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Saying hi and asking ?
| Thu, 10-20-2005 - 3:29am |
Hello to you all!
So my question is....
Can you make a teenager be more organized?? I have to boys 14 and 13
and 3 other younger children. My 13 yr old does well in school, and likes
to get good grades ect... I know he could do better if we weren't always
dealing with.... I forgot that book at school, or Oh man , I have a paper
due tomorrow. I just don't know how to help him get it together. I really
want to make some progress, because next year its off to HS, and then I think
he will really get lost. Help!
So my question is....
Can you make a teenager be more organized?? I have to boys 14 and 13
and 3 other younger children. My 13 yr old does well in school, and likes
to get good grades ect... I know he could do better if we weren't always
dealing with.... I forgot that book at school, or Oh man , I have a paper
due tomorrow. I just don't know how to help him get it together. I really
want to make some progress, because next year its off to HS, and then I think
he will really get lost. Help!

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My 16dd was (is) always disorganized. Things that help her stay on track are charts, an assignment book, and keeping a copy of major textbooks at home.
The charts at home are like checklists for things like homework, chores and things she needs to do or bring with her in the mornings. She had a separate checklist for weekends. The assignment book is like a Daytimer that she carries with her during the week to remember upcoming tests or long term projects so she can be prepared instead of waiting till the night before to get it done. Keeping major textbooks at home may be a challenge for you if your child is not in any 504 program or special ed. My dd is and as part of her educational plan, she is allowed to keep a set of textbooks at home - as part of her issues are not being organized and forgetfulness to the 100th degree! Over the past 5 years, she's developed better organizational skills.
You may be able to find some good tips from a book that deals with helping a child with ADHD and his/her education. Although your child may not have been officially diagnosed with ADHD, he may have some of the symptoms and using the tools that are used for students with attention/organization issues can only be helpful, right? I mean, why not take advantage of the tools they use?
I was going to suggest the same thing about reading about helping children with ADHD. These books offer alot of wonderful suggestions from how to help your child focus while reading to keeping up with which assignments are due when. My DD has ADD and I had to literally teach her how to study and become organized. This information was very helpful.
I'm not suggesting that your son in ADD b/c I think it's very normal for young teens (and some older ones) to be unorganized. Teaching him these skills isn't going to be easy b/c they just don't come naturally to some people. You may need to routinely say a prayer for patience...
Good Luck!
ADD, but perhaps he does have some of the same problems
with organizing that would be a syptom of that. I never
thought of using some of those tools.
Maybe I could use them to b/c I seem to have some of
the same problems organizing thing that he does. I just
thought it's because the children have stolen my brain. lol!
I would love any recommendations. Currently reading "The ADD Answer" by Dr. Lawlis. I also have a 16 y.o. ds with "mild ADD". We have a Section 504 plan (in California) but it has not helped much. He's gotten better about writing his assignments in his agenda (instead of keeping them "in his head"). As we have for years, we are hoping to continue to avoid medication. But the schools love it when you medicate...
I think you've gotten some really great advice here already. I'd only suggest that you may need to enlist the help of your DS' teachers and follow-through some yourself at first and until he gets the routine down.
Both my kids attend schools that actually provide binder reminder/agendas to each student. DS, middle school, has teachers that require the students fill in the binder reminder each Monday morning with their assignments, homework and tests for the week. He does a great job of filling it out, but once he leaves school the fact that he has an agenda leaves his brain and he rarely looks at it except when it's time for me to sign it.
If I look at DDs', high school, agenda, it will be just about completely blank except for the occassional entry -- "Buy dance ticket!" -- "NO SCHOOL!!!" -- "MY Birthday!" Well, whatever.
I do get the "oops, I forgots" pretty regularly. Both kids have A's in all their classes so it's a bit hard to complain ...
Ha ha - my H always says that the kids have sucked out my brain....that's why I can't remember anything and why I start some other project when I haven't finished the first!
How many times have you gone into another room for something and find yourself doing something else and then when you eventually make it back to the original room you discover what you were originally doing and have to go back to that other room for the original thing you were looking for, say, like the scissors or scotched tape? Happens to me all the time, especially when I'm trying to already do too many things at once! I now use lists and can *usually* stay on track better. But still...
Flylady! Have you heard of her? The concept is to break each task down into small steps. Her website (www.flylady.net) is mainly geard toward helping adults keep their homes and, by association, their lives in order but some of the ideas can be used to help teens with organization.
My dd has a school planner AND a wall calendar at home. I have her "synchronize" them every Monday after school and I try to have her glance at her wall calendar every day.
Also, specific instructions help: We use the Flylady concept with keeping her room habitable. I will send her up every couple of days and say "Work for fifteen minutes and clear the books of your nightstand" or "Just pick up your closte floor)". If you just say "straighten up" to my dd, she'll go upstairs, put on some music, dance around her room, pick up a magazine off the floor and then decide to completely redo her walls with pages from said magazine!
If she's being really forgetful at school, I have her write - on her hand! - whatever it is she is supposed to remember. Her school is 30 minutes away, so there's no going back to pick up forgotten items.
Good Luck!!
jt (who uses sticky notes all over the house and even calls her own answering machine to remind herself to do things!)
I am a sticky-note nut also. I make lists and I leave notes for both my dd's every day. Just simple reminders of things that need getting done each day - even if they seem redundant, at least the girls have no excuses if there is a note sitting there on the counter, right?
Regarding the flylady: I tried her methods, which I actually liked the outcomes, but I felt even more under the gun to do things on a certain timetable or each day/week, etc. I have incorporated a lot of her ideas into my everyday living, however, I've only used what works for me and left the rest. Breaking up tasks is definitely better than trying to tackle one entire job in an afternoon - dd becomes very overwhelmed by that. Which is why her daytimer comes in hand - she knows about long term assignments all the way up until the due date so she can work on them a little at a time.
Don't you wish you'd bought stock in 3M when sticky notes were invented? I sure do!
As to Flylady, I also incorporate her philsophy into my life rather than taking her literally. I think they can be a bit scary and over the top with some of the rituals .. at least they are to me. I have a friend who follows her to the letter, and it's worked for her - so I guess there's a method for everyone. I find the most valuable concepts of Flylady are "zones" - this has been huge as far as me (and dd and dh) being able to manage things - and the simple bedtime routine. I don't do the bubble bath thing, but I do allow myself reading time - and laying out clothes for some reason has helped quite a bit. Dh is a volunteer fireman and also works very odd hours so I never know until morning if he's getting up or if he's been up all night and is just getting to sleep. I used to show up at work and at dd's school in the oddest combinations from getting dressed in the dark!
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