school going to far
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| Fri, 12-02-2005 - 7:53am |
Ok I need to see if I am the only parent who thinks this is going to far. How would you react if the school called you and stated that your daughter was suspended for hugging her boyfriend on school grounds? There has a been a new rule put into affect at or school system called GAY STRAIGHT ALLIANCE you are not to have any physical contact with another. My daughter is a sophmore at our local high school. If you are caught holding your boyfriend or girlfriends hand you get a saturday detention. If you give your boyfriend or girlfriend a hug or a kiss you are suspended. You are not even allowd to hug a friend. My daughters boyfriend had his hand on her hip the other day and the teacher stated she didn't need to see them haveing sex in the hall way. I understand that there has to be rules but am I the only one thinking this is going to far. I have no problem with my daughter walking down the hall of the school holding her boyfriends hand I know this isn't going to lead her to haveing sex. I can understand if the kids are in the hallway passionatly kissing but to be walking down the hall holding hands equals spending your saturday in detention.
Mlisd

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After having spent a good share of the 02-03 school year getting reports from teachers and other parents about how S and C were drapped all over each other at school and at school events, I have to say I do wish our school would have had a policy like this!!!
It may be a rule but I agree -- its stupid. Who are these kids hurting by hugging and holding hands in the hall? Aren't there more worthwhile things to enforce in the school than out-of-control hugging!?! Gosh, maybe we should all hug a little more -- might curb some violence in the schools. I think you should challenge it and honestly if it were me I'd organize a full day of hugging -- let the teachers spend all day Saturday with a full building of kids.
Honestly, for chrissakes, what have we come to? We don't allow HUGGING!?! What next? No holding doors for each other because its condescending? Or maybe we shouldn't carry each other's books because, gasp!, we might catch some germs from those texts there.
You know what this is don't you? Notice the name is "gay-straight alliance"? Some uptight administrators and parents don't want gay teens showing any public displays of affection so they say ALL kids can't show any affection.
You know what this is don't you? Notice the name is "gay-straight alliance"? Some uptight administrators and parents don't want gay teens showing any public displays of affection so they say ALL kids can't show any affection.
Thank You for mentioning the name. That is another thing that has rubbed me the wrong way.
I was watching the early show last week and they were doing a segment on how some states are starting to segergate classes. Stateing that the kids can learn better with same sex class rooms then if you intergrate the kids. Here is my thought. The school can teach my child about sex the different kinds of sex relationships. They can even teach my child how to put a condum on. Just maybe if they spent more time on teaching these kids how to communicate with there opposite sex at a younger age. Because most of these kids sure don't learn this at home either. Just maybe this generation will have a lower number of divorce rate then our generation. Because these kids will have learned the most valuable thing of a relationship. More valuable then putting a condum on. I know I'll probably get flak on that. You segragate these kids and they won't have any idea on how to talk with the opposite. If you think about it more and more kids are growing up in single family homes{not that that is bad} but already have no chance on communication skills. You may never use algabra again in your life but eveybody will use talking with there loved one.
jt
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Personally I agree with you about it not bothering me that kids hold hands or hug at school. However, I have to think about the above comment - maybe this time, the standards are going back to the higher ones that we used to hold for our kids. Many, many years ago, this wouldn't have been acceptable behavior at school, standards of conduct were higher and we didn't have as many kids on drugs or pregnant. I'm not saying that holding hands or hugging at school is the root of all evil but it is something to think about.
I agree with both points of view (nothing like sitting on the fence, folks!! ) Academic standards and extra curricular standards are so high for kids these days, it is no wonder that they are overwhelmed, and incapable of making good decisions. A few years back, my son's teacher told me that the 4th grade standards were pushed down to be now 3rd grade, and 5th grade was now 4th grade, etc..............it is amazing what kids are exposed to in elementary schools. Our elementary schools go to 5th grade now, whereas when I was in school we went to 6th..........the 5th graders took over safety patrol and other 'big kid' duties----and are held to the same standard as children a full year older than them......it is almost too much! One year makes a HUGE difference in a kids maturity level.
But, then we go back to just plain following the rules. Again, when I was a kid, you wouldn't THINK of going against the 'rules'. We may have complained, or something, but rarely did anyone take a stand. We followed the rules, because they were rules. What happened to that? Schools have catered to students and their parents and the 'rights' of students (and parents) to the point of everything being bassackwards.......the kids seem to rule and the administration has to sit on their hands rather than take control.
Now, do I think minor public displays of affection are problematic? NOOOOOO. I agree with another poster about being a rite of passage.......but the fact of the matter is that there was a rule, and it was broken. It is what we counsel each other on when we have a kid that is misbehaving at home........stick to your guns, right? Don't let them have the upper hand.............it is unfortunate that something seemingly so minor is being taken so seriously, but I agree with one of the other people....after her punishment is served, calmly and quietly get a group of like-minded people together (parents and kids alike) and approach the school with an alternative policy........one that everyone can live with.
I agree that there is a distinct possiblity that the 'gay straight' alliance or whatever is at the root of the problem. That the administration doesn't want to take any flak from people offended by same sex couples showing public affection, therefore, they put a policy in place so NOBODY can do this........therefore avoiding the root of the problem...........rather than tell those 'offended' to mind their own business--it's easier to stop ALL pda rather than deal with the few students and parents that probably raised cain over same sex issues.
So maybe the like minded group needs to take into account what the 'real' issue could be and try to find a solution that would suit most..............you can't please all the people all the time.............
Good luck, and this has been a veryinteresting discussion.
Shels
Well, my high school had this rule back in the 70s and there was no gay straight alliance back then so Im not sure thats what is at the root of it all
I think it must be hard-knowing how apt teens are to argue-to speak out against what would be inappropriate physical attention to most adults. I dont know that the administration is upset about hugs and pecks on the cheek, but, again, teens being what they are, they would defend a 5 minute, tongue thrusting, hand groping embrace as "I was just kissing her goodbye"
After all, oral sex isnt sex to this generation
I think it is a little sad but I also 'feel' for the schools in trying to sort it out and applaud their efforts to do something. DS's school, to me, is reluctant to take on ANY rules and/or discipline and that is a pain as well!
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