Re DD's Trip: Need Letter Writing Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Re DD's Trip: Need Letter Writing Help
8
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 1:07pm

I know I just posted about DD's trip and that she had a good time, etc., but something happened during the trip that I want to call to the attention of the chaperones and am having a very tough time with the language and tone. Here's the scenerio:

At the parent meeting prior to this trip, the chaperones made a strong point that all students were always supposed to stay in groups of at least three. There were 4 kids assigned to each room.

On Saturday, DD and 2 of her roomies wanted restaurant A for lunch. Roomie 3 did not, so joined some other group. DD and roomie 1 and 2 went to lunch together, which happened to be the same place 3 of the chaperones were eating.

Roomie 1 woke up that morning with the comings down of a cold/flu and by the end of lunch, was feeling crummy enough that she just wanted to return to the hotel. Roomie 2 agreed to accompany her and stay with her (they are good friends).

The three girls approached the chaperones in the restaurant to tell them of the sickie and also to ask permission for roomie 1 and 2 to skip that night's performance because of roomie 1 not feeling well. The chaperones called the girls' parents to get their okay before they agreed. DD, roomie 1 and 2, and the 3 chaperones all left the restaurant, and since DD did not want to return to the hotel, she was trying to reach roomie 3 on her cell phone so she could meet up with her. DD said she called 12x and got no answer.

In the meantime, the other 2 girls and the 3 chaperones got on the trolley and left DD there by herself! I guess they were so concerned about sickie roommate that they failed to notice that their departure would leave DD stranded, and since DD was trying to get roomie 3 on the phone, she had kind of stepped aside and wasn't paying attention to the arrival of the trolley or of them getting on it. DD was a little freaked out that they had left her there (after all the talk of 'no less than three') and the fact it was the chaperones who had left her! She had the presence of mind to get herself to the nearest place she deemed 'safe', which was the lobby of a large hotel. DD eventually reached roomie 3 on her cell, learned where she was and went to meet her -- but again, by wandering the streets alone.

I would like to let the chaperones know what happened, that they fell down on the job and left a 14yo girl stranded in a strange town.

Does anybody have any suggestions on how to word this? Everything I come up with sounds accusing, nasty and/or angry. This is a bad time of the month for me to have to write a letter like this; I'm feeling somewhat ornery :-\.

TIA,
Julie




Edited 10/3/2006 1:26 pm ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 3:55pm

I don't remember where the trip was to but it's never, ever acceptable to leave a child alone on a trip like this. Having been a chaperone many, many times, I also know how these things can happen.

I personally wouldn't put my concerns in a letter. I would contact the trip sponsor and the principal or vice-principal and request a meeting. This way you are sure that there are no misunderstandings as to what you meant to say. You are also assured that the sponsor doesn't just ignore it - a higher level administrator knows about the incident and can be sure to caution other sponsors before going on their trips.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 5:01pm

tobylady, thank you for that suggestion. I honestly didn't even think of that, probably because the school is so far away and meeting with the principal, trip coordinator and/or chaperone would mean nearly a 2-hour round-trip drive for me and we are in total gasoline conservation mode. But it does make better sense to address this in person.

The trip was to Ashland, OR to the Shakespeare Festival; DD went last year, too. I'm told that Ashland is a very cute, quaint, charming and quite safe little college town (U. of Southern Oregon) but it only takes one incident for that reputation to change adversely.

I too, can see how the chaperones could miss the fact that DD was left hanging, they weren't paying attention to HER at that time. But that's just it, they weren't paying attention! And there were THREE of them.

Thanks again,




Edited 10/3/2006 5:23 pm ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 5:28pm

I can see why a letter would be easier but I think the sponsor and the administration would see that you expect them to take this matter seriously if you went for a visit. Just be sure to have your thoughts lined out before you walk in that door. Despite the fact that I teach, I still intimidated when I walk into a high school principal's office and often forget some of what i wanted to say (LOL). I find that if I write it down before I go in, it helps to stick in my brain a little better.

I do remember the trip now and it sounds wonderful. You are so right though that even things can happen in small towns. Oldest DD was on a trip with the Kiwanis Club when she was 15 and she and another girl got up and went to eat breakfast. The chaperone didn't show up and he didn't show up and they became worried. He was an older gentleman and the girls were concerned he had had a heart attack during the night and was dead in his room. They called me all in a panic. I was ready to get on a plane and fly down there (only I was still green from flying over a small tornado the day before). Here they were, two 15 y/o girls alone in Biloxi, MS. I told her to just stay in hotel with the others from the conference until lunch time. If he hadn't turned up by then, I was leaving. In the meantime, I called the hotel manager and he found the conference leader who later found the chaperone - he was at one of the casinos!! He figured the girls knew to go to the meetings they were supposed to go to!!

I was livid and needless to say, DD didn't go on that trip again. The prinicpal and I had a very long talk about that one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 5:57pm
I think lia had good advice re: meeting in person.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 7:14pm

Here's my stab at the letter that I'd send:

(Today's Date)

Dear Mr/Ms XXXXX

I am writing regarding the recent trip that my DD took to the Shakespeare Festival in Ashland Oregon. While the trip was a great success on many counts, an episode occured that made my husband and me very concerned.

My DD went to dinner with two friends. During this dinner, the two friends had to leave unexpectedly because of illness. They approached three trip chaperones, and were quickly returned to the hotel. However, my DD was then left alone, with neither friends nor chaperones to help her get back to the hotel. This is clearly a lapse of supervision, and goes against the direct reassurances parents were given prior to the trip about children always being in groups of three or more. This episode was very distressing to my DD, and upsetting to my husband and I, and had led us to doubt the school's ability to adequately supervise school trips.

*****************

Now, here's where you have to think about what you want to happen next. I listen to a Consumer Reporter on the radio and she always says if you're going to complain be ready to offer an acceptable solution. So....what would you like to see the school do? Letter of apology? Reprimand of chaperones? Review of policies so it doesn't happen again? Put that in the end of the letter, and give a time frame for them to respond. Like

I would like you to speak to the trip chaperones about this incident so that parents can again be assured that their children are safe on school trips. Please get back to me in the next week to let me know how you will follow up on this.

HTH

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 8:32pm

Great job, Sue!! It's along the same lines that I would have written (if only today had not been so busy and stressful here at work!).

Thanks for sharing your well-written letter with Julie.

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:35pm
Excellent letter.
Rather than simply a vent, you have adequately explained the concern, what you want, then requested a specific follow up.
<<>
This focuses on safety, not simply hanging someone from the highest tree.
(Allthough when it's said and done, that just may happen)...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 11:06am

Positively BRILLIANT, Sue! Thank you so much for your efforts with this. I was thinking yesterday I needed to wait for my hormones to level out some before I addressed this with the school, but this is perfect.

Just need make sure I have all the details exactly right before I go further.

Thanks again; you are amazing!

Julie