School night bed time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
School night bed time?
16
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:25pm
What is a reasonable bedtime for a 14 year old? My son is starting high school this week. He thinks he's too old for an early bedtime, but he has to get up by 6:15am! What time does your 14 year old go to sleep? How does it work for you / them?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:29pm
My daughter goes to bed at 11:00 the latest. What I tell her is that, this is your limit. It's pretty late, and if you choose to break the rule, then you WILL be getting up tommorrow, and to school on time. No excuse. So, when she stays up to late, she has to get up, and she's so tired, she won't do it again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:35pm

My DD16 doesn't have a specific bedtime, but she has a set wake-up time. My only expectation (and it's a firm one) is that she needs to be able to wake up on time and get to school on time. Tell your son that he doesn't need a bedtime set by his parents if he can demonstrate that he can wake on time and have enough energy to do well in school. Not everyone needs the same amount of sleep - but it is important that he learn to take responsibility for getting enough sleep.

Interestingly for my DD - she's realized that, like me, she needs a good night's sleep. She's often in bed by 10, and usually asleep by 11. I've never had to tell her to go to bed (or at least never had a fight about it) on a school night.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:52pm
When my boys were 14yo freshmen they had to be in their room either reading or listening to music by about 9:30
Pam
Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 10:58pm

My ds16 doesn't have a set bedtime, and hasn't for a long time. He usually is up until 11:00, but he doesn't have to get up until 7:15am. He's really good about going to bed when he's tired, regardless of the time. I've seen him in bed asleep by 9:30 if he's tired. He usually heads off to his room by 10:00pm to listen to music or watch TV.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 5:25am
At 14, my dd had to be in her room by 9pm and I generally expected her to be asleep by 10pm. When she balked at an early bedtime in middle school, I made her do some research on sleep requirements for children, teens, and adults as well as the effects of sleep deprivation. If your son needs to get up at 6am, then in order to get the bare minimum of 8 hours required for an adult (teens generally need slightly more) he would need to be *asleep* by 10pm. I would work with him to get some information and educate him on the necessity of getting adequate sleep and the fact that his getting up early is driving his early bedtime. Adults base their bedtime on when they get up, not how old they are or how mature they think they are. If he really wants to show how mature he is, he can try to understand this basic principle of life and accept that he needs to get adequate sleep based upon his wake-up time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:24am

Once my kids got to high school, I pretty much let them pick their bedtimes, but insisted that they get enough sleep to get up and be ready for school in the morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:24am

My sophomore had to be in bed at 10 last year and I said the same for this year

I was actually more lenient with the older two although Im confident we started high school with a set bedtime. Im pretty sure I let it go junior year as long as they were able to get up in the AM with just their alarm

Probably most important thing is getting all the goodies out of their room. My soph has to turn in his computer keyboard at 10. For other kids it might be a cell phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:22am

Connor is a freshman this year. He has to get up at 5:45 am (Needs to actually be at school at 7am). He usually turns lights out around 9 pm. We have no set bedtime for him, as he has always chosen to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Some days it's as early as 8:45 and others it's closer to 9:30. It all depends on how tired he is. He's always up, dressed and bed made before breakfast in the am. Breakfast is typcially served at 6:15 am.

stacy

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:24am
Mine should be in bed by 11....but usually is in bed by 9:30 - 10:00 as he has to get up at 5:30 to catch a 6:30 bus (barbaric if you want my opinion!!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:26am

All good points of view and although I like kids picking
their own bedtime,I know that wouldn't work in my house,LOL.
My 13 year old thinks he should stay up until 11 but itsn't
enough sleep.We aim for being in his room by 10pm although
he often will push the limit.He also doesn't have a tv in his
room,so he is a good reader,and I think the no tv thing is a
part of that.

Shelley
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