Please help..16yr old ODD/won't talk
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Please help..16yr old ODD/won't talk
| Wed, 05-24-2006 - 10:40pm |
My son (16) has ODD/ADHD and we are having a lot of difficulty
with him now. He is taking Wellbutrin and Adderall. He is being
very agrumentive and he gets upset very easily. He is arguing with
us, lossing his temper, angry and resentfull. He is expressing
vindictive behavior, and often blames others for his mistakes. He
is very easily annoyed, has NO friends, and will not communicate
to others. We are having a heck of a time...
Can anyone help us? I can't take it anymore. Thought of
military school, but can't afford it. He isn't in trouble
with any police or anything. Just we can't take the fighting
anymore. His 18 year old sister wants to move out because
she can't take it anymore.
Thanks in advance.

Have you worked with a counselor? So often, counselors can offer ideas and suggestions that we just don't see as we are way too close to the situation. A counselor might also be able to offer your daughter skills/ideas that help her not be so angry at the behavior of her brother.
My daughter is 16. We go for a walk almost every day. It gives us time to talk when the phone isn't ringing, the computer is not with us etc.
What does your son like? Can you spend some time each day side by side doing whatever it is he likes? I only have girls and so I only know where we spend time. We used to go almost every weekend to the animal shelter and walk dogs. We all love dogs and this gave us an hour of great time together. Both of my kids love COSTCO. I almost always can use something there, so we tend to go there about once a week and just walk, talk and browse. We have a weekend art fair here. We tend to go once a month or so. My older daughter and I hit the garage sales once a month. These are just all opportunities to spend some quality time together where we can talk.
Hope that helps a bit.
Audrey :)
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Audrey :)
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Sounds like his ODD is taking a good hold right now. Have you talked to the pdoc concerning a possible change in his medication?
stacy
ps - Children's services has refused to medicat my foster son. They've tried and he won't co-operate, so they've given up. But I can see from your post that medication isn't a magic bullet solution, so that actually makes me feel a bit better.
My now 21 y/o DFS S probably has had a label of ODD... he sure got into enough trouble and had a quick enough temper with authority figures as a teen to warrent it, but his caseworkers never chose to share that info with me.
Have you tried other ADHD meds other than Adderall? I've done alot of research, and it comes up again and again about Adderall and anger issues much more than the other meds. Just a thought.
Lisa
I wish I could send you some Magic Dust to make this go away but it takes alot of time and patience. My youngest DD is ADD and went through a very rebellious argumentative time and it was very difficult. One thing I learned was that I had control over how I reacted to her behavior and she often fed off of my reactions. So when I wouldn't react argumentatively back she eventually learned that it didn't do any good. That's not to say she doesn't have her moments but they are much, much less now than before. When I had something serious to discuss with her, I would simply tell her that I expected her to listen and let me finish before she spoke. If she interrupted me, the discussion ended right then. I also asked her to think before she spoke even if that meant we had to finish the conversation later. There were many, many times that I would just tell her you are getting upset so we'll do this later and I walked away. She evenutally got the message and now we can discuss most things. Occassionally, we talk through e-mail or letters so that emotions don't run high but you have to be very careful with this - misinterpretations can cause more problems than the letters fix.
At first this frustrated the heck out of her b/c she couldn't push my buttons anymore and keep whining until she got her way but I think now she understands the value of actually talking vs arguing.
I hope this helps!