Please don't misunderstand my question - there was no judgement there ... Every situation is different. We talked about it from the day we first "met" her (she was in foster care and it took a month before we could bring her home). She was eight months old so it's always been part of her life.
Again, I have to stress that it is different with each family. We have told her everything we know about her situation, but only in an age appropriate manner and only when she asked (the harder stuff, like her birthmom's name, why her bm couldn't raise her, etc). Some people who know us are very critical of our approach, thinkning she isn't old enough to handle it.
She had a bit of a rough time around birthdays - that's when the questions come flowing.
And when you said you often didn't think about it, I completely relate. You don't think about it because she is yours and your dh's child. Adoption doesn't make her "different', but don't be surprised if she doesn't feel that way sometimes. Mine does.
Hang in there! The photos and documents will be something tangible for her. I'm glad you gave them to her. But do make copies of the important ones for yourself.
I've got a completely different situation here in that S isn't adopted by us, legally anyway, and most of his bio family on his father's side is still a part of his life. His bio mom walked away without ever looking back when he was 5, but he always knew about her.
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Thank you for your response.
Please don't misunderstand my question - there was no judgement there ... Every situation is different. We talked about it from the day we first "met" her (she was in foster care and it took a month before we could bring her home). She was eight months old so it's always been part of her life.
Again, I have to stress that it is different with each family. We have told her everything we know about her situation, but only in an age appropriate manner and only when she asked (the harder stuff, like her birthmom's name, why her bm couldn't raise her, etc). Some people who know us are very critical of our approach, thinkning she isn't old enough to handle it.
She had a bit of a rough time around birthdays - that's when the questions come flowing.
And when you said you often didn't think about it, I completely relate. You don't think about it because she is yours and your dh's child. Adoption doesn't make her "different', but don't be surprised if she doesn't feel that way sometimes. Mine does.
Hang in there! The photos and documents will be something tangible for her. I'm glad you gave them to her. But do make copies of the important ones for yourself.
Hugs,
jt
I've got a completely different situation here in that S isn't adopted by us, legally anyway, and most of his bio family on his father's side is still a part of his life. His bio mom walked away without ever looking back when he was 5, but he always knew about her.
How sweet, the comment that your S made at his wedding.
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