Paying for college
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| Fri, 08-03-2007 - 11:14am |
Next year at this time we will be sending DD off to college. We are making campus visits, she has taken her ACT test, and has college and scholarship applications on her mind.
My question...how is your student's college bill being paid? H and I have been discussing this for years and now the time is here to make a decision and make it known to DD. We would like to help her, but we don't want college given to her and we don't want her to be overwhelmed with debt when she is finished. We believe she should put tremedous effort into scholarship applications (and have strongly encouraged her to do things that look good on her applications), however, we don't what her hopes dashed if she does not receive a lot of gift money.
DD will not be eligible for federal grants. Any government assistance will come in the form of a $3500 Stafford Loan. We thought we would give her $5000 per year which is about 1/3 of the budget for the school she plans to attend. She would be responsible for the rest through scholarships, working, and her savings. (We are hoping she will not opt for alternative loans or ask us to take out the parent loans).
I'm interested in other thoughts or philosophies on this subject.
Thanks....Julie

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We are not paying for our son's college education. It will be up to him to work his way through school. It's equally important that he not take on any student loans of any kind. We are discouraging him from borrowing money for any reason. He will have to work his way through school. It may take him longer to get his degree, but I'd much rather him take 7 or 8 years with a degree, a solid work ethic and be debt free, than to graduate in four with the financial burden of student loans and very little actual work experience.
stacy
Dear Stacy:
Do you realize that you are going to be severely limiting your DS's choice of a college? We are regular middle class people and we had to tell our DD that we would not be able to afford a private school w/ $40,000/yr. tuition, unless she really got great financial aid. We also didn't want her to be overburdened w/ loans. I know some young people who graduate w/ $100,000 in loans (mostly incl. grad school) and I tried to get the point across that if she didn't have a lot of loans, she could afford an apt. and a car, where the kids who have a lot of loans can only work to pay their loans and have to live at home w/ mom & dad forever (which neither of us wants).
So she is going to the state univ and living away from home (which we both want). The total cost is about $17,000. She got about $2300 in scholarships and the $3500 Stafford loan. Her dad & I are divorce and we are paying 1/2 each of the rest. If we couldn't afford it, she would have to take out more loans.
Now just w/ the Stafford loans, she will have about $20,000 in loans when she graduates, but she also plans to be a nurse and she will probably have a starting salary of at least $40,000 so I don't consider this to be a big burden to pay off. I had $20,000 in loans when I graduated in 1979 and I paid it off. I suppose it would be diff. if your DS really had no idea what he wanted to do or you felt he couldn't get a job when he graduated, but there are deferments.
I just think what would my DD do if we weren't willing to help her and she couldn't take out any loans (BTW, the financial aid apps. assume that students WILL take out the Stafford loan--they aren't going to give him more scholarships cause he doesn't want to have a loan). I suppose she could go to community college for 2 yrs and that would be pretty cheap, then she would have to tranfer to a 4-yr and she could commute from home to go to UMass in Boston where the tuition is only about $6,000 a year, but she didn't want to go there. Plus I don't want her at home until she's 30 cause she hasn't been able to graduate from college. lol
Has your DD been working and saving for college knowing that you wern't going to pay for college? You said it's time to make your intentions clear. I hope that she didn't think that you were paying for her education...it's kind of late for her to come up with that kind of money! Just my opinion
We will be paying for our childrens education. I fully understand when family's can't do that so they all work together, we just feel that it is part of our responsiblity and when we brought them into this world we made plans for savings for their educations.
Our parents did the same for us. DH went ended up going to the Naval Academy so his parents gave him his college savings when he got out
I know that many people look at this differently, but really...no one is wrong. It needs to be what you think is right.
Julie
We are probably in the same boat as you because we make too much money to qualify for a lot of financial aid, can't get the Pell grant.
Based on our experience of last year, the more expensive the school, the more scholarship money they give out. For ex., she applied to one small private college near home, where the tuition was $24,000 and she got a $12,000 scholarship (even before they got the FAFSA--it was based just on merit). DD was in the top 10% of the class, had high SATs, a reasonable amount of work and extra curr. experience. She got "free tuitiion" to any state college or univ. because of her grades on the test required to graduate from high school. That is really funny because of the strange formula they use, the "free tuition" part of UMass (which is where she is going) is only $1700 a year, where the fees (which we have to pay) are about $6,000, and that's not including room & board.
I have always heard that the Ivy Leagues will make sure that you have enough money to go there if they accept you. She didn't apply because they don't have nursing, so I have no first hand experience.
When we went to scholarship night, I was really amazed at how many scholarships the school gave out--we must have been there for 2 hrs. But a lot of these were set up in memory of people who had died, or were from various clubs, etc. so I think most of them were in the $500 to $1000 range. She got one that was $500, but some kids got more than one. I noticed that these were the real "stars" like the kid who is captain of 2 varsity teams, or the one who is the star of all the school plays, plus has an 800 on his Math SAT.
Someone directed me to fastweb.com, which is a clearinghouse for all kinds of scholarships. I note that a lot of them require essays and things like that. With all that she had to do w/ filling out the apps, doing the financial aid stuff, plus school work and a part-time job, we really didn't pursue that, but if you have time, at least look at that site. And good luck.
Sorry Julie,
DD has been aware all of her life that we will help her, but it will not be a free ride. She has about $8000 in a college fund that she can use and has a job. Knowing that she will be expected to pay part isn't a surpise to her. (It's just the how much we are struggling with).
I think that if she knows she is responsible for some of her college fees it will be more incentive to her to do volunteer work, get great grades, take challenging courses, and take on leadership roles in clubs, and then apply for scholarship money with good credentials.
IMHO, a totally free ride would not motivate DD to do her own work to achieve her life-goals. However not giving her enough help could cause her to give up on her goals as unattainable.
Julie
We’re in the same boat. Next year DD will be off to college. I set up a tax favorable college savings plan, which DD puts in one third of her earnings and I match.
We do about the same as your plan, with some exceptions. Here’s a few thoughts for what they’re worth…
I agree that college financing should not be “given” but participated in by the student. How much participation can we reasonably expect from a full time college student who has no education yet? Earning power is negligible.
The FAFSA system is puzzlement. A requirement before any college planning, yet the irony is, if you can afford a computer and an internet connection to complete this mess, you are ineligible for financial aid.
Grants and scholarships are wonderful… yet with some exceptions for talented athletes and those at the top of their class academically, the amounts usually are in the range of a few hundred dollars. It addresses the problem like a fly swatter on an elephant. Many may disagree, but frankly they’re not worth the time and headache.
OK. Rant over. Can you tell I have one kid finishing, and another one ready to start? lol.
I expect my kids to work part time to earn their books, incidental expenses and fun money. To expect more is just unrealistic with part time wages. How can they study and concentrate if they’re in the financial black hole?
I pay fees, room and board, and one third tuition. The balance is through a Key student loan that I must be a signature on, but they will be responsible for after graduation.
I’m not in favor of a private school for a college freshman for three reasons. First, most have no idea what their major is yet. Second, most of the course work is introductory in nature and can be accommodated by a state school. And third, we don’t really have a guarantee that college is going to be their cup of tea. It seems more cost effective to start in a state college, let them figure out what they actually want to concentrate in, and then transfer to a private college that concentrates in their field in their third year.
I agree, expecting them to handle this completely on their own is unrealistic.
My dd is starting her 2nd year of nursing. She is at a very small private college in Pennsylvania. Dh and I are unable to help at all due to years of illness in our family.
She has grants, state loans and a few small scholarships. She did have to take a couple of private loans.
From what we see here in PA, she should be able to get at least a portion of the state loans forgiven due to the nursing shortage in our state. They want them to stay here to work.
Also, most hospitals that she has spoke with offer some tuition reimbursement with a sign on.
She was very determined to to go school even with our financial situation and she is doing it. Where there is a will, there is a way!!
Andie
I paid for my entire university tuition on my own. When I was 14 my parents advised me that they were working class parents with a mortgage and living on a strict budget and that they could not afford to pay for university. They would allow me to continue to live at home, free, while I was at school but that I would have to pay for tuition, transportation to/from school, books, lunches out etc.
So, with that in mind I started summer jobs and saving money when I was 15. I worked every summer during high school and university, I worked weekends during the school year while in high school and I worked any extended holiday. I worked at retail stores, delis, office clerical work -- whatever I could find. I paid everything myself and had money left over and learned the value of a dollar very quickly.
I don't expect my daughter to do entirely the same thing although she is working this summer. She's working this summer to earn herself some pocket money so I am not stuck picking up the bill for every concert she goes to or cute top she wants to buy. But mainly I wanted her to learn about working and making money and next summer I want her to have a full time job. I've also told her I expect her to earn the marks necessary for entry scholarships and that I expect her to stop attending her competitive dance classes after this year (shes in grade 11) so that the money that would go towards those classes would be put into a plan for her school tuition.
We fortunately live in a big city with 3 major universities accessible by public transit. She will not be living away from home as we can't afford that. Tuition ranges anywhere from $4000 - $6000 depending on the program with additional costs for books and supplies. She'll have to get a computer of her own for sure (likely a MAC given the courses she's thinking of) which will add to that. So its not as bad as US tuition costs for attending universities away from home but still expensive. We expect her to cover about half her tuition and we will support her with the other half. I have another one 4 years younger right behind her that will have to be paid for as well....
You guys!!!! I was actually hoping for THE ONE RIGHT ANSWER!!!! Can't there ever be THE ONE RIGHT ANSWER????
I work for the financial aid office at a state university. It is my own personal opinion (I can't speak for the rest of my colleagues or anyone else for that matter) that it is most difficult for middle class families to afford college. As daddio indicated, all you have to do is have a computer capable of submitting the FAFSA and your EFC is too high to qualify for federal grants. Need-based scholarships and state grants are generally determined by the EFC from the FAFSA as well. We, along with our children, are left footing the entire bill--which is staggering. Of course there is loan money: a whopping $3500 Stafford, alternative and parent loans to meet the "need", and unlimited high-interest private loans. All of this money must be repaid by someone....still us or our children. Our only real hope is that our children are gifted enough or persistant enough to get some of the merit aid that we all know is there.
Thank you for letting me vent my frustration over being middle class today. This isn't my purpose today...but it felt kind of good after my hard day yesterday.
I am finding it very interesting, the diversity of opinions just within this group. It is giving me real hope that even though there isn't THE ONE RIGHT ANSWER, that my DD will be able to attend college whether I pay all, some or none of the bill. If this is truly what she wants, she will find a way.
Julie
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