overweight daughter
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overweight daughter
| Wed, 01-31-2007 - 7:43am |
I have an overweight 15 year old daughter. It is hard to monitor her eating habits as she is at her dads most days for supper. She eats breakfast and lunch at school. She is very unorganized and has no will power. If she doesn't get control now, I'm afraid she'll end up with diabetes or some other health issues. She does take dance 4 nights a week, but she doesn't eat healthy. Not much vegies. I am thinking of sending her to a therapist as maybe there's an emotional thing going on. Any suggestions?

Try a nutritionist before a theropist. Knowlege is power and the key to success in anything you do.
stacy
A therapist could possibly make your DD think there is something WRONG with her. Personally, I think it is unwise. I agree 100% with the suggestion of a nutritionist, or something that can bring POSITIVE changes to your daughter and her choices in food.
I am significantly overweight......obese by ALL medical stadards. It is embarassing, and I am unsure of myself and fear that people won't like me because of my weight. By telling you this,I"m thinking IN TIME, maybe counseling would be in order for your DD to assist her in coping with some of the issues that surround being heavy--that she's loved, and has worth no matter what her 'shell' looks like. But not now. Don't let her think she needs therapy for it.
Weight and self image is a complex thing. Your daughter may lose weight on her own by just being an active teen--you know, once she drives, and is running around more, she may be more apt to drop some weight. Keeping her in dance, encourage her other attributes and talents and don't hound her for her weight.
Good luck!!
Shels
I definitely think that you should have your dd talk to a nutritionist, preferably one that specializes in eating disorders.
I'm kind of in your shoes here, so I can definitely relate! My 15yo DD was always very thin but has gained 15 or so pounds this year and she is aware of it, but so far, not doing much to change the pattern. Like your DD, if she keeps on at the rate she is going now, she will have a problem.
Then there's my almost 13yo DS, who was rather chubby for 3-4 years and is suddenly, very thin. I worried for years about him eating too much, too often and too much junk to worrying about him not eating enough. There is a fine line to walk when discussing food and diet issues with teenagers.
Can you approach this with your DD as a health issue? Talk to her about diabetes, heart disease, etc., the long-term affects of a poor diet and not so much about her weight.
You mention that your DD eats supper with her dad every night, but does she live with you? If so, have you considered having her eat breakfast at home, where you would have more control over what she ate? And also pack her a lunch, instead of having her buy it at school? Cafeteria food is notoriously bad for having an excess of sodium, fat, cholesterol and calories. A sandwich on whole-grain bread, a piece of fruit, yogurts -- anything but cafeteria food will be an improvement. I have always packed my DD and DS lunches -- pretty much since the 1st day they started school. That doesn't mean they haven't come home from school and binged on cookies, tho! But if your DD is eating healthily for two meals, it's a start.
There's a couple other perks to packing lunches -- it's easier on your pocketbook and your DD will feel that you're trying to help her change, rather than just telling her what she should be doing.
Also, do you have a good enough relationship w/ her father that you 2 could discuss what kind of food she is eating over there? My DSD (16) is very overweight. She is tall and just by her frame, I know she will never be skinny, but I feel bad that at her age she has to buy her jeans at Lane Bryant because she is over a size 15, therefore too large for the juniors dept. She ends up buying T shirts and sweatshirts in the men's dept. It's good that she doesn't like to dress up cause I think it would be difficult to find dress up clothes in her size that aren't for old ladies. On the other hand, my 17 yo DD is pretty slim, so I'm sure that must bother her too.
My DSD eats a lot of junk food and it's hard to monitor because I know she will sneak it. Even my DD has remarked "she never eats that much in front of us" However, her DF doesn't help at all. We have pretty normal meals, but he is notorious for eating a lot of junk himself, so he is the last one to encourage her to eat healthy. She does have gym in school but she told me kids can pretty do what they want. Right now in the winter, she's not getting other exercise, except walking to work 2 days a week, which is about 1/2 mile. When it's nice out, she likes to play basketball in the back yard, but it's more of shooting hoops, than the running you would get in a game. My DD used to be on the track team til she hurt her knee, then had to have surgery last summer. She is hoping to be doing spring track. Until then, she goes to the YMCA, but it's on a membership w/ her father.
I think in order not to make the child too self-conscious, it has to be more focused on keeping the whole family healthy and doing exercise together, at least that's what they say in the magazines.
Liz
Two years ago, my DD 15 was a 5'6", 200 lb 13 y/o wearing a size 18, and very unhappy with herself. A trip to our FNP (nurse practicioner) for a discussion of healthy eating habits and mom making a decision to quit keeping junk in the house was the start of a turn around. DD was eating healthy meals, and reasonably active, but all the chips, pop, and candy she ate between meals was really packing on the pounds. We now have carrots and cauliflower in the house for snacking, along with a fat free ranch dressing. Bananas, apples and oranges are on every grocery list. Our FNP saw DD every 6 months along the way, and today she is 5'8" tall and 135 lbs, wearing a size 8 jeans - mostly because she inherited her grandmother's hips (her dad's mother) and there is no way she's going to get that butt into anything smaller. A family nurse practicioner is trained in healthy living for the whole family, and ours has been a godsend!
I agree with foregoing the therapist right now, odds are that if DD had the appropraite information about healthy food choices, she would start to see the pounds come off. My DD was so encouraged by the first 15 lbs coming off that she started doing research on healthy eating on her own and has almost become a fanatic about healthy lifestyle issues.
Interesting aside - DD still stresses about "grandma's legacy" (her hips) from time to time... the other night her b/f T told her "your a$$ is just fine, do you think I want to pat a sack of bones?? You got a nice JLo butt!!" The past couple of days she's been looking at pics of JLo - just to see if there really is any comparison and has decided that a little curvy isn't a bad thing. Good thing - I was starting to get worried that I had a budding ED on my hands. I know it's nothing to joke about - but honestly, there have been days in the past 4 or 5 months that I was seriously concerned about the possibility.
Rose
Instead of assuming that the weight gain is due to bad eating habits, take the girl to her doctor FIRST. She should have a check-up.
Yes, I am well aware that it is normal for girls to gain weight when puberty rolls around. HOWEVER, a well-developed 15yo who has been menstruating for 3+ years can hardly be considered 'entering puberty'.
As her mother, I have first-hand knowledge of her eating habits and lifestyle, and thusly, am well qualified to speak on the subject of her weight gain and its direct correlation to what are most assuredly, bad eating habits.
Really? You think a 15 yo is still going through puberty and that packing on 15 lbs is "normal"?
Interesting.