School Took DD for Pregnancy Test...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
School Took DD for Pregnancy Test...
42
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 3:41pm
Hello! I need a second opinion here. We just found out Friday that my 14 year old daughter had gone to the school nurse with a story about sneaking out of the house and going to a party. She said that someone had slipped something into her drink and she woke up with no clothes on and believes she had been raped by a 15 yr. old boy. I guess this had happened in March and she was afraid she was pregnant. The school arranged for her and a friend to go down to Public Health for a pregnancy test, which was negative. My husband is furious!! He is wanting to press charges against the school and have the school nurse fired. I don't know... I know the nurse, just not personally. I would hate to be the cause of her losing her job, but I don't believe she handled the situation in the right way. Shouldn't we, as parents have been notified? We ended up finding all of this out Fri. from dd's counselor. I had received a release in the mail from the nurse wanting to correspond with the counselor so I signed the release. All of the above had already taken place though. What are your feelings on this situation? Was the school in the wrong, or are we just overreacting? Oh, and I guess what happened with dd is that she has been sneaking out and having consensual sex but panicked when she thought she was pregnant so made up the story. But that is another subject...
Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:05pm
So sorry that your daughter and your family is going through this!
Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:10pm

(((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

I do you wish you and your daughter all of the luck and healing that you need. I hope that the worst is over for your family,

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 2:12pm
This is such a hard situation and it is very necassary to look at all sides of the issue....there are so many factors involved in making a sound decision....everyrone on here is right in a certain way i think, but only b/c each person is talking about certain factors and the only way to solve an issue of such is to look at the certain factors of the specific case in question so everyone has a point and everyone is right but only in a situation that fits the sepcifications that they are describing, its amazing how complicated am issue it is......I feel that teens in a relationship that are less than a few yrs apart should not been damaged by the rap of a terrible offence just b/c they thought they were in love and made a stupid choice (we have all made stupid choices)....i feel that older teens who should not have been with a younger teen and should get in trouble for the dumb choice they made but not get in the same kind of trouble and have the same rap as a 30 yr old man who rapes a 5 yr old girl either (of course i think we should hang a 30 yr old man who attaks a little girl anyways).....as for confidentiality....its very important....i know none of us have ever harmed our children and would never think of doing so but i also know there are people who do and for that reason...for those children....shouldnt we all be ok with giving up a little knowledge....i would not want to not know if dd was in trouble and did not come to me, i hope she would but we all know sometimes they dont...but at the same time do i really need to know so badly that i would risk so many other children with abusive parents or terrible home situations.....im not sure i could have that on my conscience....but as i said i feel that we should know so we can help our children through those situations...so its a hard call for me on that subject....well anyways just my two cents.....also to the OP...good luck on dealing with ur childs coming home, you have done the right thing by getting her the help she needs, keep working on it and like someone else said dont forget to take time for u so that u can be ready for whatever comes next...God bless you and keep u during this time of need. ((((Hugs))))
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 4:51pm


At least in my case, I can't entirely blame the politicians.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 4:57pm

Well, Julie, I share your opinion about teens in a relationship and no more than a few years apart sharing responsibility, rather than having it all tagged on the boy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 4:58pm

Yes, that is sad, but imagine this scenario:


Your dd14 has just had an abortion, without your knowledge and/or consent.

Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 5:08pm

"But in the case of high school kids who have been seeing each other for awhile, I still stick by my guns, even if we're talking about a freshman and a senior... there is no need to ruin a boy's life because he made the dumb"

This was my point exactly, I mean that I don't think that anyone should be blamed Even If there is a 4 yr age difference. Your story's, both of them, is exactly what I am talking about.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:35pm
Again, the nurse might have not be allowed to let you know. Medical issues might be private.
Again, check the laws where you live. Here, the nurse could not tell you about the "maybe pregnancy".
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:41pm
Maybe in the US but in Canada, it is 14.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:54pm
It varies by state in the US.