Pot problem...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Pot problem...
5
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 4:03pm
Okay, I am severely lost at this moment. I have a 16 yo that I just love with all of my heart. I need that to be known first. He has a major problem with smoking pot. We had got him (or thought we had) off of it for awhile but he keeps going back to it. First let me explain about the town we live in. We live in a very small town in West Texas. There is nothing for them here but football,athletics,or band. Now do not get me wrong those are wonderful things for other kids but my son tried all of those things and it is just not him, he did not fit in. He likes to skateboard but our town does not allow these kids to skateboard anywhere. I have gone to our mayor,city officals, and other numerous people to possibly build a skatepark or something where the kids that do not belong in athlethics or band could go and have something to do. I personally do not have the funds to do this. I get turned down time and time again saying it brings in the "wrong kind of crowd" or the kids would get hurt and we would be liable. But in a neighboring town they have a wonderful skatepark and it works wonderfully! We now have a multimillion dollar rodeo arena with a expensive parking lot. I have nothing wrong with that either. I have offered to raise funds for this project... cannot get a permit or something else comes up. Okay, so boredom comes into play here. That can be one of the things that is a factor for this addiction. I have found out through myspace that a few of his friends are also smoking. So, we now have him grounded to the house and not allowed to talk,see, e-mail,anything with these people. I am planning on calling our insurance provider to find a counselor and help through this. My husband and I thought we could help him through the addiction part ourselves but it is not working. He is a great young man, he is intelligent,sweet (when he is not doing this),caring, alot of wonderful things more than bad things. I love him so much and I do not want him to turn out like some of the "burnouts" I see here. I'm sorry, I am rambling and venting now. I just want to know if there are any other parents out there that have been in the same situation and how did they get through this? What helped? What do we do now? We have got him involved in different church activities but it turns out the same, people judge him like they judge us. People are very cruel and even though it says in the bible "Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged" there are many hypocrits here. I am very cynicle ( spelling bad..lol). Guys, I am so lost. Please if there are any parents out there that can relate to this and have gotten through this please help. Oh, and I am also homeschooling my son this year until he gets into this other school in a neighboring town. Another long story... Thank you so much for letting me vent and cry a little...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 5:15pm

Hugs to you meanmom!

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:51am

I am not from a small town, but I do understand what you mean about people judging others by their look and activities. It is the same where we live. The kids here just build their own ramps and take them out in the street or a parking lot. We don't have a "public" scateboarding park, but do have some that are privately owned.

I agree with Rose that getting some counseling help would be the best thing. Not just for him, but for the whole family. This is something that is affecting all of you not just him. I don't have personal experience with this problem, so I really don't have any other words of wisdom. Just hang in there Mom, keep trying and keep letting him know how much you care. That may not get him to stay off the pot, but at least he will know you are there for him.

Come back and keep us updated, feel free to vent or ask questions any time.
Kristie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:52am

>>He is a great young man, he is intelligent, sweet (when he is not doing this), caring, a lot of wonderful things more than bad things.<<

So what's the problem, really? Are his grades being affected by his marijuana use? Is it affecting his mood or personality in a negative manner? Not everyone who smokes pot is a "burnout" (in fact, there's a current discussion about this very subject on the Hot Debates Board; you might want to check it out).

My "confrontation" with my parents over pot:

Me: "Mom, Dad, I smoke pot."
Dad: "Yeah, we know."
Me: "..."

And that was that. If your son is doing well in school, and is otherwise well-adjusted, I wouldn't worry about the pot too much. I also wouldn't send him to counseling. I WOULD, however, stress the legal ramifications of possessing (or distributing) marijuana.

Oh, and before someone slams you with a bunch of anti-marijuana rhetoric:

Nixon ignores National Commission's recommendation to decriminalize marijauana:

http://www.aclu.org/drugpolicy/medmarijuana/10851res20001115.html

(Above link also provides a link to a 1999 study conducted by the National Academy of Science, disproving the "false and unsubstantiated" ill effects of marijuana).

On marijuana and lung cancer:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/25/AR2006052501729_pf.html

On cannabinoid receptors (yes, we have receptors specifically to receive THC):

http://www.nida.nih.gov/MeetSum/Cannabinoids.html




Edited 8/29/2007 4:29 am ET by bohemian_siren
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 9:46am
Thank you for your help and positive view of "skaters". He sounds like a great guy! I get so mad when kids are judged purely by appearance. I wonder what those same people looked like when they were in school?!lol Hey, I was an 80's punk rocker (oh, its alternative now or is it EMO?!lol)and I was raised in this same town and back then I was judged but everyone knew my parents and then just talked to me to know I was not that scary... But, thank you for some words of encouragement. I still to some extent do like my town but I just would like something for all of these kids to do. Sometimes all I need is a kind word and someone just to say hang in there its going to work out. From one small town chick to another thank you for listening!
Meanmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:39am
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, I just love him so much. The kids and some of us parents here, built their own portable skatepark. For a little bit had someplace to skate and hang out but the city made them take it all down. The people across from where they were skating complained that the kids were too wild and was worried that their property might be damaged. The "portable park" was no where near their property. The police said that they cannot block a street or sidewalk or they would be ticketed. So, I am in the midst of saving some money and getting some parents maybe to pitch in to buy a vacant lot and work together and build our own skatepark. I think if these kiddoes would learn responsibilty by taking care of the park themselves with the help of us parents. Maybe by bonding through this would help my situation. I am just so thankful that we have this place to just vent and get some good advice and good people to help. He is doing okay just very angry that he is grounded. We are in the midst of working with our insurance people to find the right kind of counselor. My son and I have been talking about the problems smoking pot and the legal ramifications of what happens if he is caught. I just do not understand, he knows some guys who were caught with and some other of his friends in a vehicle with someone who had some in the car that got into serious trouble. He wants to go to college for an Art Degree and I heard that if you have any drug charges on your record you cannot get financial assistance with college. I want him to be able to achieve his dreams and work where he wants to. To realize that there is a big wide open world out there that he can travel and learn outside of small town,Texas. Its the dream of every parent to have your child have a better life. Thank you for listening. I appreciate the words of encouragement and the kindness you have shown me. I will keep ya'll posted on how things are going. Thank you.
Meanmom