Sadie Hawkins Dance

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sadie Hawkins Dance
5
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 12:35pm

My ds16 got asked to the dance by his "girlfriend". I don't really like this girl, she is very pretty and very spoiled, and apparently toying with my ds, imo. He doesn't see her as his girlfriend, although he does seem to like her. He's been over to her house with her parents a couple of times, even had dinner with them and watched a movie, etc. Anyway, it wound up that he was going to the dance with her, and two of her girlfriends. My ds must have looked good walking in with 3 pretty girls, but that is where the fun stopped for him. He said that all 3 girls danced together (he doesn't really like dancing, it's always rap music and always dirty dancing, called 'freakin' btw). So the girls danced together and he was left out. He said he would have danced with his date, but didn't want to dance with all 3 of them (can you tell my ds is not a 'player' - LOL).

From the side of the guy, for once, I just can't understand why she asked him if she didn't want to hang out with him. My dd14 wound up going with some friends. You don't 'have' to come with a date, apparently. I was upset b/c I think he was kind of hurt, although he wouldn't go into it, as is the way for boys.

Anyway, I don't like this girl but I'm trying to learn the lessons I've learned here from y'all and not let HIM KNOW THAT!

Boys have feelings too. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 12:48pm

I'm so sorry your DS didn't enjoy the dance! I think I'd have a hard time keeping quiet about not liking the gf, too. Heck, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about most anything anymore. Egad. Is there such a thing as Kaopectate for diarreah of the mouth?

That said, my DD would LOVE to meet a boy like your DS. She loves music, loves to dance, but hates rap music and is totally turned off by freak and dirty dancing, etc. She's always saying things like "I wish people danced liked they did when you were in high school". I tihnk she only went to two dances last year.

She claims to prefer to dance with her girlfriends because they just all get out there and dance. One big free for all. She doesn't want to dance with a boy and have him velcro his private parts to her! Personally, I don't know how these boys can dance with their groins pressed into a girls' backside, or frontside for that matter, without spending the entire evening with a big ol' stiffy. Do you?

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 2:22pm

Julie, if I had my druthers ds would go out with a 'nice girl' like your dd, but I guess I don't get to pick! Eventually, I think he will 'settle down' so to speak with a nice girl but guess I may have to wait a while for that.

When I took him to the Sylvan Learning Center for testing this weekend, the girl who was working the front desk was a nice girl that actually goes to school with him - I could tell she felt very shy around him and I didn't even think he'd noticed her until later he told me that she was in some of his classes. But the nail in her coffin was that she reminds him of me (you might guess - I was the 'nice girl' in my day)! Poor girl. LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 3:26pm

No unfortunately, we don't get to pick who our kids are attracted to, do we? But you're right, as they get older they gravitate more towards the 'nice' boy or girl as opposed to the 'hot' or 'popular' one that everyone wanted to be with in high school. Well, at least I hope that's the way it works!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 4:12pm

Not my kid. She's always been attracted to the bad boy regardless of looks or popularity. She likes the partiers. I really don't get it since she isn't a partier. The adolescent psychologist I saw explained it to me that since her dad is an alcoholic (sober since she was 13), this is what she is comfortable around. Plus there is some challenge in their to try to change them. Unfortunatly, the lady offered no help whatsoever in how to change this behavior.

I'm sorry he didn't have fun at the dance. I've noticed this type of dancing. Our church sponsors a dance every year for the freshmen at a nearby Christian college. In the past, we've let some of our youth help with serving the refreshments. This year we decided against having the youth help b/c we didn't want them to see the type of dancing they did. I personally voted to cancel it - my feeling is that if they behave in a manner that we feel we must hide, then we shouldn't allow that behavior on our church property. I was overruled. Oh well - such is life, when you're a prude!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 9:54pm

That kind of dancing on church property does surprise me. Oh, the times they are a 'changin.

Btw, I had a thing for bad boys myself. But I wound up marrying a reformed 'bad boy' and we've been married for 19 years. So maybe things will work out for your dd as well.