school just called, got words of wisdom?
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| Fri, 02-10-2006 - 2:17pm |
my son, who is a senior, had a little issue with a sub teacher in his class this morning. The sub said he wasn't working, he said he was. There is also a teachers aide in that classroom who he doesn't like (this is news to me...), who attempted to get in it (and should have stayed out of it). My son said to this aide something to the affect of, "are you really a teachers aide or did you just not graduate from high school?" Totally rude and uncalled for. They asked him to apolgize, he refused. He's not sitting in "in school" suspension for being so disrespectful and refusing to apologize for it. I told them he could sit there for a while, then I'll come in and talk to him. I'm hoping that once he chills for a few minutes (more like an hour) that he'll be willing to go an apologize.
What would you do? I've got a lot going on today, so this will have to be squeezed in. Maybe I should just let him sit there longer, I dunno. I'm open to opinions.

I would probably do what you are suggesting. I would give my child a little while to think about the situation and maybe during that time he/she would apologize.
Good Luck to you!
Hugs,
Angie (mom to ds 18, dd 16, b/g twins 4)
Sounds to me like everybody involved has a good share of the blame here.
A HS senior should not be publically taken to task for "not working."
Save that crap for grade school art class.
By high school, what is expected to be done during class time should be spelled out at the beginning of the class and reflected in the grade. I think the sub was out of line making an issue about it. Then having a TA escalate the scene just makes it look even more ridiculous.
Unless your DS has a history of open defiance in school, I'd let this ride. I wouldn't congratulate him and buy him pizza, but I'd let him know it's important to assert yourself when you feel wronged and freely admit fault when you screw up.
Maybe if he felt heard he could at least apologize for the cutting remark but at the same time let them know the others involved did not handle this appropriately.
In less than a year he may be college bound. A part of me would be proud for sticking up for himself. But he ran his mouth off and needs to take the consequences.
I did go over to the school and talked to him, he was still refusing to apologize for his end of it, wouldn't even look up when he said it. This is something that is eating at him. He was literally just sitting there, missing the school day. The notice on the door clearly says the kids are to be doing the school work they are missing, but, he was not allowed to GET the school work for the day. Um, ok, that makes no sense to me. No wonder there are so many kids sitting there just wasting time. I told him *I* would take him to his classes to get his work, he didn't think I could remove him from the room and once I convinced him that in fact, I could even remove him from the school, he decided he didn't want to go get it anyway, didn't want to interupt other classes in progress. I asked the school secretary to get his last class of work sent down to him so he could at least get that done, but they didn't do that, either. And the principal that called me left for the weekend a moment after we hung up.
So, my current game plan is to sit down with this teachers aide, the pricipal that called me, my DH, my DS and me, and maybe one or 2 of his friends from that class, and figure out what actually happened. That aide needs to be dealt with for being disrespectful to the students and they both need to apologize to each other. I'll try to get that put together on Tuesday.
Basically, this whole thing just was a tiny little event that got blow out of proportion. The kids were supposed to be watching crash videos to help them figure out how to drop an egg from 25 feet with out it breaking. I think more than that, it was a time filler so the sub didn't actually have to do anything. He was watching a crash video with someone else looking on and when the friend commented, the teacher assumed he wasn't doing his work. When he disagreed, the sub tried to send him to the office and he wouldn't go (I wouldn't have, either!!!) and then, to make it all worse, he didn't give his name and no one else in the class would give his name, so the sub asked the aide (who should have already given his name...) and the aide had plenty to say, all spoken under her breath and nasty. Seems to me like they really needed adults in the room.... LOL
Ah, if he can only hold out 4 more months, then he's off to fight for his country, military bound and as far out of this country as he can go. :(
well before you start playing mom detective, i wanted to ask you a quetion:
what kind of kid is your son? is he the kind who will hold a grudge forever, stubborn? i s he a believer in black and white, right and wrong? or does he know how to compromise in life? will he blow up and then cool down?
in general, i agree that much has been made about nothing here - but the longer YOU drag this on the longer it may last. let it go. i agree that your son was both right and wrong - he was right in standing up for his rights but he was wrong in his remark to the TA. its a rule in life - sometimes we need to do things justbecause "authority" told us to do so, even if we disagree or don't understand. sometimes "authority" are idiots, bad people - but they are still authority. and this doesn't mean that i believe in 'blind' obedience either. its a tricky road....