told him NO. he has such nice skin and nice lips...i told him i didi not want him to put a hole in his face. he is arguing w/us saying he listens to us all the time and now he wants to do this cuz it's something he really wants. alot of the kids in his school are having this done and i think he want to "fit in" and the girls are telling him to do it. my son really never had a girlfriend but was always the girls good friend. anyway he may be doing this to impress. we told him no. i think he is laying a guilt trip on me and is saying that he really wants me there when he has it done. i told him he can't w/o my consent. says he'll find a way and have an 18 yr old go w/him. my husband told him that if he did this, he would never see his computer again and my son's response was "you'll never see me again." .... omg. he says he's doing it tomorrow. so now what?

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I know what you are going through. A few years back my ds wanted his eyebrow pierced and I am not a big fan of body piercing and we do have a rule about when you are 18 you can get a tattoo when you can sign and pay for it. DH and I talked about it and since he was good in school, no real big problems with him and he might as well do it while he is young before he gets a real job in the real world. We let him get it pierced and within two months he took it out and you can't even tell that he was pierced. He had two earrings in his left ear too, but those are now gone as well. He is 18 now and seems to really be his own person and not just following the fads anymore.
Good luck with your decision.
L & H,
Angie (mom to ds 18, dd 16, b/g twins 4)
As others have pointed out, a common benchmark for raising teens seems to be.. Don't say "no" when you can easily say "yes". e.g. Choose your battles..
Well...sometimes you've got to cut the parent a little slack too.
Similar to one of our favorite posters who has recently shared a quirky phobia..
I have an intense aversion to flesh modification by the use of various metallic and dangling accoutrements. The use of ear lobes doesn't usually make my skin crawl probably because it's been mainstreamed so long. On a good day, I can actually *look* at ear cartilage decoration.
Ocassionally, we are allowed to say "no" simply because of something that has absolutely nothing to do with them. Concede them to be the center of the universe the rest of the time. If someone I lived with did this it would be *extremely* upsetting to me for my own reasons, not some parental power trip.
Can teens be allowed to recognize parents are human? Or is this form of disfigurement just that important.
I personally find lip piercing to be gross, but can you find a compromise?
When my 18dd was 14 she asked to get her lip and nose pierced. First I told her no way on the lip (cuz it grosses me out and there was no way I could sit across from her at dinner and see that - EW). Then, I asked her to wait until she was 15 for the nose and if she still wanted it, then I would allow a stud, but no dangling rings as long as she lived in my house. So, we waited the 6 months until her 15th b'day and she still wanted it so we went together and she had it done. She said it killed with pain. The pain killed her desire to get any other piercings other than on her ears. No belly button, no lip or eyebrow, just her ears. I can live with 6 piercings on both ears over a lip or eyebrow ring any day.
When my 16dd was 14 she wanted her eyebrow and belly button pierced - she also wants those little sharp darts under her lip above her chin, in the cleft. Again I said she had to wait and that the only thing I would allow was the belly button. When she was 15 she got her belly button done and it's fine. She likes it, I hardly ever notice it, and she keeps it clean. Unfortunately, this dd keeps pushing the envelope: She tried to pierce her own nipples (ouch!) and her labret (that space between her bottom lip and chin (UGH). Both times it caused an infection - and that's when I found out. She has finally agreed that she can wait until she is out of my house to have those things done and have them done by a professional. She is not so keen on the nipple anymore, thankfully.
MY point is, find a way to compromise. I agree with daddio about choosing your battles. I have never been one to just put the hammer down and say NO because I've found that it backfires with an especially strong willed child, like my 16dd. I've learned that learning to choose your battles and bend a little not only makes life easier, but it also teaches my kids about compromise and reasoning, as well as having respect for other's ideas and opinions and how thier actions affect everyone in the family.
I wasn't referring to you being on a parental power trip. I was talking about the perception of our teens regarding our decisions. I was also talking about my personal aversion to this type of disfigurement. I was rambling about myself, not about you.
My point (badly made), was that we as parents can say no sometimes without all this processing.
You don't want him to do this for some very good reasons. That should be the end of it.
Regardless of any potential future threats to do this with a rusty nail in some back alley.. :-)
It's difficult to find a place that does this (since it's a "newer" method), BUT... some places will pierce the bottom lip vertically with a barbell, so that the piercing never rubs against your teeth.
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