problems with my hateful 18 yo DD
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|Fri, 05-02-2003 - 10:40am|
My DH is not her dad. We've been married for 4 years and everything in our marriage is wonderful, but he cannot stand this child and her complete disdain for our family and our rules. A year ago, he told her that she would be asked to leave as soon as she graduated high school. They don't fight, they just kind of avoid each other. He cannot stand the way she walks all over me and does what she wants, and steals from her sister, and lies, we catch her in lies all the time. So I do understand where he is coming from, but it also breaks my heart. Anyway, she'll be graduating in 4 weeks, and he's told her that we will put her in an apartment and pay her first months rent and a deposit, get her set up and turn her loose. My parents have also offered to take her (for THREE months) so that she can save some money but she says she doesn't want to live with them. I have also set aside some money for college, but I want her to go to the local junior college because she has no goals in mind, and I don't want to just throw money away on her... but she hasn't bothered to even take her SATs or anything.
Anyway - that's where we are. I am so emotional about this graduation, I keep getting all choked up about it - she could care less. I don't scream at her, I don't fight with her, I just talk to her and keep reminding her that she is making some really stupid choices that she will regret someday, but she thinks I'm an idiot.
Does anybody have any advice? This is such a sad time for me. I know it could be worse, but it truly is breaking my heart... on one hand, it will be a relief to have her gone, but on the other hand, I don't think she's going to make it on her own. And my DH will NEVER welcome her back. No way!! He is counting down the days until she is gone. I have sometimes even thought of leaving my marriage to go to "the apartment" with her, but that would mean uprooting my two other children, and really - I Love my marriage, but I am so torn between my ungrateful, hateful daughter and my had-it-up-to-here husband. She's still a child, IMO, but she doesn't think so... (sigh) - well, if anyone has any words of wisdom here, I'd appreciate it.