Religious education

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Religious education
23
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 7:47pm

Recently my DD14 has been fighting about going to religious school and I'm not sure how hard to push it or what reasons to give her for going....

We are Jewish, and she had her Bat Mitzvah almost 2 years ago. In our Temple, kids can go for three more years (10th grade) for a Confirmation class. Not every kid does it, but it's also a more relaxed "adult" approach to education, since they've completed the big hurdle of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Last year, DD liked it (more cute boys than girls helped alot!). This year, she's constantly asking to 'skip'. I try to give her some flex (she can miss if she has alot of homework), try to make it her choice (if you're going to do adult education, it should be your initiative), but I'm running out of reasons to keep her going. Right now I'm relying on straight bargining (go this week, you can skip next week, not two weeks in a row) and stubborness (yes, you *HAVE* to go).

I'd like to avoid a straight out confrontation - don't want to force it on her - but I'm not sure what other alternatives I have.

Any ideas or experience?

Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 3:38pm

She does sound a lot like my daughter. She considered being a Çantor, but it looks like maybe forensic science or an events coordinator. She is in Seussical right now and a show she adapted from a short story and is directing opens in 2 weeks. It's not a musical, but based on a sci fi short story with themes of peer pressure and bullying. DD is a madrich at our temple and helps with the music program there. She's preety amazing.

The theater you are talking about is called Music Circus. DD did a show for them about 2 years ago. It's not a tent anymore. About 4 years or so ago they built a real building, but it's still theater in the round.

Sherry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 11:52pm

Well, here's a difference -- my DD would NEVER consider a career in science (though she would be a terrific event planner)! She does well in math and science because she's smart and works hard, but those are definitely not her strong suits (even though DH is a meteorologist/air pollution engineer by training). She decided

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:49am

Jumping in with my 2cents without reading the other posts (major time constraints here - at least for the next couple of days):

I'm going to oversimplfy here: Introducing our kids to our respective faiths is a little like making them eat green vegetables. This is something necessary for their growth and must be provided consistently. Most will resist, but it is in their best interests that we do it anyway. They need a foundation - one that, with great luck, will see them through their teen years and/or - with good luck - they will return to as adults.

It is hard to find a balance, I know. I would suggest simply telling your dd that her Confirmation is a rite of passage into adulthood and see needs to see that through. Beyond that, the choice is hers. It sounds like you are very good at respecting your dd's opinions and she, no doubt, knows that by now. It is not unreasonable for you to ask that she explore the process of understanding her given faith before making up her mind.

jt

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