School Starts Next Week

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
School Starts Next Week
27
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 11:33am

Although I haven't been around much lately (I found this major house move to be all-consuming in every way possible) I wonder if I could beg off some positive thoughts and good vibes from everyone? I find that the closer the first day of school gets, the higher my anxiety level rises. It is so hard to be the 'calm in the storm' and be reassuring that 'everything will be fine' to your nervous offspring when your own insides are churning!

DS starts school Monday. Brand new junior high; (grades 7-9; weird, huh?) knows one person in his grade and even has a class with him. W came back from a week-long YMCA camp last Friday completely transformed -- happy, confident, far more outgoing. He even cut his hair!!!! Somewhere around 4" are gone (tells you just how long it was) but it is still on the 'longish' side. I love that I can see his lovely green eyes, his freckled nose and that he is no longer 'hiding' behind his hair. I pray that this newfound confidence will carry him through what will most likely be an awkward week or so, until he makes friends.

Coming from a private high school, DD starts public school on Tuesday. She is entering her junior year and knows 1 person (sophomore) and a few acquaintances by sight -- two girls she met through a pottery class she took at the local rec center and a couple kids she met waiting in line for photo IDs on registration day. I truly believed that the private school she came from had quite a diversified student body -- until I went to registration day with C. We were both struck speechless. Oh P-- High School! Diversity is Thy Name. C, with her mostly wholesome and 'girl next door' appearance, was definitely in the minority.

Since we had to wait in line for nearly 1.5 hours, C and I had a good long time to observe and 'digest' it all -- which was a very good thing, as I think initially, we were both in a "OMG, what have we done?" state of shock. C says she is now looking forward to starting school and getting to know everyone -- particularly the more 'colorful' characters. It does seem that the kids were very accepting of all the other groups and ethnicities. I didn't notice much (if any) of the typical 'posturing' and 'looking down the nose' behavior so typical of teenagers. I pray that this is truly the case.

I have been pedaling my bike all over creation to help relieve the anxiety. I'll probably find myself pedaling into Wyoming next week!

Anyway ... good vibes would very much appreciated.

Julie

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 2:23pm

Even though we *know* other people have done these kinds of moves successfully, it IS comforting to know that someone else is experiencing it at just the same time, isn't it?

We too, feel that God has led us to this town, this home, these schools. It was a move we ALL made willingly and with much thought and prayer. Even so, it is nerve rattling!

Do you know, there was a kid on registration day dressed like a pirate? Dread locks past his shoulders, a pirate hat (with beads and a scarf attached), puffy shirt, leather vest, a pleated SKIRT and knee-length lace up gladiator sandals! That was only one of many colorful 'characters' we saw that day. Had this been LA, SF or NYC, I might not have been so taken aback, but I never would have expected it in a fairly small town in Northern Colorado. If seeing that in your childs' school, didn't render a person speechless, there is probably little that will.

Best of luck to you too! Just keep that smile on your face and an open mind ... great advice! Think I'll follow it too ... lol




Edited 8/19/2007 3:02 pm ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 2:38pm

Janet,

Thanks for your kind words; it is nice to have the support of familiar people on this board when you're in a new place and haven't connected with anyone yet!

I don't like being bent over either; which is why I am really enjoying my bike! I tried riding DH's bike a few weeks ago and couldn't get to the end of the driveway -- it is just too uncomfortable. I do think I'd like my handlebars turned up just a bit more. After a long ride (especially with those shopping bags!) my fingers start to get a little numb from the pressure of holding my upper body up.

I'm sorry your home is still unsold! It IS a very frustrating, and stressful, spot to be in. I think I mentioned to you it took 8 months for ours to finally sell? We didn't get quite the $$ we hoped for either. Ugh. You just never know how things will fall into place and you just might get an offer before October. In any event, you'll land in VA just in time to see the seasons change -- lucky you!

In spite of my school-starting anxiety, I do love our new home. We are still lacking some major pieces of furniture and the yard needs serious attention, but the fencing around the property and barn is complete now and the barn is nearly ready for the arrival of our horses (by horse hauler) sometime this next week. DH is so excited to have them back!

Best of luck to you too -- and your DS as he heads off to college. I know you mentioned once before but I've forgotten, where in VA will you live? I think you will like it there!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 4:10pm

Great to hear Julie!
I heartily agree Ft. Collins is one of the most bike friendly cities in the country. Here's a link (if you haven't found it already.)

http://www.fcgov.com/bicycling/bike-maps.php

And for the groceries..:-)
http://www.amazon.com/Sunlite-Grocery-Getter-Pannier-Bicycle/dp/B000AO5GLY/ref=pd_sim_sg_4/103-7479435-4497419

This is just way too cool. If memory serves, Cache Le Poudre follows a road from CO state park, winds around several resorts and ends up around a small Ft. Collins park? Martin? or something like that? I don't remember the details, but the scenery was beautiful.
Is Star Bar B Cue still there?
Oh.. this sounds like a move made in heaven..
I am so happy for you and your family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 9:36pm
May I ask where you moved from? Was it really far away or just to a different school zone? Moving is always physically & emotionally hard. Thank goodness we haven't moved in several years. My daughter went to a different school for kindergarten, but fortunately all (3) of my kids have gotten to go to the same school throughout. They have never been uprooted in that sense. In kindergarten you don't really realize. As a middle schooler or high schooler I imagine it would be quite hard. "The New Kid". I had to change high schools 1/2way through & it was ssssooooo hard. I was there for a few months and my parents moved me back to my original school. My grades suffered and I had no real friends. There were a few people there I went to church with, but we didn't really hang out that much. If you still live close enough to their old life maybe they can meet up w/ friends on occasion. Getting into sports, clubs, etc... can also help them make new friends quickly & help you get to know parents quickly. I'm involved in alot of activities w/ my kids & because of that I have tons of friends I wouldn't have otherwise. I hope all goes well for your childen & they make their transition easily. Stay on top of it & ask them how things are going. Encourage them to get involved in activities. I hope it all works out. I'm suffering the blues because I moved my 1st born into college this weekend. She's only about 1 hour & 40 minutes away, but I am missing her already. I just left her this afternoon. Hopefully it will get easier. I'll be thinking about you. Have a blessed day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 12:40am

Sending p&pt your way!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:47am

Well hey, daddio ... thanks so much for posting those links! I was actually in the Visitor Center office just last Friday trying to get a map. The supply was depleted, however! I never thought to look on-line for one!

That bike bag looks pretty nifty. I don't have a rear rack, or even a fender thingy for that matter, and it seems I need to get those before I can get the packs. Is there an advantage to having rears bags as opposed to a basket in the front? I suppose one on each side is best for balance?

LOL, I think you are probably more familiar with Ft. Collins than I am! You've been here before, I gather? Shorty after our arrival, I arranged for us all to take a 1/2 day white water rafting trip down the CLP River -- what fun! The kids loved it. Our poor guide had a raft full of first-timers and I am happy to report that there was not a single swimmer. We were pretty well soaked, but not because we fell into the river.

I will have to look for the bbq place -- we are quite fond of bbq! There was a great little place in Alpine that we liked to patronize and someone was just saying 'that' sounded good. We'll get it all in ... eventually.

Thanks again, daddio! You're a good person to 'know'!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:52am

We moved from a small, one stoplight community in San Diego county to a mid-sized college town in Northern Colorado. As anyone who has ever left California will tell you, once you leave, it's nearly impossible to go back. (Unless you are very wealthy -- we're not.) So, it looks like we're here to stay. This was a move we all made willingly and we all are determined to make the best of it. So far, we're off to a smashing start!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts -- any move IS stressful and I've ridden the emotion roller coaster all summer. Hopefully, once the kids get settled in school, I can get off!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:55am

Thanks Marie! Sounds like you need some too, so I'm sending some back your way!

Well, W left this morning a little nervous, but in good spirits. The same age/grade boy across the street rode to school with him and DH said they were chatting away. I guess L told W, "me and my friends are in the 'popular crowd', so if you want to be popular, just hang with me." LOL Gotta love that!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:55pm

<<>>

Weight on the front handlebars makes for snakey and squirrely steering. The preferred method is a rear rack. Putting just one bag on a side, or one on each side doesn't matter. You won't even know it's there.

Yes, I've visited Fort Collins a few times. I rode their trail system on the way to Breckenridge several years ago, when I was young enough to mountain bike actual mountains. lol..
I remember thinking what a great place this would be to live.

Sorry to get so off topic.
How was the first day of school for your young man?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:30pm

Hi Other Moving Mom!

Wow, you are certainly in a colorful school! LOL I guess you have to keep a sense of humor. I'm surprised they don't have a dress code. Well, this should be an intereting experience. I bet Colorado is breautiful though. I stayed there once--Colorado Springs.

The van comes tomorrow for us. My dd is excited. A big reason we are doing it is for her. I think she needed a change. We come from a town now that is totally charming and beautiful really, but anybody dressed in anything but preppy clothes would be turned into the style police. LOL Here, you have to be the perfect preppy--or you are out. Also, the classes and grades were small. 13 girls only in the whole grade for 11 years--and all super-thin, priveleged, hair streaked, designer duds, cool cars, etc. My daughter would squash down in the back seat in our car becuz. it wasn't cool enough. She was with the 'popular" group and the belle of the grade when she looked perfect. Come puberty, acne and some extra poundage and she was shunned by those who knew her since she was three. She's very sweet and kind--and just made the best of it. But it had to hurt , as people would come up to her sister and say oh is your sister the ONE with the acne. Yes, there was only one in her grade--actually I never saw another kid with real acne in the school. All go to top derms in NYC and have perfect skin with a few zits being the exception--perfect hair, clothes, houses, etc. There is a lot of mean girl stuff in the whole upper school--and there was a mass exodus when the kids hit 6th grade. So, many cliques and social jockeying. My girls--13 and almost 15 turned into anti-snobs as a result, hate name droppers, etc. Yet, they were still effected by the atmosphere. My one dd said one day, I don't want to go to soso's birthday party because she is snobbish. (She is and so is the mother). But my daughter adds, send her a present from Aberchromie and Fitch! LOL They were still buying into the snobbism to some degree becuz. that's what they lived amongst. Our family was well accepted as I've been giving and so forth by working for charities, etc. in the town. But as I say when my dd no longer looked the part--many parents and kids jsut parted ways in a subtle fashion. The boys gave thumbs up or down and said if you are seen with the girls who get thumbs down, we won't bother with you. Acne didn't get thums up. So, her so called old friends--except for a true blue handfull (ABOUT THREE)--caved in... My dd survived--and is still an optimist and sweet. The teacher said the cliqueish brought on by the parents interfered with the kids learning. This was unsolicited--just something he mentioned one day. I asked if anything was wrong with my dd. He said no just the opposite. She must have a strong emotional, psychological make-up to endure what she had to at the school. I wish I had taken her out like so many other moms did either becuz. of the social jockeying, academic pressure (most kids are heavily tutored and homework was 4 or more hours a night...etc...Kids wound up with low self esteem unless they were Harvard bound and looked like thin blonde, blue eyed Town and Country types. My dd flourished at camp, thankfully and loved being with just plain kids. We're moving close to the city for my husband's commute. It's the only school there--it's private. Only singles or couples without kids that close to the city, so nobody votes tax dollars to go to schools..

Anyway in two days it is the Big Test!!!! My daughter is starting a sports team at the new school. The girls play in the morning and in the afternoon and break for lunch. This is the big draw for her. The girls walk to town for lunch!!! Oh, she is thrilled with the possibility of having a group of friends as she did at camp and in the pre acne grades at her old school-- and not just the two a piece most did at her small, cliqueish school after the acne/weight. But the girls don't have to eat together, the coach told me. Some bring their lunch, some eat out. If my dd is left out becuz. of the zits and weight--well it will crush her again! This is a very wealthy school as it is private. Also, she is not the majority in terms of ethnic make-up. My close friend's cousin's kids went there and I asked her on the phone if it was easy to fit it, as all the other kids for the most part have known each other since age 3! The woman said to me: what religion are you? When I said Christian, she said you better plan on having your dds hang out on week ends for a few months or so with their friends from their old school--an hour away. So, we keep on saying we're going back to our old town on week ends. They are innocent and think if they are nice they will just be accepted. They have no prejudice against anyone. Ethnic background wasn't the problem at this old school. It was just when the looks were affected so was the social acceptance. Anyway, I can't believe I am just praying they will ask her to lunch!!!!! She will be thrilled as she was in camp. If not, well...let's not go there. I know a girl who went to the new school and on th first day all the kids picked up their tray in unison and she had to eat alone--eventually they accepted her tho. Gosh, it wasn't like this when I was a teen. I was popular because I was always laughing or had a big exended family in town or it was just some luck of the draw really. I don't get it--my kids are nicer, smarter and prettier than I am. But anyway, I never excluded anyone in school--I took the outcasts under my wing. We were kind to each other. Anyway, I am praying she finds a friend or two there. I can't believe this. She was so popular before the acne and weight, I never dreamed I'd have to worry about this.I don't think any kid should unless they are mean to others!! She is kind and nice. A teacher wrote home--your daughter is a special person, there's not a day that goes by she doesn't go out of her way to be kind and nice and helpful to everyone. She was always this way. She's good natured, sweet and fun. She's not a rocket scientist, but she's bright and good in sports. So, if she gets some friends that first week, I'll be thrilled for her. I regret I put her in such a snobby school! I hated when the moms would check my china, crystal, etc. But I had a wide arena for friends. She had- -for years until camp-- to make do with those few in school. Also, this current school we are going to is very academically challenging! Kids flunk out. So, again I am praying she can make it without too much stress--that's what brought on the weight in the old school partly. Her sister is thin as a model, platinum blonde, has clear skins and is a high honor roll student with hardly trying. She also wins athletic prizes, etc. Needless to say, I'm not worried about her altho she despised the cliqueish in her grade as well. So, you have your costume characters--and I have my hope for social acceptance so that she will be included and not shunned--and also that it is not too tough academically. There was one other school she could have gone to in this area--but they were really super rich and snobbish. My dd got accepted by the school--actually they kept pursuing her...But she wouldn't even think about it--becuz. she despised the exclusivity--altho it was easier academically. It is a rich kids enclave. She likes just kids--rich or poor or in between. But they both hate people who judge others by their bank accounts. They feel genuinely sorry for a couple less affluent friends (of single moms in particular) that live in tiny rented houses...

So, we'll see. I think of this move as something I'm doing for my tired husband and my daugher who I feel was treated unfairly and who was plucked down by us into a staunch preppy, exclusive enclave. It is beautiful--a safe, seaside village, where the kids walk around like it was the 50'. But it is so conservative that a woman had lunch with Hillary Clinton and couldn't tell her neighbors or even her husband! When Al Gore came to town sponsored by a friend of mine. Others in town told me I should tell my friend to keep Gore out of town. Oh, my you have your pirates--and I have had prejudiced people. I hope more don't await us. It would be great to see my dd judged by how nice she treated others!! So, that is my tale of hope. I don't know what called you to this part of Colorado and what your dream is for your family there...but I sure hope it all comes out great for you. You seem very nice--so I think it will. I'm going in optimistic and friendly. You usually get back what you give out most of the time. In my old community I made some great friends. I'm already planning an open house Halloween and I joined the Sunshine committee. Yes, I am going to make it work! I so enjoy my dds...I'll do anything to help them find happiness and the right values. That's what I like about the Moms here--they are committed. Oh, my daughter is on Facebook and has already been in touch with about ten kids from the new school Yeah, for the internet in this case. Happy School Days!!! Your Mom on Move Too