really upset now, someone calm me down
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really upset now, someone calm me down
| Thu, 03-02-2006 - 7:56pm |
For the second time in a week my daughter has lied to me about something. Neither thing was anything major but both because she knew the truth would make her boyfriedn look bad. She is 17 (18 in Sept) so I don't know what the appropriate punishment would be. If you have read my posts before then you will know that we have had problems with this guy. She has never been one to lie like this. I want to on Saturday make her not see her b/f and no telephone conversations either. I think she needs time away from this boy for her to see what she is doing. I gave her a warning on the first lie that if it happened again she would be punished. I ma afraid if I let it go she will continue this but then again she is almost 18 and ready to go off to college.
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| Thu, 03-02-2006 - 9:14pm |
What did she lie about? If you confronted her about something the BF did it is very typical for her to lie. She doesn't want you to tell her what to do in regard to the BF. She probably wants to make her own decisions. If you heard her talk to her friends you might find that she is more sensible than you think. She may not approve of everything the BF does, but you're not giving her a chance to decide that. You probably just have to give her some room and let her know you trust that she will handle things that are unfavorable with the BF. You could say, "you're a smart girl, I know you will handle that." Depends on what she lied about; but she really might need some space. She probably is more mature than you think.
| Thu, 03-02-2006 - 9:23pm |
I didn't confront her about it. She said something and I just aksed her about it. The thing is I am venting on here but not saying anything to her. I already told her she just had to keep her eyes open and decide for herself if this is what she wants in her life. I have told her I will be there for her. I know better than to say much to my daughter for she will pull away from me and move closer to him.
| Sat, 03-04-2006 - 11:29am |
Hi ks- I talked to you in chat on Wed. If this was my daughter I would first get with my hubby and decide on how much to limit contact with BF due to this lie- then both of you approach dd and explain that actions have consequences.She may kick and scream and protest but at least she will know that you both are paying attention to her bad choices and that they have results. I realize your dd is 17 but she's NOT in college yet and letting her lie to you with no results is something you need to address. Its obvious that BF is a bad influence on her- but don't yell about that-try to stay calm and focus on HER actions and consequences. She's at an age where being her friend comes second to being her parent. If you let her bad decisions just go then things will escalate. Take care! Nancy
| Sun, 03-05-2006 - 9:21am |
The thing is these were stupid lies because she didn't want him to look bad. One of them was she said something and I said Oh he didn't go to class again. She replied oh he went to class he just got out early. I found out a little later he didn't go to class. Well thats his choice if he wants to flunk. But she knew I wouldnt like it so she lied. The other thing was he asked her over for supper, when I asked what they were having she said she didn't know, but she knew he was having hot dogs which she HATES. It's not like the lies are major things but if I can't trust her about the little things how can I trust her about the big things. He is just bringng her down. He is flunking classes but claims he knows how to play the "game" to get by. Well what games his he playing with my daughter.
