The RX Route...Kinda Sad but Hopeful

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
The RX Route...Kinda Sad but Hopeful
16
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 4:18pm
You all have seen me post here alot about 14 y.o. dd and all the trouble, since last summer when I found out she was cutting. She's in private therapy every other week, group therapy every week. We have a meeting to discuss her IEP and testing results this week. Therapist thinks dd has learning disabilities as well as depression. Recently her art has become very dark and I found a note in one of her sketch books that sounded like a suicide note. It was just in the book like it was never intended for anyone to see. With that information, therapist recommended a visit to the psyche (M.D.). Naturally, she (M.D.) has prescribed an anti-depressant, believing that dd suffers from depression and possibly ADD as well. DD is on board with taking it. I just hate that she has to do this, but I'm hopeful maybe it will make a difference in dd's attitude. She just has zero motivation, or interest in anything. On the upside, it seems that she and H. may be drifting apart (recall that H. basically dropped out of school and her parents have let her, rather than face a student study team meeting for her failing grades...go figure her parents, I know I never will). DD has a new friend, hoping she's a better influence but not entirely sure. Anyway, I know meds are sometimes definitely needed, and often a blessing. It doesn't mean she'll have to take them forever. I took Elavil as a teenager for a short time for depression, so it may run in the family.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 5:51pm

I know that many people frown on medicating teens but for me the bottom line is if the benefit outweighs the risk then try it. I have seem them make a world of differerence and change the course of a teen that was spiraling downward. Like you said, it isn't forever. I hope that she doesn't resist them or feel like there is something wrong with her; and I hope that they kick in quickly.

It can be so hard for us parents to know what is within the range of "normal" teen behavior and angst, and when various interventions are needed. Good luck to you both in getting through this difficult time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 6:48pm

When I read the topic, I'll admit I thought you were going to say she's on ADD meds, which I've tried with J, but he hated it and hasn't been on them for nearly 10 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 8:23pm

Your DD is lucky to have you so aware and proactive - between counseling, meds, support, etc she will have a much better chance of continuing along the recovery route.

(((HUGS))) to both of you!

Sue

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 8:46am

mom_dragonfly, my H and I initially refused my then dd meds years ago, even though we knew deep down that she would probably benefit from thier use. We were so afraid of the stigma of mental health and meds, etc., or of making her feel less than perfect. Even to this day H sometimes says that all she needs is a daily exercise routine - he sometimes still reverts back to the denial of her depression and anxiety. H's own mother is clinically depressed, yet the entire family avoids the subject. It's really quite sad, IMO, that no one pushes her to get the help she needs. Depression and mood disorders also run in my family (my mom and two sisters).

It took us quite a while to finally take the leap and I don't regret a day. DD's bio father's family was very difficult at first - they would refuse to give her her meds when she visited and so when she came home, she'd be a mess. She also had very dark poetry and drawings. Our counselor said that it's not unusual at thier ages and in these times to have dark writings and drawings anyway, but like your dd, my dd's writings were of a suicidal sounding type and it really scared me. I remember writing some dark things in HS, but not quite that dark.

Anyway, my dd will probably have to be on meds for life. She has a mood disorder along with depression swings, so this is something that's been very difficult for all of us to come to terms with, especially dd. But there it is - We have no choice at this point. My dd is in cognitive and behavioral therapy and hopefully will learn better ways to handle her moods and impulsivity - and not be such a drama queen (lol). Keeping my fingers crossed!

I applaud your attitude towards getting your dd the help she needs - it's a very brave step to take in a world that has become so anti-meds, even for those who truly need it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:51am

I'll join you in being hopeful for your dd. I was resistant to meds for my dd two years ago. I suspected she had add and, even though her teachers thought I was nuts (she is a bright girl and one heck of a good actress!), I had her tested. We just met with our physician for a re-evaluation and I remember saying something like: Sometimes I feel guitly about the meds (stratera). I'll never forget his reply: He said "You're doing it to get her though school. Kids have to be able to function within the system. When they become adults, usually they find an occupation that is compatable with add. If she becomes a naturalist for a park system, whose going to care if she's distracted by the birds?" I loved that. I was a terrible student - most likely due to my own distractibility. I am a photographer and I can be a creative ditz to my heart's content and people will pay me for it!

I know dealing with the depression is another issue entirely, and I don't mean to oversimplfy the situation. I'm just saying it might make a world of difference for you. You've really hung in there with your dd and you BOTH deserve a reprieve.

Crossing my fingers and toes....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 10:06am

I too didn't want DD on ADD medication but finally felt that we had no choice. She was so frustrated with school and life in general. She was becoming very rebellious and some of it was b/c of the frustration with school. Her frustration was sort of interferring with her ability to deal with the normal teen-age stuff that most kids go through. DD went from almost D's to straight A's. I also threw in some major consistent discipline and taught her some study habits. The discipline so far as school work consisted of not being able to leave home any and all missed or failing assignments from the previous week were completed to my satisfaction. I had to teach her how to do her homework, the importance of doint it, etc.

You too will figure out the best way to work with DD's depression and learning disabilities and then you can figure out how best to help her. It will take a lot of hard work and consistency on your part but I can promise you it will be worth it in the long-run. I used to get so tired of feeling like the hall-monitor, military police, mean mom, etc. but she's worth every bit of it. I also used to make her cards and put them in her notebooks before a big a test telling her how proud I am of the strides she's made so far or how good it was to see her studying for this test and whether she failed or passed, I was so proud of her effort. I even got her ice-cream once for a final exam she made a 50 on - she studied so hard.

The medication allowed her brain to calm down enough for her to learn how to study. She may be on this all of her life but please know that she and you will still have alot of work to do but hopefully the medication will allow her the ability to learn how to reach her full potential.

Good Luck and please keep us posted.

Lia

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 1:00pm

mom_dragonfly,

I don't have any experience with this but just wanted to send you hugs and good wishes that this treatment works for your DD. I know this has been a hard road for you.

Please keep us updated,

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:02pm
Has your daughter had any trouble with eating on her meds? I've given Adderol a couple shots, but I always end up stopping because it supresses my appetite immensely and I lose a lot of weight. And while Ritalin and Concerta don't effect my appetite as much, they aren't quite strong enough. I don't know how much you know about ADD meds, but do you have any suggestions??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 2:51pm

My dd is on an anti-depressant right now, Dr. will treat the ADD after we deal with the depression. It's hard to tell sometimes if it's ADD or depression. I have very limited experience with meds - my ds (16) just started Concerta, as his first RX. We have seen appetite supression and weight loss so he may not be able to stay on that one - he only takes 36 mg. but so far it seems to help. Sorry I could not be of more help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 2:53pm

Ha ha... the thread got me all worked up about getting a handle on my ADD again (plus I've been having a hell of time getting things done for school). I called my psychiatrist this afternoon to set up an appt. We got to talking briefly about my options and he thinks it might be better if I don't use XR (extended release), but rather the "regular" pills so that I can only take the meds when needed. Basically, the regular pills are

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