school problems with 9th grader

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
school problems with 9th grader
15
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:16am
Hi- i am new to this message board, but i need some help with my 13 year old son who is in 9th grade.
He received his progress reports from school and he is not doing very well- missing assignments, low grades on teses and quizzes, etc. up to this point in school he cared about how he did and usually tried his best. My main concern is now he does not care. He seems more concerned with the social aspect of school. Has anyone gone through this? Or do you know of any websites or message boards to help me?
Thanks,
Elaine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:28am
13 is young to be in 9th grade. How did that happen? Could it be that he is emotionally unprepared to take on high school?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:44am
yes- he went to school when he was 4- he will be 14 in a month. he is young.
elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 9:38am

My ds15 had a bit of a rough start academically to high school last year (in 9th grade).

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 9:43am
thanks
elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 10:24am

DD went through this in 10th grade. I literally called her teachers every Fri for a report. If she had missed an assignment or done poorly on one, she didn't get to go out with her friends until she had completely the assignment to my satisfaction. I made it about learning the material. Even if the teacher didn't accept the late assignment, she still had to learn the material. It didn't take long before she realized that if she wanted a social life on the weeekends, she had to work during the week. Now she even realizes that school is easier if you do your work - you build on what you learned last week and if you didn't learn last week's material, then you will struggle this week. She's a senior now with a 3.5 average (several honors courses).

Good Luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 10:37am
Thanks for the advice. I will do something like what you did.
elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:28am
hi Pam- very good advice - i was wondering if your son is doing better this year? Also, since my only other child is a DD 17- did either of your boys go through a lazy stage? He is alot less independent than my daughter was at his age. He is a good kid, but going through a rough stage.
Thanks,
Elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:57am

I have a 13yo freshman too and your message is very timely since I supervised DD's homework for most of the day yesterday -- ugh.

In my favor, fortunately, is the fact that she does do well in school and wants to continue to do well. She is easily distracted and has a serious tendency to dawdle, however. Not just with schoolwork though, with everything. It is frustrating.

After yesterday, I came to the conclusion that all she really needs to learn better time mangement and prioritizing skills. Her teachers post homework assignments on their websites so I will be checking it daily against what she has done for homework. Hopefully, I will be able to give her a printed copy the assignments out each morning so she can take them with her when she leaves for school She does her homework in the library after school every day and while she does get most of it done, there seems to be something she is rushing to get done at 9:00pm on a regular basis because she 'forgot'.

As parents, we may just have to be more involved in homework than we want to be for a while until our teens learn to manage their time.

Good luck!

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 12:08pm
Hi Julie- you are right on with your post. My son is also easily distracted and dawdles. He does not have any time management skills either and tends to "forget" alot lately. He usually wants to do well and is capable of it. It is very frustrating for me too- he wants to be independent but I guess developmentally is not capable of it now.
Your post made me feel beter to know that someone is going through a similar thing. I realize i need to be more involved still. Thanks,
Elaine
Please post any sugestions or things that work for you and your daughter in terms of time management.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 12:25pm

Mostly I post on this board about my precocious 13 y.o. dd, but I have a 15 y.o. ds who has struggled with time management, laziness, and procrastination since ? always. It became progressively worse in 5th grade. In 8th grade I obtained a 504 plan for him as a psychiatrist diagnosed him with "mild ADD". The plan has been useless. Basically you need to stay involved - even in high school. I know, I know, I thought that by now I would be free from such constant involvement in homework. My dd doesn't even "let me" look at her stuff, says she's got in under control - which was welcome for years because of my over involvement with ds. But now it appears they are both struggling. :(

I would appreciate any time management info anyone has to post, as well. And if you come up with how to motivate a lazy teen, by God, patent it!

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