a problem daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
a problem daughter
4
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:08pm
i have a daughter who has just turned 14 she has always been hard work but reaching 14 seems to have turn on a switch. she has a crimimal record for beating another girl up (she got that till she is 17). She has started drinking and coming home when she feels like it drunk , she is smoking even though she knows the dangers with her having asthma. she is also stealing money fags etc.. beating up on her younger brother who is 12. she has also got a knife out to him and threathened to stab him .she has an attitude to everyone like "u cant tell me what to do" and she dont care who it is. she also wished her grandad was dead because something just wasnt going the way she wanted it to .she is also disruptive in school swearing and threatening the teachers. but she is a very bright girl, top in all her lessons with very good grades. i have grounded her stopped her pocket money but this has just made matters worse. im at my wits end with what to do she is distroying the family and im scared she could do some real harm to any one of us can anyone help please!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 6:00pm
You must be hurting badly. You're fortunate that she is doing well in school despite all the other problems. Has she or your family received psychological services at all? If your insurance does not cover it, you should be able to get the services through a county- or state-funded program. When my DS17 got in trouble, I think the psychologist helped him accept himself and gave DS ideas about how to improve. I don't think any of us here could handle a troubled child like your DS without the help of a professional. If you have already tried that and it seems it's not helping, I'd suggest you change therapists; and if you've already tried that, all I can offer is cyberhugs and prayers.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 6:11pm
I'm sorry things are so rough with your DD, have you considered family counseling? Not just individual counseling for your DD, but also for the whole family. Not only does her behavior affect the whole bunch, but why is she reacting to things so violently?? That just isn't normal. Is she witnessing, or has she witnessed violence in the home that might have lead her to believe this is the way things are supposed to be? In any case, this level of anger and violence goes far beyond normal teenage attitude, and well beyond the scope of a support board - though a support board can sure help you get from one day to the next. Some serious professional intervention seems necessary.
Rose
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 10:59am
All teens reach a time when the light switch is turned on and they seem to have morphed in to a different human, but from your description things have reached a danger zone for your family. Since I do not have this type of BTDT experience my suggestion would be to approach community resources for some therapy, if you have already tried, try something different. Cyber Hugs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 11:41am
It sounds like you're in England. I'm not sure what's available there. A school counselor might be able to direct you to some resources. All that I can say is that you've got to take action and fast. Don't accept "we can't help you" for an answer. Find someone who will help you and DD. Don't give up, but don't give in either! Good luck.