In my opinion, your dd should graciously accept the gift; after all, friends do nice things for friends all the time, do they not? If she has been hanging around this particular boy in the company of his friends and her friends, I don't see how she has led him to think that there was anything more to the relationship. It almost sounds like the boy who is saying not to accept the gift has something to gain from this . . . hmmmm
Hi. I don't know how much the gift cost...just that it's a pair of earrings and bracelet. That's a very good point you raise though.
I'm not sure what to tell her to say if she needs to turn it down without hurting his feelings. I know she can say that it's lovely but she can't accept it...but I'm sure he will insist on her keeping it.
I hope some moms of boys can help me out with this one...PLEASE!
Can she accept the gift yet use the opportunity to let him know CLEARLY that she is not interested?
Perhaps a hand written thank you note speaking to 'buddy' and signed 'pal' or something along those lines
That seems more face saving than being refused-he could always tell himself that was all it was intended for; the other scenario seems open for embarrassment
My boys have only given jewelry to girls they were interested in romantically
I think that's a very good solution to this. She will need to write a thank you anyway so writing "from your buddy or pal..." may help him to understand the status of their relationship. I agree that it may be very embarrassing for him to take the present back and have his friends find out. He may insist on her taking the gift anyway in order to save-face as you stated.
My DS is only 13, but very mature for his age, and he has many friends who are girls. I could see him doing something like this. As his mother, I'd say it would really hurt his feelings if the girl wouldn't accept the gift--even if she was just a friend. OTOH, I have a 15yo DD. If she received a gift like this, I think it would be OK for her to keep it as long as she made it clear again to the boy that they are just friends, to be sure that he doesn't have the wrong idea. If it turns out that he thinks they're more than friends, then she should not take the gift.
In my opinion, your dd should graciously accept the gift; after all, friends do nice things for friends all the time, do they not? If she has been hanging around this particular boy in the company of his friends and her friends, I don't see how she has led him to think that there was anything more to the relationship. It almost sounds like the boy who is saying not to accept the gift has something to gain from this . . . hmmmm
Amelia
Hi. I don't know how much the gift cost...just that it's a pair of earrings and bracelet. That's a very good point you raise though.
I'm not sure what to tell her to say if she needs to turn it down without hurting his feelings. I know she can say that it's lovely but she can't accept it...but I'm sure he will insist on her keeping it.
I hope some moms of boys can help me out with this one...PLEASE!
I have waffled and waffled on this post.
Can she accept the gift yet use the opportunity to let him know CLEARLY that she is not interested?
Perhaps a hand written thank you note speaking to 'buddy' and signed 'pal' or something along those lines
That seems more face saving than being refused-he could always tell himself that was all it was intended for; the other scenario seems open for embarrassment
My boys have only given jewelry to girls they were interested in romantically
I think that's a very good solution to this. She will need to write a thank you anyway so writing "from your buddy or pal..." may help him to understand the status of their relationship. I agree that it may be very embarrassing for him to take the present back and have his friends find out. He may insist on her taking the gift anyway in order to save-face as you stated.
Thank you.
My DS is only 13, but very mature for his age, and he has many friends who are girls. I could see him doing something like this. As his mother, I'd say it would really hurt his feelings if the girl wouldn't accept the gift--even if she was just a friend. OTOH, I have a 15yo DD. If she received a gift like this, I think it would be OK for her to keep it as long as she made it clear again to the boy that they are just friends, to be sure that he doesn't have the wrong idea. If it turns out that he thinks they're more than friends, then she should not take the gift.