Pornography
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Pornography
| Thu, 08-24-2006 - 2:08pm |
My mother called me today, and was so upset she was in tears. She discovered that my 13 year old brother was surfing porn on the internet and was crushed.Not only that but was trying to experiment with my little sister who is 5. At first when I heard what he tried to do with my sister (I am my little sister's bodyguard/protector) I nearly exploded. But I've calmed down and realized and understand that much of this is normal for a boy his age. He is now banned from the internet, and all trust with him is gone. I feel terrible and would like some coucil as to how I can do or find some suggestions as to how my brother can recover or control his feelings and emotions. Please respond.
Thanks so much
Thanks so much

Go visit this website and pose your question there - you will find many people there who have dealt with porn and it's negative effects and gain lots of support and understanding.
IMO, counseling will be mandatory along with removal of the internet. At 13, and in this day and age, your brother is old enough to know it's wrong to touch his 5 y/o sister. The introduction of internet porn at your brother's young age is really dangerous. When we were kids, there wasn't internet porn - it was all pinups and mags and the raunchy ones were not easily available. Times have changed and the availability and acceptability of porn has skyrocketed. Get a counselor for yourself so you can better help your mom, brother and sister. Hugs.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psfamporn?redirCnt=1
I have been the little sister in this scenario and she is so lucky to have someone on her side. To this day I haven't told my parents what happened to me b/c my brother is their child too and I couldn't hurt them in that way. I was older (around 7) and he was around 14 or 15 when this began and I guess I was around 15 when it ended. My brother was very addicted to porn. He also had a drug and alcohol problem that contributed to this. I'm not making excuses for him - he knew this was wrong and he is Living with the consequences still to this day.
Please be sure and reassure your little sister that she did nothing wrong and also hug your brother and tell him you still love him. The youth director at our church recently talked with the youth about his addiction to internet porn when he was 13 - 15 and he said his self-esteem was so low b/c of this. He couldn't tell his parents or anyone and he felt that he wasn't strong enough to fight it alone. He knew it was wrong but it was an addiction and so very hard to fight. Let your younger brother know that he's not alone and you and your mom will fight this battle with him. His recovery will be so much more effective and quick if he has you guys on his side.
In the meantime, remove all access to computers from him. Ask appropriate but discrete questions about internet usage at school. Also don't allow him to visit friends for a while b/c they may internet in their rooms and chances are they are viewing this stuff too. It would be best to make sure that your sister is never alone with him for a while. If possible let her or your brother move in with you for a few months. Don't even let her ride in the backseat of the car with him (this was a favorite spot of my brother's to molest me).
I can speak from experience that your family will come out of this stronger and closer than you were before. Please give your mom a hug too - she's blaming herself right now and she needs all the support she can get. And I haven't forgotten you - ask your bestfriend or DH or b/f or whoever to give you a good hug. You don't need to tell them why but you need to know that someone is caring for you as well.
Please let us know how this goes.