Parents using drugs with kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Parents using drugs with kids
12
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 6:12pm

I am not a parent, but I would like to get some advice from anyone offering it.

I am very close with my boyfriend's family, and I am becoming very worried. His family has 7 kids, and the youngest are a 16 year old girl and a 14 year old boy. The mother and father have always let their kids drink large amounts of alcohol and have parties with kids as young as 13 being at their house. However, this was just the beginning. The mother has begun using marijuana daily in front of her kids, and smokes with her sixteen year old daughter and her friends all the time. I have tried talking to the family and letting them know that I do not agree with what is going on, and I have spoken to the 16 year old girl trying to convince her that she is not leading in a good direction. I know that she looked up to me alot and would always come to me for advice, but now she is so far into using drugs that she does not care anymore.

I guess you can say I gave up a little, and I no longer goto my boyfriend's house because every time I'm there I am worried that some young kid at their parties is going to get alcohol poisoning, the neighbors are going to call the cops, someone is going to drink and drive, or just because I cannot stand being around people smoking marijuana.

The most disappointing thing that has happened is that my boyfriends sister and my younger brother know eachother from school and my brother was invited to a party over there. I couldn't believe it when my brother told me he went over there and saw my boyfriend's mom rolling a joint and smoking with some 14 and 15 year old kids.

I haven't talked to my boyfriend's mom in a couple of weeks (we were VERY close before) and I just don't know what to do anymore. I am so worried that they are going to end up in jail, or someone is going to get very sick and no one will be around that realizes these kids can make poor decisions and end up losing their life.

Does anyone have any advice about what I should do? I am so confused because I don't want them to think I am trying to parent their kids just because they don't care about them using drugs. As some of you are parents, please let me know if you have ever seen a similar situation or what you would do. Thank you!

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Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 7:21pm

It is here in CT - NOW. It never used to be but they've changed the law.

Can't say I agree with it. I think that if I allow my 19dd to have a wine cooler at dinner it should be up to me, not the law.

Drugs and excess alcohol use? That's another story - that wouldn't fly around here at all! I know many parents who smoke pot with their teens and I think it's disgusting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 8:06pm

Thanks for the correction. I didn't realize some states are enacting laws like that. I've let my 18 y.o. drink a beer at home. After a couple of times he didn't want anymore, thank goodness!

And I definitely agree with you about the parents smoking pot with their teens. The parents that also smoked with my son lied through their teeth, straight to my face, about it. When I confronted the mother, she blamed me for her lying! Because of *my* attitude about pot, she said!

In fact, I'm totally cool about pot. Just not with someone smoking it with my kid when he was a minor.

zz

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