Online Chat Rooms and 13 yo DD
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Online Chat Rooms and 13 yo DD
| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 5:16pm |
Hi I am new to this board, but am hoping you can provide some assistance.
| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 5:16pm |
Hi I am new to this board, but am hoping you can provide some assistance.
Jessi,
I totally sympathize as we've had this problem with my DD who will be 14 in (gulp!) 5 days.
It may sound simplistic, but just take the computer privilege away. We've restricted our computer so that it requires a parental password if she wants to go to any site not allowed by the restrictions we set up.
We've talked until we're blue in the face and the kids just don't get it. I've talked to her friends, her friends' parents, etc. because these kids put their phone numbers on xanga and the like. They don't understand how easy it is to track them and get to them just from the information they post online. The newest one is "tagged.com" and it's supposedly limited to 13-19 year olds. My DD argued that "it's just for teenagers there are no adult perverts on there" until I showed her the profile I dummied and created, saying I was 13 years old and using the picture of a cute teenage boy I copied from somewhere else on the 'net. Anyone can lie.
DH and I have also talked about having a man we know that she doesn't know track her through her and her friends xanga accounts and put a fear into her by approaching her or whatever.
It's scary and I strongly believe we, as parents, need to keep control. Our computer is in the kitchen so that we know what she's doing. She knows we monitor her activity. We have a keylogger on it so we can check on her. I know there are parents on this board who disagree with my level of control, and I have lightened up some. She still visits restricted sites when she's at other computers so it's not the answer to totally lock her down, but apparently she's not listening if she won't accept the justification behind some of it as just plain dangerous. Then again, she's 14 so she's not supposed to see the big picture--that's my job as Mom.
IMO, one of the problems with the world today is the lack of parental involvement in our kids' lives. Kids will lie to get what they want--they have since the dawn of time. We have to be smarter, faster, and more sly than ever to keep up...just to keep our kids safe.
Hang in there, keep talking talking talking, and impose some rules and consequences for breaking those rules. She'll appreciate it in about 10 years (or at least that was the age I finally appreciated my mom) and until then, we're all here for you!
Dani
I agree with most of what Dawn said. I too have monitoring software on my computer and that helped alot. It also actually helped my DD to study better. She knew I would know if she was on myspace or AIM when she was supposed to be studying.
I would have a problem with getting an adult friend/stranger approach my child simply b/c if a stranger really did approach her later on, she might just assume it was one of mom's friends trying to teach her a lesson again.
I used to periodically sit with DD when she was on AIM and go through her buddy list. If a buddy was someone that I hadn't actually met, I usually made her delete them. She learned pretty quickly that if I could sit down three or four times in a row and know all her contacts, that my visits with her would become farther and farther between.
Good Luck!!