Red Hot Chili Peppers

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Red Hot Chili Peppers
7
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 8:42pm
Would you let your 11 year old son go to a concert with his father if the music is for adult ears? My ex husband wants to take our son to the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert and I don't agree with it. Am I over reacting? Please share your thoughts. Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 11:24pm
i think you are over reacting. there is no language or subject matter at that concert that your kid isn't exposed to daily on the playground.
Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 2:05am
I have an 11 year old and I would NOT let her go to the concert. I don't tend to find RHCP horrible offensive, but in a public forum, they can get away with a lot more. That you child is exposed to inappropriate stuff at school doesn't mean you should continue to do it at home. Check out the music, talk to your CHILD about what they might hear, so that should you lose this battle, you can be supportive about it, and also be enlightening about it. It's ok to tell you child that what they are hearing isn't appropriate for anyone, whether they are adults or children. Keep telling him what your values are, what his dad's values are, why they might differ. The best you can do is teach your child to deal with the world around him. My dd chooses to avoid people who are offensive to her, so she doesn't have to hear it on the play ground or anywhere else, and when she does, I hear about it. Bottom line with the concert, for me anyway, is that concerts are for older kids, not middle schoolers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:06am
No, I wouldn't let an 11yo go to a concert like that.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:07am
Actually, I would.
Assuming your ex can model safe and sober behavior for this event (amidst the foggy haze), this could be a teachable moment. This may prove more effective than "just say no" or the D.A.R.E. program.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:07am

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are not what would be termed as 'adult music'. But, aside from that, we have a rule in our house anyway about concerts in general - no one gets to go until they are at least 14, and that's with a parent. They can't even attend a concert alone until they are 16. This has worked for us.

But to each his own - you have to figure out what you're comfortable with. Is your exh a reasonable and responsible person? Is he simply sharing the experience with his son or is he a risk taker? At all venues, regardless of who is playing, there is a risk that there will be some people who are stoned or drunk, but if your exh is a normal person, he will steer clear of those people and focus on sharing the special event with your son. I really think a decision like this is a matter of what YOU and exh are comfortable with. Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:59am

i would ... but i'm really into good music and i'd want to share the thrill of a live show with my child... i took my daughter to see nsync when she was 8 - though i'm sure it doesn't compare to rhcps... my only hesitation would be with the venue - i wouldn't take an 11 yr old to a club to see a band but it's likely that they are playing a larger venue anyway and there will be people of all ages there -- young and old... i venture to bet that your son wouldn't be the only 11 yr old there anyway.

rachel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:10am

RHCP is very popular with kids in that age group (my 12yo DS is a big fan!) so if he had the opportunity to see them in concert, I would really consider it. The things I'd consider before agreeing, however, would be the date (school night? no, if it was), the location of their seats (stage level? no way!) and if I felt the chaperone (in this case, your XH) was responsible and trustworty.

As one poster asked, would your XH be responsible in this venue? i.e, refrain from drinking anything alcoholic? Would he be likely to stay in their assigned seats? And not drag your DS down to the front rows where things get really rowdy and out-of-hand? And also to not leave your DS alone in his seat for an instant, even if he just had to visit the mens' room.

I think the issue here is if your trust your XH to be a responsible parent and set a good example for your DS. I don't think the content of the show would be as much an issue for me as that of knowing my childs' safety and well-being would not be placed in jeopardy.

Any chance you can ask your XH if you could tag along? Just a thought.