Principal Called - What would you Do?
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| Tue, 03-07-2006 - 4:34pm |
I just got a call from the principal at my dd14's middle school. Apparently she has allowed students to write on her jeans, and one thing written was "my butt" right on her butt. I had asked what was written because I wanted to know if there was anything inappropriate such as racial slurs, etc. The conversation was "short and sweet" because here I am at work. Dd is changing into her PE clothes for the remainder of the day. The principal was concerned about the inappropriateness and "sexual harassment" issues. I didn't get any details such as to who wrote this on her butt, where and most importantly when? A co-worker wants me to get on the school's case about inappropriate supervision and whether or not my dd is safe in the school environment.
Dh wants to ground dd. Sigh. I want to have a talk with her about letting anyone touch her behind. What would you do?

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;)
In all honesty, "butt" wouldn't catch a whole lot of notice from Greg either... except the rules he was hired to enforce are pretty explicit about "messages that imply drugs, alcohol, sex or violence on clothing." The school admin doesn't make these rules, the school board does... one of the down sides of being in a town under 5,000 is that the school board tends to be made up of people who have grandchildren in elementary school, and sometimes have lost sight of what is really going on with our high schoolers.
Rose
I'm a little late chiming in here, but I'm not so sure what the big deal about the word "butt" is. In the words of both DD and DS, there are much worse things being said on middle school campuses than that. What about those short-shorts out there that have words like "sexy" and "hottie" written across the butt? Those are far more offensive, imo.
I remember DD coming home plenty of times with writing on her pants, arms, legs, etc. I think this is just something that kids that age do when they're bored.
The one thing about dress codes that gets me really hot and bothered is that they seem to be kinda-sorta enforced maybe some of the time, by maybe only a handful of staff members when the mood strikes. I'd bet that your DD is not the first student at that school who let his/her friends write on her jeans.
Aside from doling out a punishment suitable for her ruining a good pair of jeans, (assuming that the ink does not launder out) and reminding her in your best toddler voice that pens are for paper, not for walls or clothing, I'd let it go. There is just too much garbage that goes on in middle school and I know your DD has had to deal with quite a bit of that already this year. This seems totally innocent, to me.
Just my 2 cents ...
Jules
I wanted to update everybody. When dd got in the car in her PE sweats she said, "This is the worst day of my life." I agree that the whole thing was blown entirely out of proportion and I can't believe I actually got a call from the principal over this! Believe me, she has worse problems at that school! Dd's side of the story:
One of her friends was having people sign her jeans in art class. DD decided, after considering that she was wearing an old pair of jeans that are falling part, that she'd like to do that too. The teachers apparently had no problem with this as apparently it was done without disrupting class time. Then came lunch time. Two of her girlfriends asked if they could sign her butt. Silly teenage girl stuff. Of course dd didn't know what they were writing (we had a talk about this, but actually these were her friends whom presumably she trusts - ahem). The principal (a new principal by the way who is spreading her wings)saw them writing on her butt and asked them to stop, which they did. But a few minutes later the friend wanted to "fill in" and finish what she had written - which she did, and was caught by the principal. The two girls who had writing on their pants were called in to the P, not also the ones who were writing (IMO a mistake). That's when I received the call. The P. was actually difficult for me to understand - she said, "We have a zero tolerance policy on sexual harrasment." Huh? "This is inappropriate and we have to worry about the boys." What? As I said, I was at work so decided to call her back. I still have not talked to her directly as we kept missing each other. I think the whole thing is ridiculous. I really stand by my dd, although dh really went overboard in trying to explain the choices dd was making in allowing someone to write on her butt, etc.
One of the things my dd did mention is how girls wear pants to school all the time with things written on their butt, like "cheerleader". I've seen the "juicy" pants too, but don't know if anyone has worn them to her school. I agree that "butt" is not an objectionable word, and everything over here in California has gone so overboard PC in the schools that we are really stepping into the surreal.
Thanks again for all your replies and support. I'll let you know what the P says once I finally connect with me, but she's going to get an earful from me!
Hi,
What concerns me is grouping "My butt" with the very real and unambigious world of sexual harassment. To say this is SH insults those who really are experiencing it. YIKES, PC just goes too far!
My 2c, I would not replace those pants. Just take them out of circulation and now she has less clothes so be it. Plus I would add the guilt bit about expected behaviors. That should be punishment enough. Betty
You are so right - I never considered it this way, and I'm going to bring that up to the P. when I finally do connect with her (I think she's avoiding me, imo). Thanks!
The principal said, "We have a strict sexual harassment policy." In addition, she considered it inappropriate. But I'm with you: I think "juicy" and "tasty" are far more inappropriate. DD says she sees girls wearing pants that have stuff written on all the time. I would have felt differently if it were a boy writing on it, as if claiming it, etc. But it was two of her silly girlfriends. I think the P was ridiculous to consider this sexual harassment, I just don't get it. I keep trying to connect with her but now she's avoiding me....
She has alot worse to deal with - but I guess its easier to call the parents of precocious teenage girls about silly stuff than it is to call the parents of the kids who are caught smoking (the silly cigarretes) on school property and who start ratting on their "dealer". She's probably afraid of them anyway. Yeah, she has that to deal with and she calls me about a pair of pants...go figure.
You're so right about my co-worker - she's really "out there" and most issues, and of course she doesn't have teens. Her whole thing was that she wanted to shift the blame to the school so that they'd be worried I would sue, etc.
And dd wasn't grounded.
Sue,
I'm out here in California where the kids are also pretty edgy, although we do live in a small community. But "butt" doesn't catch the attention of anyone around here, only an over zealous new principal throwing her weight around.
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