Parents Of Sexually Active Teens Board To Go

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Parents Of Sexually Active Teens Board To Go
46
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 7:53pm

I know I'm guilty of inactivity- I got sick again, oops:smileywink: but I'm really sorry to see the availability of this board go. I just looked to see if anything is going on over there and that message was it.

Ya'know, actually no, you probably don't...but I was a volunteer

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 01-18-2011 - 11:52pm

I don't know the best solution. The section for troubled teens sounds good IF we can keep out "my child is perfect because I ______" condescending posts. And I don't believe that is possible.

I totally agree with this! I had been coming to POT for quite a few years when my DD became sexually active at 15 1/2 almost 4 years ago. I took a long time posting anything about that here, but took it PoSAT instead, because I'd seen way, way too many posts like "what the heck is WRONG with those parents who ________________" and didn't want to deal with it. Or the people who assume that just because a girl is having sex at 15, she has problems - my DD was not the stereotypical sexually active 15 y/o, and truth of the matter is... there is no such thing as a typical SA teen.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 9:03am
Sending hugs to you!!! So sorry to hear about S's trouble but maybe this will be the trigger that gets him to grow up. You can't help hoping that something will. It is hard to watch them screw up and I know what it is to be thankful for the fact that they "only ran down a road sign". That was my feeling when A smashed through 2 cement posts and destroyed the car. Thankfully, no one was hurt. It could have been so much worse due to their stupid & immature actions.

I agree with this board being the "brag board". I would lurk during those teen years of A's but lived on TT. I would feel so useless every time I visited this board because I was just happy if A was alive & in our home each day. Forgot the happy stuff like good grades & applying to college during those years. It was the support of the TT board that helped me realize that I was a good parent but had a son who did bad things. It helped me not give up on him when others were which was good because now he is trying so hard to be a good adult. We have discussed his teen actions a lot in the last year and he doesn't know why he made the choices he did. He resents them as they wasted so many years of his life but he also doesn't think I could have done anything different. He can head to the counselor at 40 & they can both then blame the Mom!.

Dee
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 9:07am
ITA - I'd love to see those boards or at least folders continue but there would have to be ground rules - I have often felt put out even on this board because no, ds18 is NOT at a top tier school and has never had stellar grades(since middle school anyway), but has strong drive to make it through college (at this point; last year I wasn't so sure!). But he still has his vices that I can't condone...

Sue
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:12pm

I'm with you...

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Avatar for cmdonnab
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2000
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 8:47am

Good morning!

I can totally understand where you're coming from on this. Would you be amenable to trying the folders, with ground rules for a support board/folders, and see how it goes?

Thanks for your candor! I appreciate you taking the time to give me your feelings on this.
Donna

 



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 10:22am
I know you didn't post this to me but I think the separate folders would at least be a start. I've been on both sides of the fence. My boys were fairly easy as young teens and I know I was guilty of shaking my head when I'd hear of other 13-15 year olds drinking/having sex/etc. I thought I had this whole parenting thing figured out - no child of MINE would ever dream of doing such a thing. And then Jason hit his senior year of high school and it seems like things went downhill from there. For me the older teen years (17-20) have been the toughest with both boys. Sure, there are some parents out there that are just bad parents. But I think the vast, vast majority of parents are trying to do the best they can with the tools and resources they have and I also now firmly believe there is no one way to parent all kids.

I sure do hope this board gets a cl soon - I hate to see it being an 'orphan'! It will always be near and dear to my heart!
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 4:12pm
In my home anyone who wants condoms just goes in the basket in the bathroom and gets them. I don't count so I have no idea exactly how many go missing but I know I have to replenish fairly often between my teenage sister, my brother and their friends that hang out here.

When my boys are old enough the condoms will still be in the same place.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 4:43pm
how do you send a private message on this new format?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 5:50pm
Up at the top right under links there's a 'my private messages'. Go there and then go to new message. Type in the person's user name that you want to send the message to and the subject (both required). Then type the message. I think there's another way to do it by clicking on the person's profile but I can't find it quickly.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 7:37pm
thanks. You're teh best but I am sure you already knew that
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