ROFL - DH IS SHOCKED AT WALLY WORLD

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
ROFL - DH IS SHOCKED AT WALLY WORLD
13
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 2:35am

Ok it is the middle of the morning or night...today has been one of those days; harrassment lawsuit at work (I am HR Director, not a party to the lawsuit-that would be a day), overflowing dishwasher, swim meets, and oh mom, did you remember to buy notebook paper? Overlooking the fact that I was never asked for the paper, I try to find the humor in it all. The source of my laugh for today presented itself at Wally World, unfortunately, as you will see DH failed to see hilarity of the moment, but it was classic.

Late this afternoon and following the swim meet we make the mad dash to Wally World, for yes, you guessed it, the notebook paper I had neglected to purchase as clearly stated in my MOM's PSYCHIC RESPONSIBILITY CONTRACT. I digress from the subject, but how many of you have that contract in writing?

We drop DD off at the front of Wally World in search of said paper, to prevent having to search for a parking space on planet Mars. DH is tired, hungry and not happy to be there; so you might say he is a bit impatient when DD has to undergo cosmetic surgery to exit the vehicle, she must always brush her hair, check makeup, etc.

DH pointed out three young men near the entrance, their hulking dude selves smiling lasciviously at DH's precious sophomore girl-child as she jumped out of the car. Once he caught sight of this potential threat to his princess, he announced "watch them". I thought this is going to be funny...I mean memorable funny, so I watched. Mind you these were not scary men, just very attractive young men, probably with abs on which you could bounce a basketball who can consume all the trans-fats they wish.

As DD approached the door aforementioned "dudes" whistled, drooled and shouted "Hey Baby, you are HOT!!" DH's eyes narrowed into menacing slits, and his hands closed white knuckled tight around the steering wheel. I think he started to yell JAIL BAIT out loud but DD did him one better. She looked at "dudes" (while batting her eyelashes) and said "my name is not Baby and my eyes are up here." Go Girl Power!!

DH was so engrossed in all of this predator and prey action his head and neck were completely swiveled around a twist performed in the Exorcist while glaring at these lowly, leering scumbags. He breathed a sigh of relief once his princess made it into the relative safety of the building. DH turned around just in time to slam on the brakes before crunching the bumper of the a large truck. I felt the urge to cross myself all though not Catholic.

DD returned to our vehicle safely with valuable notebook paper. DH said can we go home now? DD said sure dad just drive by the front door again so I can see those cute guys again. ROFL...I could not help it I laughed so hard I cried, DH did not seem the humor in it. As I often remind DH "Buck Up", it is going to be a long ride and we have front row seats.

All of this is a very long winded explanation as to why I desperately require a deep tissue massage with bonus hot stones and a reminder to us all to see the humor in life.
Happy Parenting - Anna

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 10:13pm
My older ds got his first kiss when he was 14 1/2 at a church youth retreat.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 12:01am

Hi Rose, yes we do have 23yo DS. He is lives a few hours away in Chapel Hill, going through graduate school. You are so right life for 16yo DD is quite different than for DS. DS has had the same GF since HS and displays constant affection in front of DH.

Let DD have a BF and DH goes into a version of alien transformation at the sight of the BF putting an arm around her shoulder. He rarely says anything to DD just to me. Mom the peacemaker. I just sit back and enjoy the dynamics.

Bet you are enjoying having DS back home. Blessings to you - Anna

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 12:05am

I cannot take credit for DD's line "my eyes are up here". That one is all her own, she has found it offensive that the male species refuses to make immediate eye contact when they see women.

Of course, I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams....why she would bother with those tight jeans she wears if she doesn't want the admiration. LOL

Pages