Reading posts and I get soo mad...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Reading posts and I get soo mad...
3
Sun, 05-18-2003 - 8:33am
You know - I read these posts and I get so angry and so hurt with all that our kids have to deal with at this age. It is amazing to me how cruel kids can be and how perfectly normal, well-balanced kids are forced into counseling and anti-depressent drugs. Sometimes this, I think, is understandable - if they have experienced a death that has been very difficult - or some other difficult home or family-life issues. But when it comes to the way they are treated by their peers - I just get so mad!

I know that high school is an unusual setting that only lasts four years. But I do believe it has impact on their later life. I believe the interactions they have in school, with their peers, their teachers, impact their confidence and self-esteem as they move forward and build thier lives. Also - when things are bad - it can be the longest 4 years of your life.

We are probably more fortunate than many. I mean my dd is talented, smart, seems to make friends easily, attractive - in other words she has a lot going for her. But these attributes are just what causes kids to attack when she faulters from the pedestal they put her on. And most of these kids are too weak to stand up against their peers and make them see what they are doing is wrong. Other kids take joy in tearing someone down that they have probably looked up to and admired for sometime, I guess because by doing this,in their eyes, it will improve their stature and demish hers. I talk to her about being strong, holding her head high, etc. - but this is really easier said than done.

Anyway - as I read the posts from other parents on this and other sites, I wonder how our society lets this happen. I think sometimes that perhaps the parents are as bad as the kids and probably have not adequately taught or reinforced kind behavior - probably because of their competitiveness for thier kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Sun, 05-18-2003 - 9:34am
Unfortunate, isn't it? However, these things have gone on for years and years, while our parents grew up, we grew up and our kids are growing up. The only difference is, the behaviors and events are now more exposed in today's world then they used to be. The problem were always there, just that the schematics have changed and solutions are different to an extent.

Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sun, 05-18-2003 - 12:57pm
Amen, sister! I agree that so many become jealous when someone does well. It's hard to raise kids to be excellent and proud of their strengths when there is so much pressure to not be excellent. I just had this discussion the other day with a friend. Our daughters are doing quite well musically, but have to deal with the "who do they think they are" attitude. We are just trying to help them feel good about their accomplishments and to just do the best they can do. Comments from others don't matter.
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Sun, 05-18-2003 - 6:12pm
I agree, I don't kids are THAT different today. I do think the way they are dealt with is different. People, schools run to lawyers and police before they take the 'problem' to their parents. I'd rather give the parent a chance to parent.