Policy on "dates" for formal dances

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Policy on "dates" for formal dances
3
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 1:45am
I know that most of you have the "no dating until you're 16" policy. My husband is so conservative that I don't think DD will get to go on 1:1 dates until college.

That said, I almost fell out of my chair tonight when DD (age 14, freshman) was invited to another HS's homecoming dance and when she asked her Dad, he reacted as though he is considering letting her go. In fact, from his reaction, I will be surprised if he does not let her go.

Do most of you consider this a "date"? There's also a formal dance coming up in December at DD's all-girl HS where they will have to invite a boy. Maybe I'm nuts, but to me these are just formal party events and don't seem in the same category as letting your daughter go out to dinner and a movie 1:1 w/a boy, which she would not be allowed to do.

Also, the boy that asked her is someone she's known for two years from her summer camp and she is only interested in him as a friend. He's also a freshman.

If we do let her go, what is the usual protocol? Do I call his mom and discuss logistics? Would his parents drive them to the dance? Our family and his will be at the same Cross Country meet this Saturday, so I thought we could meet briefly there.

Suggestions? Opinions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 9:28am

This happened last year for us.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 9:32am
Also, the boy that asked her is someone she's known for two years from her summer camp and she is only interested in him as a friend. He's also a freshman.

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They are both freshman? I'd make sure they were going in a group and if they were, after checking on who is driving them (I'd even offer to drive) I'd let her go as long as it were a *group thing. I'd also make her come right home afterwards.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 5:37pm
I think that the relationship between the boy and girl comes into play. If he was someone that she was romantically interested in then I might feel differently than with "just a friend". Do you know if this boy's interest in your dd is purely platonic also?

That concern aside, your dd would be the equivalent of an "escort". I would probably let her go to this event, especially if they will be part of a group. Does your dd know other kids that attend that school?

If you're going to start letting her go to these dances, kiss your budget goodbye!;o) Have you looked at the price tags on the dresses? I got off easier because my dd didn't start as young as your dd! Luckily Macy's usually puts the Juniors formals on sale in early November so watch for the ads!