OK or interfering?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
OK or interfering?
9
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 11:35pm

My DD broke up with her bf right before Valentine's Day. She's dated this boy on 3 separate occasions. That relationship generally lasts 2 or 3 months, then she starts complaining about how boring he is or that he doesn't give her enough space. A few weeks ago, after the latest breakup, she acted

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 7:39am

In 99% of cases, I'd say it's best to stay out of teenage drama as much as possible while still trying to teach our own kids a moral code of how people should be treated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 12:29pm

I'm sure that's what I'll have to do. Last night after bowling, all 4 came over here. About 11pm, the other couple left, so I waited a few minutes and went to the family room. It was dark and the boy was lying on the floor and she was giving him a back rub. I flipped the light on, and said "You need to go home." He left, then DD was "explaining" how he was just getting ready to leave, but had mentioned his shoulder was sore. So she decided to just be nice and give him a backrub really quick before he left. Uh-huh.

Anyway, she knows what I think, so from now on I'm keeping my mouth shut. But that doesn't mean I can't ask him to leave (politely) whenever he's here alone with her.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 3:31pm

I agree completely with Rose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 7:21pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 10:52pm

I think all you can do is point out how you view the situation and then stay out of it (except asking him to leave when you feel it's time for him to go).

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 12:08am

Well, your dd's character issues, and the lack of spine in the boy she is pursuing aside, it seems you have enabled, if not actually encouraged, her bad behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 2:09pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 7:45pm

A very dear friend in her mid 40s divorced about a year and half ago. She immediately got into this rebound relationship and has now broken up with him for the second time, saying she needs more time alone. But, yep, he immeidately went to someone else and she is going on about him and following it on Facebook. I spent more than an hour listening to her(despite efforts to ask about work and her children). I mean, it was so high school!

It is about insecurity and I don't know what you can do to fix that. I would say get some self help type books on building confidence and work on that so you are ignoring the BF issue and working on the deeper issue.

Sometimes taking on a challenge and meeting it can be the best way to feel good about one's self. I don't know that there are as many

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 10:34pm

It's hard to