School Projct Helped Clarify Personality

Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
School Projct Helped Clarify Personality
2
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 6:50am
Hello, my DD (17), a Senior had a project to work on last night for her Psych/Soc. class which really gave the opportunity to look at her personality and understand it a little better... for her as well as me. It asked that she find someone who could answer and expand on things like "are you introverted or extroverted?" "Are you agreeable or stubborn?" "What's your emotional stablility?" "Are you open to new experiences?" I got to tell her what was good about her personality and that none of the traits were a negative.... they just ARE. I had not really thought about any of these things but after thinking, I let her know that she is rather introverted and prefers to watch rather than join in, is stubborn which can be good at times or can cause problems. The two that I really enjoyed talking to her about were the last two. After all she has been through in the last year and a half, she really is emotionally strong. Although she has healthy emotions, she rarely "loses it." She maintains her composure even in the most difficult situations. She is also very open to new experiences; she learned to wakeboard this past summer, went to some wakeboard competitions in other towns, has recently been getting involved in her college plans, is taking a college-level English class, went to visit a family in Florida by herself, and a number of other things.
Last night was Senior Night at the swim meet. We were SOO proud of her when she broke the school record in the 100 breast stroke! And when she was standing up on the blocks as they announced her college and career plans. I couldn't believe it when her old BF (the one who caused SOOO much trouble last year) showed up! I was happy she didn't even want to talk to him. It's like many of you told me.... when they get a little older, they turn a corner and become easier because they understand the world a little better. I now realize she HAD to go through the crap she did in order to learn. No doubt... what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Deb
Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:46am

Deb,

That is great! Congratulations to your daughter for making it as far as she has! It sounds like she has a great future - and I know you must be feeling very proud!

Amelia

P.S. It does give the rest of us some hope, lol!

Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 1:04pm
Willow, thanks for your encouragement. I can't remember if you were on the board when I was ready to just give up on DD because of all the opposition and the poor (and risky) choices she was making. I had heard from some of the others that things had gotten better for them when their teens got older or when they got into their 20's. I was hopeful, but I also had some serious doubts about this child. I am here now to tell you all that there is hope. If I could make it through, the rest of you can too. I would not say I can completely relax yet. We are still dealing with ADD and being conscientous with work and school work and making responsible choices on weekends. But I know that DD WANTS to do well in the whole scheme of things. Last year... I didn't think she would ever care. All the good things in her life didn't seem important to her at that point in time. She wanted to give up swimming so she could spend more time with her unmotivated, abusive, drunk BF. Now look at her... she is captain, broke a school record and is their star swimmer. I have to practically tape DH's mouth shut so he can't give her an "I-told-you-so" phrase. He hasn't learned yet not to say things like that. Surely SHE realizes she made the right choice by getting away from BF. Although we will still have challenges, I know that her past pain will help her handle things better. I know she will have to make some poor choices again, because that's how she learns. She currently has a BF who is a HS dropout. At least he's not abusive... everyone knows she could do so much better. Some day maybe she will realize it; I do think so at this point. Not much I can do about that except be supportive and love her always.
Deb
Debbie