ROFL - DH IS SHOCKED AT WALLY WORLD
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| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 2:35am |
Ok it is the middle of the morning or night...today has been one of those days; harrassment lawsuit at work (I am HR Director, not a party to the lawsuit-that would be a day), overflowing dishwasher, swim meets, and oh mom, did you remember to buy notebook paper? Overlooking the fact that I was never asked for the paper, I try to find the humor in it all. The source of my laugh for today presented itself at Wally World, unfortunately, as you will see DH failed to see hilarity of the moment, but it was classic.
Late this afternoon and following the swim meet we make the mad dash to Wally World, for yes, you guessed it, the notebook paper I had neglected to purchase as clearly stated in my MOM's PSYCHIC RESPONSIBILITY CONTRACT. I digress from the subject, but how many of you have that contract in writing?
We drop DD off at the front of Wally World in search of said paper, to prevent having to search for a parking space on planet Mars. DH is tired, hungry and not happy to be there; so you might say he is a bit impatient when DD has to undergo cosmetic surgery to exit the vehicle, she must always brush her hair, check makeup, etc.
DH pointed out three young men near the entrance, their hulking dude selves smiling lasciviously at DH's precious sophomore girl-child as she jumped out of the car. Once he caught sight of this potential threat to his princess, he announced "watch them". I thought this is going to be funny...I mean memorable funny, so I watched. Mind you these were not scary men, just very attractive young men, probably with abs on which you could bounce a basketball who can consume all the trans-fats they wish.
As DD approached the door aforementioned "dudes" whistled, drooled and shouted "Hey Baby, you are HOT!!" DH's eyes narrowed into menacing slits, and his hands closed white knuckled tight around the steering wheel. I think he started to yell JAIL BAIT out loud but DD did him one better. She looked at "dudes" (while batting her eyelashes) and said "my name is not Baby and my eyes are up here." Go Girl Power!!
DH was so engrossed in all of this predator and prey action his head and neck were completely swiveled around a twist performed in the Exorcist while glaring at these lowly, leering scumbags. He breathed a sigh of relief once his princess made it into the relative safety of the building. DH turned around just in time to slam on the brakes before crunching the bumper of the a large truck. I felt the urge to cross myself all though not Catholic.
DD returned to our vehicle safely with valuable notebook paper. DH said can we go home now? DD said sure dad just drive by the front door again so I can see those cute guys again. ROFL...I could not help it I laughed so hard I cried, DH did not seem the humor in it. As I often remind DH "Buck Up", it is going to be a long ride and we have front row seats.
All of this is a very long winded explanation as to why I desperately require a deep tissue massage with bonus hot stones and a reminder to us all to see the humor in life.
Happy Parenting - Anna

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Oh Anna, that is a HOOT!!! Some daddies just never see their girl-child as being even slightly grown up - a fact that is playing itself out with great drama in our household. Do you have any boy children? Add that into the mix, and you really get a new pic of DH!
Man-child 19 has a new g/f, age 17, quite a cutie... DH thinks this is great, enjoys giving man-child a hard time about "cuddle time" in front of the tv. (DH has always had this attitude about the DSs and their g/fs since the boys had their first g/fs around 14 or 15 y/o) Girl-child of 15 1/2 has been dating her 16 y/o b/f for almost 5 months now - and DH still thinks b/f should be sitting on the other side of the room when they watch tv together! LOL The double standard is alive and well in our household, though very quietly so. DH doesn't say much to DD, just to mama.
Rose
Oh yeah...another reminder that sometimes it's easier having sons. My reaction to the girls ogling DSs 17 & 23 is nothing like your DH's. I just chuckle to myself.
I like the "My eyes are up here" line. Did you teach DD that?
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
At first glance, I thought you and your family were on vacation at Wally World -- then I realized there really isn't such a place, just a movie. lol
My DH actually refuses to set foot anywhwere near Wal-mart unless it is a dire emergency.
ROTFLMAO!!!
Thanks for the laugh this morning - I can just see your DH now - white knuckled and breathing fire (LOL)!
Oh, and to answer your question...
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Of course I do - it's right here somewhere (under the school calendars, permissions slips, empty cake plates, phone chargers, PS2 wires, clothing, wet towels...oh yeah, here it is.
Oh s*** - it's written with invisible ink.
Back to your regularly scheduled programming
Great post, Anna! You have a wonderful way with words! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Amelia
Your writing is just hysterical.
I usually am not privy to these reactions since I am divorced from DD (almost 18)'s father. However, last year when she went to the jr. prom, he came over to the house to see her & the date since she didn't want to have to drive by his house too. She had a black halter gown with just some silvery beading at the V-neck. I told her I thought she looked like she was ready for the red carpet at the Oscars. Of course, I am biased, but I think she is beautiful and for some unknown reason, she has never had a BF! I thought her dad would flip out cause he thought she looked too grown up. Then on the way out, she was carrying a bag because the orig. plans were to go back to a girl's house after the prom and go in her hot tub (in a bikini, no less!). His reaction--why do you even tell me these things? They didn't end up doing that since it was kind of cold and rainy. What is he going to do when she actually gets a BF?
Okay first off has anyone told you that you should be a writer?? You do have a way with words!
"Ginny"
Loving wife
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