Poll: do you monitor your kids/teens text messages?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2011
Poll: do you monitor your kids/teens text messages?
14
Sun, 11-27-2011 - 9:01pm
Hello!
I introduced myself last week, I'm new to this forum. I'm curious, do you monitor incoming and outgoing text messages? If so, how do you do it, and how often? If not, how come?
Everyone has their own philosophy and what works for their family, and I'm just curious what your thoughts are.
Thanks! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011

I am new here too!

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

My kids did not have private cell phones, smart phones, Ipads, notebooks, laptops, etc until they had jobs and could afford to BOTH buy it and pay for ALL the services, themselves -- i.e.16/17.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

My boys are a bit older; cell phones weren't as prevelant when they were young teens. They each got one when they turned 16 and were driving so they could get hold of us in emergencies. To be honest I'm not even sure if the early ones had texting. I did, however, monitor their AIM conversations, livejournal, etc. Not every single conversation but if I feel that their actions/attitudes warrented it. We even put a key logger on the computer when older ds was going through his wild phase his senior year, which was how we found out about some of his shenanigans. If my boys were young teens now and had cell phones I wouldn't have any qualms about periodically checking texts and confiscating the phone if it was used inappropriately. I see cell phones more of a luxury than a 'must have' for kids, even now days.

Pam
Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998

I don't read DD 14's

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I've never checked (I have a 22 yr old DD & 16 yr old DS).

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
DS19 is an adult and away at school, so no, but I didn't when he was home either - he didn't really have texting til he was a junior in HS (and he payed for it, not me, as I didn't see it as necessary as long as I could call him - I do pay for the monthly phone portion so that I can reach him if needed). A friend of his got caught with some nasty words on his cell and the dad was calling the parents he texted to tell them, so I think that scared ds into shaping up for a while there, language-wise. But no, never saw the need - my parents never monitored me when I made calls as a teen, and I felt the same privacy was warranted for ds. It's not like texting would've been the only way to get in trouble.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008

Hi there again:smileyhappy:

Texting wasen't an issue for us because my kids didn't have cell phones, I DID heavily monitor their computer usage though. The older 2 are now 25 and 22, youngest still home with me just turned 17 on "Black Friday", all girls. I think my 17 is the only kid in her whole school that dosen't have and never had a cell phone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2011

Hey musiclover12, suzyk2118 and kjdill,

Thanks for your replies, I appreciate your responses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1999

I do scroll through from time to time to see who the messages are from/to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2011
Interesting - how do you program the cell phones to not send/receive after 10pm? I like that!

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