This really is a stupid post BUT....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
This really is a stupid post BUT....
9
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 8:44am
This small situation is making me insane!!! My daughter is 13 1/2- and she really is a very, very good kid. This problem that I have is so mundane- and it's not even my problem. My daughter has this obsessive "phobia" that her pants pockets cannot show. Okay, so that seems like such a small issue, and it is. But, it makes getting dressed difficult because everything has to be longer than usual. Now, tunics are in (thank God) but she can't wear them everyday because she likes shirts that are not tunics. Her answer to this is to wear a shirt that is longer underneath the short one. Again, little problem. But, because she is 13 and doesn't have the greatest sense of fashion yet, the shirts sometimes don't match- or they are so stretched out from being pulled down over her pockets and some have small little holes from being pulled. Some of the tshirts over the longer ones are slim fitting tees so with a shirt underneath they get all bunched. She doesn't see this though. She only sees her pants pockets! She went off to school furious this morning because she was running late and didn't have time to find an "appropriate" shirt to wear under the one she had on and I made her go to school...pockets showing and all. She had the tee shirt pulled down so far and it looked so awkward. The other problem with this is her posture because she slumps, always worrying that her pockets are showing. She has a pair of those skinny jeans- and she has such an amazing little figure...I had her try on a shirt that didn't cover her pockets-hoping she would see her figure. Then I had her put her shirt on pulled down like usual to mid thigh and tried to show her that that made her look short and stumpy. She didn't see it. This is making me nuts. My mom sais that if i just let it go and she sees that she doesn't get the reaction, she will get over it. By the way, this is relatively new, like maybe a year or so. Help me get over this. I feel like she isn't seeing her potential as she is a beautiful young lady...TIA- Stephanie
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 9:28am

I have to agree with your mom. Let it go. She will either be humiliated and embarrassed out of this OR she will just simply learn to wear a tunic everyday OR she will live with the bunched look. I wouldn't be so concerned either about how the colors, patterns or styles don't match - have you see what some kids wear to school these days??

My 16dd used to wear a giant black sweatshirt over everything from Fall into Spring. She seriously doesn't even need to change whatever she's wearing underneath because no one ever sees it. It used to drive me bonkers, but I realized I was fighting a losing battle and gave up. No sooner did I stop nagging her about her fashion and style then she began wearing sweaters, long sleeved t-shirts and other nice tops.

I know that Old Navy has a LOAD of tunics and matching camisoles and double t-shirts for sale right now. My 18dd was in awe the other day as she likes to layer her clothes as well and she found all sorts of cool tops to do so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 9:38am
Perhaps she has a problem with body image as its been reported within the world of fashion lately that pants pockets (especially on jeans) will add weight to the back side? We're told not to wear pants with large pockets if we have (what we think) is a large backside? It's just a thought. I feel, eventually, she'll get over it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 12:12pm

I'm laughing with you, not at you, okay?

Young teens and kids this age just have weird ideas about clothes and fashion. My DD did some pretty strange stuff at that age too -- mostly wearing the same shirts over and over and over again. Drove me nuts because she had brand new, really cute clothes getting smaller in her closet, while she wore out the same 2-3 shirts and jeans.

My 12yo DS is now doing the same thing.

This will pass. Until it does, how about you ask her if she would like to go shopping and find some jeans that don't have pockets on the backside. I've seen some low rise styles on girls other than my DD (she LIKES pockets!) that don't have any. Or since you mention it, longer shirts seem to be all the rage now. Think of it as a positive thing -- at least she isn't insisting on baring her belly for all the world to see and trying to convince you she needs her belly button pierced!

Not trying to make light of a situation that makes you bonkers, but sometimes, you just gotta laugh!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 12:30pm

You are not alone!!!! My dd is 15 and has gone through many, many different clothing and fashion "phobias". Here are but a few...

At one point all her sleeves had to be tight fitting -- loose sleeves were unacceptable as were sleeves that might be a bit too long. At another point she refused to wear tops that were not fitted at the waist ie no princess waistlines, no sweattops that had the banded loose fit at the bottom -- only a fitted waist. Pants could not be loose-fitting around the leg -- only fitted. At one point she refused to wear jeans or dress pants. Let's see, what else....last year it was the tank top under everything rule because she refused to wear a bra (she's since gotten over that but will now only wear strapless bras because she doesn't want straps to show). I could go on and on and on.

The good news is that she eventually got over most if not all of her little quirks about clothing. The bad news is that often she'd just replace the old one with a new one. The bra thing last year drove me nuts because she refused to see that wearing a tank under everything made her look bulky and limited what she could wear. Finally she broke down when I found her a strapless bra. She is embarassed by straps showing.

I often wondered why....and I think it is a little about self-esteem and body image. She is very thin compared to other girls and quite petite. But I don't know why she has these ideas or where she gets them. Right now its certain styles of tops but what helped quell some of her craziness was attending a high school with a uniform. She was forced to give up on some of her fashion idiosincracies...

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:07pm
(I find that 'look' where they wear the spaghetti straps with bras underneath whose straps show rather tacky - so I guess I'd be with your dd on the strapless bras! LOL)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:11pm

<>

Me too! Not long ago, my DD came down ready to go out in a brown spaghetti strap tank top and a black racer-back bra. ??? I sent her back upstairs to change either her bra or her top. Blech.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 4:23pm
I know, I know....it's so silly! My daughter wears the same shirt and jeans over and over again also! She has 30 (yes, 30) pairs of jeans in her closet- all Abercrombie, American Eagle(some new, but found an awesome deal on Ebay :)) and at least 30 shirts- but she comes home today and puts on the same green/white striped tank top that is so ugly!!! I guess I do need to keep my mouth shut and let it pass. By the way, the pockets she hates are the FRONT pockets- I could understand the back ones being a problem. Geez :)
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 4:48pm

DD has been through many odd fashion phases as well. Socks must be turned inside out b/c the seam scratched her toes. Now they must not show at all but it's okay if they don't match b/c they don't show.

She went through one phase where she refused to wear jeans at all. Once again, they itched. Plus zippers and normal waistbands were uncomfortable. They had to be elastic. Now they cannot be elastic b/c that's dorky. (okay I sort of see that one) All pants must be jeans. She doesn't own a pair of dress pants. I buy them and they sit in the closet until cleaning time. Then they are donated to a family at church with 3 girls and a single mom. Those girls love it when DD cleans her closet.

She refused to wear sweaters. They itched and they were hot. Now she will wear a sweater but it cannot be a turtleneck. Unfortunately she gets that one from me. I got bit by a spider in the neck of my turtleneck once - not pretty at all!

Shoes cannot show her babytoe at all. She has no baby toenails and painting them on just doesn't cut it. However, this rule doesn't apply to flip-flops. It's okay if the babytoe shows in flip flops.

She refuses to wear anything that is low cut but then again it cannot come up around her neck. She refuses to wear short skirts but has long legs so even longer skirts look short. She also doesn't want a skirt that comes below her fingertips. Once again difficult since she has long legs.

And that's just one of my girls.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 9:32pm

Oh Stephanie! Gosh, I loved reading your post because it made me feel not so alone! I have an almost 15 yo and no sooner does she get over one clothing fetish than she develops another! I completely sympathize with you on this one and as hard as it is for us moms, knowing