Scared for DD...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Scared for DD...
5
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 1:22pm

My 17 yr. old daughter is dating a 20 yr. old boy for about 3 months now.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lkite76
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 1:58pm

{{Hugs, mom}} It sounds like your dd has a severe case of infatuation with her young

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: lkite76
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 2:20pm

Do I just take everything away and hope that when she's 18 he's out of the picture.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lkite76
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 2:20pm

I personally am of the belief that they all rebel to some degree and at some point in time; it's their way of establishing independence(and our way to be somewhat 'glad' its time for them to move on ;))

I don't want to gloss over what you are going through but it seems 'typical' for girls to become infatuated with a BF, especially the first serious one.

I also think threatening to move out on their 18th birthday is common. My middle son certainly did this. I ignored it-I didnt even lecture him on the cost of living. It's rather like a toddler stamping his foot, KWIM?

All that said, it WILL get better. I like to think of it as they go away for a little while and then they come back(my oldest is 22)

You need to determine specifics of dating rules-with the 1/wk guy, you just didnt have the need-now you do! You have the right to expect her home for dinner 5 days a week, for example. Whatever. Just remember it can't be ALL about what you want; as she approaches adutlhood, it is time to compromise

IMHO this is 85% DD and 15% BF. He was likely in the right place at the right time. It's hard to put the responsibility on our kids but it's unlikely he's forcing her to smoke

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: lkite76
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 8:19pm

ITA windrush.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
In reply to: lkite76
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 8:42pm

I'm going to be devil's advocate here so I apologize if this is still harsh but here's what I see.