PC Online Safety

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
PC Online Safety
12
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 11:29am

I recently found this website, and have been reading iVillage articles about Internet safety, cyberbullying, forum entries about Facebook panic buttons, etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
In reply to: mamadb
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 12:10pm

<<>>

I think that a bedroom door and a diary to write in is all the privacy that a teen needs. Certainly not on the internet where they could be accessing anything or talking to anyone (including middle-aged pervs who'd exploit them given the chance).

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
In reply to: mamadb
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 2:48pm
I feel the same way you do about the Internet and we have a program installed that filters for certain types of sites, puts time limits on each user, and gives reports. I think it is OK to mention product names here, and I would be interested in knowing what you are using and if you are satisfied with it. We use Parental Controls from Webroot, but they are no longer going to be supporting it starting this fall and I will be looking for something to replace it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
In reply to: mamadb
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 3:14pm

I use Mom & Dad's Eyes, LOL.

There is a computer in my DS'(13) room but it's not hooked up to the internet. He uses the one in the family room, and because of some porn surfing issues (already...sigh), that computer (well, all the computers save his, actually) are passworded, and he can only use the computer when we are available to supervise (so if we're in the room watching tv, he's free to use the computer...otherwise, it's *locked*).

We don't want to use a filtering program as that would restrict the adult's use of the internet and would be a PITA, in our opinion (or more of a pain than just being in the room with him while he does the internet thing).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
In reply to: mamadb
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 3:56pm

Bummer

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: mamadb
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 4:09pm
I did the same as Debbie. The computer was password locked, in a public room, and the kids could only get on when we were in the room with them. We also looked over their shoulder continuously. Back in those days we only had site filters, which we did not use for the same reasons Debbie stated. That's the same reason we didn't put parental restrictions on the TV. We simply disconnected the cable when we weren't home. Now that they have keystroke & IM copiers, I would probably use those, but only LOOK at them occasionally, if there gets to be too much secrecy, or I suspected some problem. That is the same philosophy I used with reading notes and journals. You have to respect your child to a certain degree, but we are still doing the job called parenting. Trust, but VERIFY. As my husband used to tell the kids: This is NOT a democracy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
In reply to: mamadb
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:41pm

Same here! My son, also, was getting into porn sites - at first he went into my dd's room and used her computer. She is the one who alerted me he was looking at the porn. Because of the sites he had gone to, her computer got messed up and I had to pay to have all the viruses removed. She changed her password and he didn't use it any more. Then he found my laptop and got on it. Once again, I had to pay to have all the viruses removed. I then put a password on both my laptop and my desktop. (Guess I had been

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: mamadb
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 1:23pm
Overstepping? Depends on how old your child is. I had web monitoring software on our computer when my kids were 16-17 and under... how much I monitored it depended on the kids' age and what else was going on in their lives at the time. To periodically monitor a 16 y/o's web activities is being a vigilant parent... to monitor an 18 y/o's web activities is overstepping *most of the time* IMO. Thanks to the current economy, my DS 25 is currently living with us, and there's no way on earth I'd consider monitoring *his* internet activity no matter what was going on in his life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
In reply to: mamadb
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 10:38am
Thanks to all for sharing your views.
Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
In reply to: mamadb
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 2:39pm
The internet is a public place. Children, regardless of age, do not need to be out in public, hiding from their parents. Parents have a responsibility to their children. It is not just a public place, but it goes everywhere, any where. Sending your child off on the internet, not having a clue where they are, is like allowing inner cities, bars, brothels, anything. A decent parent would have limits on where their child can go when they leave the house. They would have standards too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
In reply to: mamadb
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 10:34am

I am only 22 and I don't have children, but I saw this on the homepage and wanted to comment. I don't think that using a monitoring program is infringing on a teenager's privacy. Now, if you were reading their diaries or listening in on phone conversations without any reason to, then that would be a privacy issue (I had friends in high school who's parents did these sorts of things). I would just make sure that your kids know that the program in on the computer - that way they don't feel that you are just trying to "catch" them doing something wrong. They may feel that you don't trust them, which (depending on your relationship with your child) could hurt them. I know it would have hurt me deeply, when I was a teenager, to feel that my mom didn't trust me. Just let them know that this is to protect them, not to get them in any trouble.

Things are a little different now than when I was in high school. We didn't have Myspace and Facebook. There was only chat rooms and instant messenger. And parents were not that "computer savvy." At least, my mom wasn't. She knew how to check the computer history - but if my brother and I wanted to delete the history, then she wouldn't have known anything. It was the same way with my friends. I actually willingly gave my mom my passwords to my instant messenger and email account - but I know most teenagers wouldn't.

There are things out there that teenagers do not need to be exposed to. When I was 13, a friend of mine regularly went into chat rooms. She met some guy in there and begged me to add him to my instant messenger so that she could talk to him while she was at my home (she didn't have the internet). So when I would get online, he started talking to me as well. At first, I felt uncomfortable talking to him - but felt guilty about ignoring his messages (blah blah blah). He "said" that he was 21 and had cerebral palsy. I had never met anyone with a disability - so we would chat every now and then about that. Eventually, (because I was 13) I felt like he was my friend. He never said or did anything creepy. He talked to me about all my little junior high problems (friends, boyfriend, etc.). I wouldn't talk to him all that often, maybe once or twice a week for a couple minutes. But we carried on this "friendship" for about three years. My mom knew about it, but I never gave her any indication that it was a serious friendship - because I didn't think that it was. He was just some guy on my instant messenger who lived in Canada. He even added my boyfriend (at the time) as a friend and started talking to him.

Then, when I was about 16, he started saying things like he was going to make a trip to the U.S. to visit his girlfriend who moved to Texas and wanted to meet me. I kept telling him that this was not a good idea. I didn't want to meet anyone that I didn't know. He argued that I did know him, etc. He became so pushy with the subject that I blocked and deleted him from my messenger. Afterward, he got really weird. He would email me apologizing and begging to talk to me. He instant messaged and emailed my friends asking where I was and if they could get me to talk to him. He started talking more and more to one of my friends. And even though I warned her about him, she carried on conversations with him until he was pulling the same thing with her. He even flew into a rage at one point and instant messaged my boyfriend that he "didn't deserve me" and I needed "an older man to keep me safe from high school boys."

I shudder to think what could have happened had I been more trusting and actually told him my personal information. I wasn't ever upset about losing him as a "friend." But I was upset that I had been so naive.

My roommate in college told me that when she was 17, she sent naked pictures to some guy she met online, and then they ended up passed around the internet. She was devastated, even years later.

I can't imagine going through that now with the personal information that is freely floating around out there. Myspace, facebook, etc. are great, but you can be sure that when I have children, they will not be allowed complete privacy on the internet. They just don't understand yet that every action has a consequence, even from behind the "privacy" of their computer.




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Milford Sound in New Zealand
Milford Sound in New Zealand
Milford Sound in New Zealand
Milford Sound in New Zealand

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