Preparing kids for the future

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Preparing kids for the future
4
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 10:46pm

The title is serious but this was a funny conversation w/ 16 yr old DS.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 10:52pm
<<<-I asked why her parents allowed her to do that & he said they are horrible parents--they really just don't supervise what she is doing.>>> Surprise, surprise--kids really DO crave and appreciate supervision and boundaries. I always found it gratifying when my kids voiced the same kinds of things about the friends who ruled the roost over the parents.
But those failings are not limited to parents without college educations. Around here, it's mostly the well educated, well off, head in the sand parents, who just assume that since they talked about it, Jr won't knock up his gf when he takes her to his bedroom and closes the door. Or that their darling isn't driving that Camero they just gave her, with no curfew, to go score coke.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 12:05pm

He's a funny kid--wise beyond his years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 11:10am

My girls, too, knew in utero that college was their only option after high school!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 8:48am

Like your ds our boys were probably in their early teens before they realized that a 4 year college wasn't just part of the required schooling everyone went through. We both went to college (although dh did 4 years in the army right out of h.s. before going to college). Probably because our assumption always was that the boys would go right on to college after high school is why we let Justin go away that first year. In hindsight we should have made him do CC for at least a year. It's not that he didn't have the aptitude - he is probably every bit as 'smart' as Jason - but he didn't have the focus/maturity/dedication. And we could see that in high school but let him go off to college anyway thinking that the maturity would kick in, that he'd be around other hard-working college kids. Instead he gravitated to the party group and although he did decently 1st semester, 2nd semester was a complete diaster. Community college wasn't much better a year later. For one thing, like your nephews, he just doesn't really know what he wants to do. I do see signs of maturity kicking in, though (finally at age 21!) After working full time for almost 6 months he's talking about going back to school in the fall but realizes that he's going to have to have a plan/focus/etc. if he wants to succeed. Your ds seems very mature and I'm sure he'll be ready when the time comes.

Pam