Piercing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Piercing
27
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:14am

My DS17 pierced his ear.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:48am
As gross as this is to you, I'm afraid it's pretty common. It's nothing new...Kids pierce their own "everythings", they think they are indestructible. Fortunately, a single piercing can be healed closed at any time. It's when they start expanding the size of the hole, I forget what it's called, that it can permanently mar their appearance. I let my son pierce his ear in the 6th grade. It lasted for about a year and he let it close, just a fad. My DD's have been asking for some time to pierce their belly buttons. I just kept saying

 

Avatar for amexia2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:51am

The bright side of things:

1. It was his ear, not his eyebrow, lip, nose, nipple or anything more extreme than that. He can remove an earring for a job interview or other occasions where it may not be appropriate and, unless someone is paying way too much attention to his lobe, the hole won't be noticible. Nor will the scar, if/when he decides he's tired of the look.

2. It is an earring. Not a tattoo. Much easier to cover up, much smaller scar, less likelihood of true regret.

Now, my 2 cents to use or toss as you see fit:

1. He's already made this decision. Getting in a further struggle with him about it at this point may very well be fruitless.

2. Hopefully his friends that were with him have informed him of the proper way of caring for a new piercing. If not, then that is one way you can step in and be involved now in this decision he's already made. Ask him if he's purchased some solution to clean the piercing with and if he knows how often he needs to clean it. Ask him if he's twisting it to keep it from getting stuck, if he knows how long he needs to keep the earring in, what to do if it gets infected, what the signs of infection are (my experience is that home piercings usually do get infected... generally you can clear the infection up fairly easily, but not always).

Hope this helps.

-Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:57am

Well, I understand how you feel about this because I'd have pretty strong feelings about it too. But he IS 17, so pretty soon his body will be "his" anyway. And believe it or not, when I was a kid, my friend's mother pierced my ears with a hat pin too....however, for various reasons, they closed up and I ended up having to get them pierced two more times before it actually worked for me! (The other times were not done by pins, LOL.)


As another poster said, it could be worse....


EJ


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:58am

I am so ANGRY that he did it after I told him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that he couldn't get his ear pierced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:07am

I have mixed feelings about letting him keep it..............first, I'm angry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:29am

I actually don't mind ear piercings on boys.

 

 

 

Avatar for amexia2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:35am

"Ok, any ideas on how to back down from my original demand that he take the earring out, return it to whomever gave it to him, and let the ear close?"

My idea (just an idea)... Level with him about it. Don't address it until you're in a calmer frame of mind. And even then, only with compassion.

He is, after all, very nearly an adult. It is his body, and soon it will be solely his responsibility. Yet, he is your kid and you will always love him. Explain to him why you freaked. That you want what's best for him. That you love him. Explain that those are the main reasons for your reaction. That you reacted out of anger, and that, out of love.

Let him know how hard it is to transition from being the parent of a child to being the parent of a young adult. That you're still learning how to do this, too. That you're in this together.

And do let him know that you've noticed the great strides he's been making over the past year and that you're happy with how much he's rebuilt his trust with you.

Open the door for him with honesty and give him the chance to walk through. He needs you now more than ever and it's too important to get left behind over a power struggle about an earring.

Offer to take him to buy some cleaning solution for the earring and offer tips on how to keep the wound healthy. Make him pay for the solution and take responsibility for the cleaning... The point is not a total about face from your decision, it's simply saying - ok, since you've made this decision and have indicated that you feel strongly about your right to make it, I am going to offer guidance as to how to deal with it responsibly.

-Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:46am

I don't mind ear

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:50am

<>


Of course that's the reason why!

 

 

 

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: shels2003
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:56am

The legal age for ear piercing around here is 16 and piercing in general has become so prevalent that it doesn't phaze many anymore.


IMVHO, I think you're over reacting to this. And writing a letter to his DR? I

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