school picture day

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
school picture day
19
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 1:38pm

Today is school picture day for my 16 yo DSD (since my DD is a senior, they had to take special pics. over the summer to be ready for the yearbook). My DSD's picture outfit (of course you can only see the shirt) is a black T shirt since she wears black almost every day. Last night she asked to go to the drug store to get mascara, so I took her. Instead she picked out eye shadow that was almost black. Now mind you, she has red hair (a very pretty color), brown eyes and pale skin w/ freckles. I told her that the eye shadow was a little dark for her coloring and she might end up looking like she was ready for Halloween. Her response is "but I like it." She also does the heavy eyeliner. When she first started to wear eye makeup, I bought her eyeliner and mascara in brown, which looked better than black. Other than the makeup and T shirts, she hasn't really adopted the rest of the Goth look. I just saw the back of her this a.m. as she was running out for the bus, so I don't know how the makeup looked. I guess we shall see when the pics come back.

I can't make a big deal about this. Maybe years from now, she will look back at those pics and think "what was I thinking?" or maybe she'll like them. The other day she was asking her dad if she could get her upper ear or eyebrow pierced and he didn't look too happy. The funny part, that I couldn't wait to point out to him, is that he has quite a few tattoos, including one from his much younger days, that's a skull w/ the word "rebel" on top of it, so he's really not one to talk, whereas I'm very conservative in my looks and dress. I would never think of getting a tattoo. He also used to have 2 earrings in one ear and had hair down to his waist when he was young. Then a couple of years ago, he had to have surgery and had to take the earrings out and since he couldn't move his arm up, he couldn't put them back in. I told him that a 50 yr. old man who now has short hair is really getting too old for earrings.

My friend's 20 yr. old son came home from college w/ both his ears pierced. She said at least it's better than a tattoo, cause the holes can close up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 1:56pm
I personally am not a fan of teens having multiple piercings, tattoos or the "goth look", but as mothers, I hope we all realize, this to shall pass and none of those are the worst things our daughters could come home with. She sounds like a cute girl and I'm sure the picture will come out great - it's her style, for now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 1:58pm

Has your dh ever heard the expression "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"? LOL. I know what you mean b/c my dh had really long hair when he was a teen and was a rebel as well. I do believe he had his ear pierced once (when he was drunk, he claims) but thankfully no tattoos. Now of course he doesn't want our teens to get any piercings, either. Funny how things change.

Btw, I do have a funny story to tell about my ds16 (who has ADD). He came home one day with his ear pierced (his 'friend' had done it!). After I had a little hissy fit about needles, sterilization and safety and he assured me that had been done (!) I had to laugh. The earring wasn't even in for a day, if I remember. It became painful, and typical male, he said, "the h*** with this!" and took it out and let it close up. I was hoping he would re-think all piercings from then on, but now he wants 'snake bites' which are two in the bottom lip. He is saving the money himself b/c I will not pay for it, although I insist that it be done through a reputable safe place. I asked him to please wait at least until he is 17 (next month) and consider his younger sister who is always waiting in the wings for "her turn". He has agreed. I am going to remind him several times in between of what things he could buy instead with the $80 it will cost, and also about the pain he previously endured. I am so far not "forbidding" it.

This is all about style, anyway. When I look at the musical artists my kids listen to, which is hard rock, that is the current style - mostly piercings, and some tattoos (which fortunately my teens aren't asking for).

You're right - your dsd will one day say to herself, "what was I thinking?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 2:16pm

No, you really can't make a big deal of this! Your DD's 'look' whether you love it or not, is how she is at this time in her life!

When my DS teeth were coming in in 1st grade, oh, they were a mess! I think the term 'snaggle tooth' was coined with him in mind. When picture time came along, he took the cutest picture but his little teeth looked awful, coming in in all different directions in all the wrong places. Then I realized, this is how he is, in 1st grade. Will I want to remember him any other way than the way he is now? The answer was 'no'!

I look back on pictures of my kids when they were younger and I forget how they used to look then, compared to how they look now.

So you might not like your DD's choice of clothing and make-up today, but in 10 years, you'll look back and remember her as she is today.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 2:37pm
I believe that teens should experiment with their looks, but when it becomes to something permanent (such as my daughter's request to pierce her lower lip...I don't believe the holes ever close up) I have to draw the line. Also, I told my daughter that I was not going to spend several hundred dollars on "senior pictures" with her looking "gothic". That's not going to happen. I personally don't want to remember her looking this way because I think it looks freakish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 2:51pm

I get kind of amused when I go to the mall on a Fri. night and see the real Goth kids with the big black pants with all the zippers and basically they look like they have a costume on. My DSD has one friend who has naturally brown hair, but occasionally she will die it red or purple. She is kind of an artistic type. I admire this girl because she is different, but she seems very self-confident about her choices.

I wouldn't care that much about a piercing of the eyebrow or navel, but I would def. think twice about piercing the lips or tongue because the chance of infection is much greater.

The thing is that my DSD really had beautiful hair, not only the color but it's also naturally curly. However, since the syle now is straight, she just pulls it back as tight as possible and tries to slick it down. She was wearing it in a ponytail but now tries a bun. Someday she won't fight her natural hair and hopefully she will appreciate it, but it's hard in high school to be different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 4:05pm
Just keep telling yourself this style will pass. My DS used to wear the baggy pants in high school that looked as though he could fit another human in there with him, I hated the look. But now as a junior in college he has gone the exact opposite and the jeans he wears are skin tight LOL. If I had it to do over I probably would not have commented as much on his dress, although at the time I kept telling my husband it was a phase and would pass. As far as the lip piercing for your daughter... the holes do close very quickly if removed. My son as a freshman at college got his pierced...which I preferred to the tatttoos he also had done (although they are pretty much covered by clothing). He is doing a co-op at school this year and removed the piercing for work, he said if he doesn't insert it at lunch by the time he leaves work after 8 hours it is already starting to close with a thin layer of skin.
So don't consider the piercings as permanent....it is just another phase. As my son told his Grandfather, if I don't do it now when can I?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 4:21pm

Well of course not for senior pictures! That is something different altogether. But for a regular school pic a black shirt and dark eyeshadow doesn't seem so extreme to me. Might not be mom's preference -- certainly isn't mind -- but OP even said her DSD wasn't into the full 'goth' look, just that she wore black all the time.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 8:35pm
My rule was, since I was paying for the pictures and expected to be able to send them in the holiday cards without flinching, I would choose the outfit and give the final approval to the makeup. That was until my daughter, just before time for her senior pictures went out and got dreadlocks. No senior pictures. I was much more disapointed than her. She still has her dreads three years later and I have actually gotten used to them. She was voted most unique style of her senior class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 8:57pm

My kids have done a variety of "freaky" looks over the years, and they've all left them behind for the much more conservative look of the US military.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 9:44pm
Immediately upon graduating from high school, my fairly conservative son went out and got both ears and his tongue pierced. All of that is long gone. A few years ago he came home with an asian symbol tattoed on his chest which he told me meant "warrior". To which I replied "How do you know?" To this day he cannot verify it. He may be walking around with "idiot" tattoed forever on his chest.

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