opinions on medication?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
opinions on medication?
12
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 11:58am
I'm going back and forth on this one - I'm a little reluctant to medicate kids anyway, and my so is very much against it. However, his counsellor thinks we should be looking at it as a possibility, since he's having a really hard time right now in a few areas. "snapshot" - he's ADHD, has Post Traumatic Stress, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and some degree of depression. He was medicated for ADHD when he was 10, and that really seemed to help - but hasn't been medicated since. His counsellor thinks that the root of his behaviour is actually the anxiety, and THAT is what we should be medicating for. Obviously, the decision is going to have to be made in consulation with a child psychiatrist, and the counsellor is getting us a referral, but I'm wondering what other parents think. And any ideas for how to get him to buy into trying this since he is so adamantly opposed??

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Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 2:38pm

I am not so keen on medicating kids either. However, my dd17 takes medication. She has such sensitivity to meds overall that she is on an incredibly low dose of anti-depressant to help with depression and anxiety. It does help a lot.

However, she was diagnosed with bi-polar in January and since then we've really been on the fence about meds. Her BP is not so bad or unmanageable that I feel we can probably get by without further meds. DD and I had a meeting with her DR the other day and it was suggested that we try another med to help stabilize her (seasonably, she is a little manic).

Before you see the psychiatrist be sure and make a list of questions, have your son weigh in with his own set of questions. Ask about longevity of the meds, how long will he need to take it, can you start on the lowest dose possible, will it interfere with smoking or alcohol intake, will it affect sleep habits and concentration, etc. Then, do your own research. I will warn you: Do not take "Joe Blow's" word for it. All meds work differently on each person. What has worked for my dd may not for your son, or me or you. Everyone's body is different and we all metabolize drugs differently, so that's important to remember when someone recommends a meds that's worked for them.

A good psychiatrist will evaluate the levels of problems your son is having, weigh in on how much they are affecting his ability to get through school, work, everything. The DR should also take into account that your son is against meds and help to assuage his fears or concerns by sharing as much information as possible with him. I have found that the more involved my dd is in her own treatment, the less resistant she is to try something new. She knows we're not too keen on taking meds without first trying alternative methods naturally, but she also recognizes that her life without the AD is pure hell.

At one point, when my dd was resistent to taking her meds, we offered an alternative plan for her: Mandatory exercise at least 35 minutes per day, an organized sport, a daily meditation or bath to relax her, strict bedtime routines, vitamins and a strict diet without dyes and additives. She went along with it for a while, noting some improvements but that experience helped her to see that it was more than just diet and exercise. The experience also helped her to learn how to care for herself a little better. I'd still like to see her be more active, but she's just a sloth and no amount of nagging or incentives will get her moving more.

I hope you're able to at least get your son in to see the DR and discuss the various options. Otherwise, I would consider finding a naturopath for him to consult with. Best of luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 2:39pm

I can't remember how old your son is but if he is a younger teen you can probably just say this is the way it is. But I think I would first let the psychiatrist have a crack at explaining to him the benefits of the meds and any possible side effects. Let the psychiatrist explain to him that there are several types of meds/dosages that they may have to try to find the right one and that this is in his best interest. Sometimes hearing this from a professional goes down much better than hearing it from mom. It may come down your saying okay let's try it for X # of months and if we haven't seen any improvement then you don't have to take it anymore and pray that he notices the improvement.

I had to let dd hit rock bottom with her ADD before she would take meds. Now she wouldn't attempt to go without it. Every once in a while, she forgets to call in the refill for a few days and she quickly remembers why she needs this.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 2:07pm
Thanks....he is 15.5 so I think he has to have some level of "buy in" into this.I'm really hoping that if he at least TRIES he'll feel the difference for himself. Honestly, I am considering medication for HIS sake, of course, but I have to admit that I'm also motivated by how hard he is to live with right now! I get the "in your face" screaming rages at least once a week - usually triggered over something absolutely ridiculous, and he has my 13 year old daughter constantly on edge and in tears with his nastiness. He really seems to be 'self medicating" by creating his own adrenaline surges through the blow ups he has and instigates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 2:11pm
Thanks for your thoughts and ideas. I don't know how long it takes to get in to see a child psychiatrist around here, but I'll keep doing my research in the meantime! I'm not sure whether or not I should even bring this up with A. too far in advance - maybe I'll ask his counsellor how she thinks we should handle it. I'm afraid that rather than giving him time to think of questions, etc, it'll just give him more time to dig in his heels and say "no way!". He believes (or at least SAYS - who knows what he really thinks) that there is absolutely NOTHING "wrong" with him and no problems - but the rest of the world sures sees it! Rages at home, 2 school suspensions and a bunch of failing grades so far this year, fired from every part time job, in constant fights with his peers, etc.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 4:12pm
When my dd was firmly against taking meds we never ever told her that there was anything 'wrong' with her. We merely pointed out that some people are born with medical needs that require meds, such as me taking meds for my asthma and her grandparents taking insulin for thier diabetes. Likewise, we even pointed out people who have to wear glasses, etc...you get the idea. In particular, when we made the comparison with having to wear glasses, we pointed out that she might actually 'see' things differently with her meds...i.e., it may clear up some of that foggy thinking she had going at the time, such as her depression and anxiety, impulsive thinking and difficulty with her school work. It really did help her to see that taking meds for her issues was similar to those examples we had offered. I remember seeing the light go on over her head as we were talking about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 5:38pm
I may have given you the wrong impression.. I wouldn't tell my son there was anything "wrong" with him, either, but that is how her perceives it. He's very defensive and convinced that everyone is saying there is something the matter with him, even when they're not. However, I like your examples - and will use them with him. Just wanted to make sure that I didn't sound like a cold and heartless mom telling my kid he is a freak, LOL
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 8:26pm

No, I didn't think that at all - MY dd said that to ME at one point..."why does everyone think there is something wrong with me??" It broke my heart.

I just think that these kids tend to feel that way, that's why I said that. I have never gotten the impression that YOU would have said that to your son. When I wrote my post, I actually thought to myself, "gee, I hope she doesn't think that's what I got from her post". No, never.

I just know that when you're dealing with a child like this, it's a battle and they tend to read into every little thing we say and easily misinterpret what we're really trying to say to them. My dd has always had a hard time reading my cues or truly understanding the message behind my words, which is very typical of a kid with any level or type of disorder such as ADHD, TS, etc.

Many hugs, I know what you're up against.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 11:30am
Thanks - just being paranoid. But despite all that - check out my update post down below :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 11:36am
WELL THAT WENT WELL...NOT!! ooh boy - this is way beyond what I can deal with. I approached the topic in all the tactful, helpful, loving ways that I had rehearsed, and he totally blew up. I'm not kidding - went absolutely ballistic, accused me of wanting him to be "nothing but a stoned out zombie". He actually went into such a rage about it that he threw his own tv and playstation on the floor ....which, in my opinion, just proves that he NEEDS some medication. Oh yeah, apparently he doesn't "need" to go to counselling anymore, either. I'm pretty depressed today and thinking that I can't handle this much longer.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 12:54pm
I sent you a private email -

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