Saying goodbye...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Saying goodbye...
13
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 12:24pm
Your last (or maybe your first) baby is heading off to college. As much as you disliked his dirty room or her tendency to leave the milk out, you’re going to miss them. If you’ve done the college good-bye already, what tips would you give other mom’s to make the transition as smooth as possible? Is there anything you wish someone had told you about leaving your child at college? If you’re sending away your first what will be the hardest part about saying goodbye? What can other parents do to make the good-bye easier?






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Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 1:07pm

>>what tips would you give other mom’s to make the transition as smooth as possible? Is there anything you wish someone had told you about leaving your child at college? If you’re sending away your first what will be the hardest part about saying goodbye? What can other parents do to make the good-bye easier?>>

There is nothing that can make it any easier other than focusing on your young adult child following their own dreams and resting secure that you've done your job well. Other than that, go with it - let the tears fall all the way home. Try to hold back the tears until you leave the campus.

The hardest part about leaving them and saying goodbye is that they seem extremely excited about being on their own and inside you're dying because you will miss them so much! lol.

The only thing other parents can do to help make the goodbye easier is to commiserate with you - share the hard part as well as the happy parts....like not having to get up and make sure the doors are locked or cleaning up after them in the kitchen or hanging up wet towels 'accidentally' left on their bedroom floor. Haha.

My oldest left last Fall and my youngest will be begin college at a local CC, so she will not physically be leaving home. However, it is still a big transition and I imagine I will shed a tear or two on her first day of college! Well, at least on her 18th b'day in October anyway!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 3:37pm

My oldest is leaving in 3 wks and right now she's driving me crazy, although I know I will miss her when she is actually gone. She was gone this summer for 2 one-week periods, so I was getting used to her not being here, plus as my DS points out, she's never home anyway. She goes out every single night! I think she is really going to miss her big group of friends, although she will know several people at her univ.

She will be about 2 hrs. away, so at least I won't have to wait until Thanksgiving for her to come home. My friend's oldest is going from RI to Fla. and she is more upset, even though she says there will be a lot less arguing in the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 7:13pm

I've bid 3 of my 4 goodbye in the past 3 years, though not through sending them off to college - I send mine off to the US military.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 11:17pm
Aw, Rose, that is so lovely. I may copy you after dd19 leaves again for college!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 1:05pm

I still have a month until the triplets leave, but I know that time will go by fast. They are the first to go to college so this is new for me.

Bradford is the first to leave. He and I will fly to his school and the morning after his move in day I will fly home. His school is about a 10 hour drive and around a 2 hour flight.

Unfortunately, because Shea and Reagan's school starts the same day, but in 2 seperate cities, I cannot personally take both of them to school. I am driving Shea to school, which is roughly 4 hours away while my husband drives Reagan to school, which is about 9 hours away. That really saddens me, but I can say goodbye to Reagan that morning before we leave.

I feel bad for Carlin who has to stay with a friend while we take the girls to school. She can't come with us because she will already be in school and will miss a lot of schoolwork, especially since her courseload is predominately AP classes.

I still can't believe that they have grown up this fast.

Stephanie

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 3:31pm
Wow - THREE in such a short period of time. I imagine your home will seem very quiet!
Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 3:42pm

I just had to comment---there was a boy who graduated a couple of years ago from our town whose name is Shea Reagan. As I was reading thru all the posts, that just jumped out at me. :)

I know, neither here nor there, and probably interesting only to me, but I had to comment anyway!! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 3:55am
It is hard to say good bye. My ds is getting married and it is an adjustment for me. I am trying to let go although it is not easy. My son listens to his fiance now and I have to get used to that. But I know if I don't let go I won't be able to keep him feeling he can be close to me because he'll be afraid I'll intrude. I know someone who is a great role model. She steps back but is always there with love and support to both her daughter in laws and sons. They love her in return and invite her over all the time. So, I am trying to be like her--supportive without being intrusive. I try to think of myself as gaining a daughter not losing a son. Good luck--we all need it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 1:16pm

One of my best friends has a son who got married two summers ago. Her daughter in law is just lovely, and they have a wonderful relationship. This is due, in large part, to the fact that my friend is a loving and supportive MIL, but makes sure that she stands back and does not intrude. Consequently, her DIL and her son both come to her more often because they know that she will be there with love, support, advice if they want it, but none that is unsolicited. She's a very good role model when I finally get to that point in my life.

Nancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 1:22pm

One of the things that bothered me the most when my son left for college was that his room looked so.....empty....so unlived in. As my daughter prepares to leave in two weeks, she has commented that she wants to leave her room looking like her room, so that when she comes home she won't feel like she's staying in someone else's space. I like that, and I'm glad she feels that way. This way when I walk by her room....it'll still have pictures out of her and her friends, posters on the wall, pillows on the bed, etc. I know that it will reassure me that she isn't gone forever, she's just away and will be home now and then.

Nancy

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