Prom if you disapprove of date?
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Prom if you disapprove of date?
| Tue, 03-21-2006 - 5:00am |
You know the difficulty we've had with DD's BF. She decided she didn't like some of the things he does either and is "taking a break" from him to hang out with a new guy (snowboard guy). Of course old BF has declared his undying love for her and said he will change. She is still taking a break. I don't know if she is physically attracted to snowboard guy, but she seems to enjoy hanging out with him for fun. They actually DO things together, where the old BF just wanted to sit around. He is very unmotivated. Well, old BF said he really wants to take DD to prom. I just don't feel I can support this. How do you all feel about this?? I don't even know how he can pay for any of it. He doesn't have a job (his mom will probably pay bec/ she likes DD). That is another bone of contention for me... he never has any money and wants DD to pay for things since she has a job. I can't see dropping several hundred dollars for her to go to prom with a guy who has called her names and treated her disrespectfully. She still probably has feelings for him; I guess she remembers the good times. But there were some bad times. I told her I couldn't support her going with old BF after the way he has treated her and that I don't want to reward his bad behavior by letting her go with him. She didn't say anything... I couldn't tell how she felt about that. She didn't seem angry. I DID say I'd be happy to pay for things if she went with girlfriends or another guy. She hasn't mentioned it since I said that two days ago. This is her Junior prom and she really wants to go this year. I want to wait a bit since prom is the last weekend in April, but should I mention going to shop for a dress?
Deb
Deb

She may want you to say no so it takes the heat off her saying no to the old BF
I'd talk more about what she wants to do-is snowboard boy an option?
Deb
Deb
Deb, you have to let her figure this one out for herself. She craves the drama, thats part of the appeal of the crappy BF. Do not feed into her drama, you are only fanning the flames. Who cares if new snowboarder is next BF, your DD needs to break it off with yucky guy ON HER TERMS (without interference)
<<< I told her I couldn't support her going with old BF after the way he has treated her and that I don't want to reward his bad behavior by letting her go with him.>>>
Wow. Deb..
Your doing what I only dreamed about doing with weenie boy.. :-)
Yet.. It may be an impractical ultimatum.
She may, despite who she "says" she's going with, meet this loser at the prom if she chooses.
"Hand picking" (as she will see it) her prom date may be a bit of a tall order.
Personally, I would be resigned to the fact that she will "date" whom she pleases, only with significant restrictions on where and when imposed by me based on safety. A boy acting like a jackass would be discussed at great length, with me biting my tongue in half suppressing what I REALLY want to say...to keep that ever important rapport going..sheesh.. but with my DD, your approach would backfire.
I'm not saying it's wrong. On the contrary, I'm actually envious.
I'm anxious to hear how it goes.
Deb